Why does rape make you hate ur body/should i go to this Dr?

Question

When this man was holding me down and about to rape me he was rubbing my breasts as if they were fully developed. I was just beginning to go thru puberty and I was only partially showing any growth. After that I hated my breasts and had this fixation that I never wanted to grow up or develop more. It seemed like mature breasts meant you were rape material since he grabbed mine like i was fully developed.( The thought of growing up always sent me into depression.) I secretly felt that and then I went thru this deeply promiscuous time. What the h*** is that all about ? Also, today my regular Dr told me she wants me to see a female psych Dr. for a " pre-emptive PTSD " counsultation. I told her a tiny bit of my feelings and she was alarmed. I told her I didnt think anyone could talk me out of this hole...Should I go and talk or go and just get meds ? Plz pray for me in this decision.

Im 18 yrs old and a student

Answer 1

You don't need prayer, you need a doctor. And you don't need a doctor to "just take meds", you need a doctor to help you work through all the negativeness this has put you through. They put you on meds to start, but it's usually only in the beginning. The therapy is the long and hard part, but it's what's necessary in order to heal.

From one survivor to another, I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 2

It is a very, very common side effect of rape to think that you somehow 'provoked' it, that if you didn't have breasts or a nice ***, this somehow would not have happened. This is crap.

This was NOT your fault; it was the fault of the sick freak who did this to you. Rapists prey on old, young, skinny, fat, triple-D and flat. They're violent people who hate women, ALL women, not just you. You did NOTHING. Your body did nothing. He was the one with the problem, NOT YOU. He made you feel cheap & worthless, this is why you went through a promiscuous phase.

This is awful that he did this to you, and took the normal joys of adolescence & sexual discovery from you. I agree that you should see a lady doctor who perhaps can help you to put this behind you, and place the blame where it belongs, on the freak, not your body, and then get on with your life. Meds alone will just numb you, not help you to enjoy your life, and the joys that your body can give you in a healthy relationship. Meds have a place in recovering from trauma, but therapy is really what you need, and you should get it.

Good luck, I hope it all works out.

Answer 3

It is unfortunate that an event like this will give you feelings of hatred for yourself. I can not tell whether you becamme promiscuous in an attempt to punish yourself, or to see if other men would still find you attractive when you felt ugly inside.

The first step is to change the thoughts of self hatred into the reality that there are others who do love you. Remember, God loves you too. The molestation can not take that love away.

Your body was not the cause of this event. It is OK to be angry with the pervert, but be gentle with yourself. You didn't provoke the incident. Stop hating yourself, and start to realize that you are the victim, not the perpetrator.

The incedent is in the past, and as long as you hold on to it, you will continue to suffer, and it will cause more harm to you the longer it continues. Let it go as soon as you can.

This is going to sound stupid, considering what has happened to you, but forgive the man. The only reason that I suggest this is that it will be easier to let go. Hatred for yourself and the man will only cause you more pain. (Forgive yourself too.)

Turn to your family and to God. These are a great source of help in your time of need.

Please see the Dr, but don't take the meds. The meds may help for a little while, but over a long period, they can destroy your mind and life.

Answer 4

YES! You don't say exactly how old you were, but I was raped at 9 and the feelings that you feel are normal for what you have been through. I kind of pushed the whole thing out of my mind until I had my baby daughter. When she turned 2, I almost had a breakdown. Fortunately for me I found a good counselor and after about a year, I finally felt free of the demons that haunted me. I relived that experience over and over trying to figure out what I could have done differently - counseling helped me to realize that I didn't do anything wrong. If you don't get some proff help and talk about the incident and work thru the feelings that you have, it will also haunt you and effect every aspect of your life. PLEASE for your sake and the sake of your future husband and family, get help now. I wish I had done it much earlier, I wouldv'e saved both myself and my family a lot of grief. It wasn't until counseling that I began to realize the huge impact it had on the way I felt and the decisons that I made. It is nice to finally be free of that demon within me. He no longer wins, I DO!

Answer 5

I will definitely pray for you. I'm sorry to here about what has happened to you, I think that it would do you some good to talk to some one you trust or the psych Dr. your doctor wants you to see.
I know that I haven't gone through the same experience that you have. When I was little, still in diapers i was molested, and to this day i don't know who did it, all i know was that I went to my dad's for the weekend and it happened while i was there, I still see my dad every so often and it will still creeps me out, I also have gotten attacked by three boys on a buss in elementary school, and to this day am still jumpy and paranoid somewhat of my surroundings. I have some of the feeling's that you have described, What that has not killed us will make us stronger, find strength in God and the people around you, If you want to talk or even ramble ill listen and, give you some feedback.
LAB

Answer 6

You should definitley go and talk, don't turn to meds because that doesn't solve the problem the minute you stop taking them your problem comes back not to mention side effects that come along with the meds. Also talk to someone in your religion or just talk to anyone, any other girl 1 in 5 women have been raped including myself and you have to talk about it to get over it. Also the devil use or weekness against us he knows this has a hold on you and he uses it by keeping it on your mind, next thing you know he will use it to mess up your relationship and when you have kids he will use it to make you paranoid and to make you not trust anyone don't let him do this, GOD has set me free and he will do the same for you. Im sorry that had to happen to you and I will pray for you stay strong girl.

Answer 7

Talk, talk, talk! You can purge so much just by hearing it said aloud and to someone who is really listening. A good therapist can help you clean out the mental attic with very good results. You have so much that has been demolished for you I would do everything I could to work on it. Why should you loose out on lifes enjoyments because of some **%^$#! Drugs don't help if the problem is left intact. Think about taking nothing but pain killers for cancer; only the symptom is treated and only till it gets too much for the meds.
The hole you feel yourselft in will only get deeper without someone's help. Please do it!!

Answer 8

I don't know why rape would make you hate your body. Maybe because of the humiliation and fear that comes along after you've been physically violated.

If I had to make the desision of going on medication or talking about it to get through something like this, I would choose talking about it. For me, medication just subdues the problem rather than just fix it. You seem to have a lot of feelings building up inside of you and medication's not really going to get them out in the open. I don't see why it would hurt to go see this person. Just go to a couple of sessions and if it works out then that's great and if not try and seek a better alternative of getting out that hoel you speak of.

Answer 9

You definitely need to talk, as well as get the meds. Talk therapy is really helpful for the healing process. I know a lot of people feel worried or intimidated about therapy at first, but it's worth the effort of doing it.

I think it's also really helpful that you write to express your feelings. Keep doing that. That will help you a lot too.

Answer 10

The mind is an incredible thing, and it can be programmed in the wrong way through strong emotions. You need some good medical help and get all you can to PRAY for you too!!!!!!(you don't have to tell them why, just ask them to pray for you, GOD LOVE's YOU, and HE knows what you need, but somebody has to PRAY it into this World.) I just prayed for you, and I believe GOD is going to help you find all the help you need.