I'm not sure where to start..My wife and I have not been getting along the past couple of years. I'm not going to try and explain everything in detail but i believe my wife has (Borderline Personality Disorder). She is very selfish, hateful. vindictive and anything else along these lines! I've researched and bought books on this subject. We have two children ...my son is 12 and my daughter is 8. Both are active in sports and after school activities. I am the only one trying to make ends meet financially. In the last year and a half my wife has (maybee) given me 4 to 5 hundred dollars to help with bills. I filed for divorce at the end of last year but reconciled with her (what a big mistake)I thought things could change(and it was for a couple of months), boy was i wrong! I've just recently went into foreclosure with my morgage. I had to buy a newer vehicle because the one i was driving took a dump. That was Repo'd last night in the middle of the night. I'm at a loss PLEASE HELP!
2006-06-07 16:13:46 · 18 answers · asked by Bryan 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
If the wife is "borderline," and you are "depressed," the two of you need to be getting to a doctor. The next step would be getting into marriage counseling.
2006-06-07 16:17:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing I'd say is don't get divorced. Divorce is never the answer to your problems unless its serious (like your wife has turned gay or is having an affair). Next: what I would say, is to get marriage counseling or talk to a priest. Also, dont record how much your wife adds to your sum of money. You're the provider of the home, and the wife isn't technically supposed to pay her way (although in this modern society, its common). Also, you can live with her disease. Its not enough to bring a divorce into matter here. Put yourself in her shoes: what would it be like if your mate dumped you off with two kids to feed and no money or house or car. Someone did to my friend and she is worse off than you are right at this minute.
2006-06-07 16:21:21 · answer #2 · answered by enginey91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to hear of your burdens. Just remember this to shall pass.
If you have a 401K you can take out a loan against it and not lose your home, if you have already taken a loan out on it and they same no more loans, you can still do a hardship loan when your house is in foreclosure as that qualifies as a hardship.
What the heck is she doing with all this financial crap going on?
Is your Mom, Dad or siblings near you. Having support from your immediate family is helpful.
2006-06-07 16:21:39 · answer #3 · answered by dubdub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE!!!! Why would you continue to put yourself thru that? Kuddos to you for attempting to work it out, but she might only want you around for the financial security, Does she know about the finance problems? If so, and she's not trying to help, then she truly is the selfish, hateful woman you've made her out to be. Why put your children and yourself thru that kind of abuse? Do you want your daughter to learn her mother's so obviously "sweet nature" so that she can treat your future son in law and grandchildren the same way? Or better yet do want to your son to grow up thinking that love is having a wife that belittles him and uses him up for everything he's worth? Don't stand for it! If you're not ready to leave and you want to try one more thing, I think your next step should be suggesting that she seek medical attention. Zoloft, Prozac, Cymbalta......
2006-06-07 16:25:29 · answer #4 · answered by sadiaelena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your wife you should seek therapy for both of you to work through this. Borderline Personality doesn't get better but worse if left untreated. You're going to have to be overly supportive and not expect much in return if she is borderline.
2006-06-07 16:18:26 · answer #5 · answered by Talamascaa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't provide advice, and would be inappropriate to do so. I am sorry to hear of your situation, it sounds desperate. If possible, it would be great for you to stand back, maybe get away for a day or so, and gain perspective, allowing you to make the choices and decisions that will work best for you. I also think no one should go it alone, and encourage you to get professional objective support. Of course there are answers and eventual solutions - best of luck.
2006-06-07 16:23:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out of that marriage and just support your children and be a good dad and things will get better I promise but remember make sure you continue to be a good dad and not just pay child support but also be there for the kids always and things will get much better. Good Luck
2006-06-07 16:17:18 · answer #7 · answered by susan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dealing with anyone who has a mental disorder is often very difficult for family member...unless they are willing to get treatment themselves, then you can only take care of yourself and your kids...do whatever you need to do to live a helathy and fulfilling life...call a credit counselor and make arrangements for your bills and good luck
2006-06-07 16:19:35 · answer #8 · answered by moluvsmark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think out of the box... go out of the situation and analyze every single thing that is happening to you. A little vacation will help. Think of WHAT YOU REALLY WANT and do it, and be prepared for the consequences, whatever it may be.
2006-06-07 16:18:25 · answer #9 · answered by HEAVY METAL BASSIST 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out (http://www.reducingstress.net ) there is a lot of great content, information articles, expert advice and links on the subject there.
2006-06-08 01:52:39 · answer #10 · answered by marketingexpert 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋