My sister met this guy that's 6 years younger than her, after they met, they were seeing each other for about two weeks, then they are "friends with benefits" , she really liked him but didn't think it can be a long term relationship cause he's so much younger, they have a lot of differences, but she's sort of obssessed with him. I don't know what the guy was thinking but he and my sis see each other about once a month, and inbetween, both of them see other people as well....
This guy came from a broken family, he sends my sis those messages like he's really sad, and the family f***ed him over... which kind of make my sister feel sorry for him, care about him and want to be there for him, but then he doesn't want to have a serious relationship with her.
I tried to tell my sister stop seeing this guy and don't waste her time, but she says she doesn't mind, cause she doesn't have any one she really love at the moment and feel that she wants to "warm his heart" ....what do u think?
2006-06-07 15:24:56 · 13 answers · asked by Tang Princess 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I love my sister and I want the best for her...I don't want her to get hurt...
2006-06-07 15:38:04 · update #1
My sister seemed to be upset when sometimes she heard about his occasional other girlfriends.....and she gets confused and say "it feels like he just wanted sex, he wouldn't admit it, but it feels like that.."
2006-06-07 15:44:15 · update #2
There really isn't anything you can do. It is up to your sister and the guy she is with as to how far and where this relationship goes.
I have watched my sisters (especially the older one) get involved with some really unsavory characters despite my advice against it. No matter what I said or did my sisters had an answer or a response to justify staying in the relationship. It was as if they were blind to everything. In time I learnt to just let them be to allow them to find out the flaws in their own time.
I learnt to offer emotional support when ever they needed it but to stay out of the whole affair as much as possible, as long as there was not signs of abuse (b/c if there were that was a whole other story).
I trust your sister is an intelligent woman so like my sisters she too will figure out if the relationship is worth it and if it isn't like you have indicated then she'll move on. She just isn't likely to do it in the time you want her to and there is no sense in you going nuts trying to get her to do that. So sit back and let her be if she asks for your opinion or for your support be straight with her. If down the road it ends and your sister is in pieces on the floor help her put her life back together but please don't tell her I told you so.
Relax. She'll figure it out.
2006-06-07 16:36:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 5⤋
If they are both adults, then I think you should let them do their own thing. Maybe they are just friends with benefits, however from what you have said it does seem like they are getting something more then sex from the relationship. But because they are suppose to have this relationship and still see other people, some one is eventually going to get hurt. I know you don't want her to get hurt, but no matter what you say to her she isn't going to listen to you. If she ends up getting hurt then you will just have to be there for her.
2006-06-07 22:43:20 · answer #2 · answered by lee b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your sister? How old is this guy? As long as this guy is over 16 then she's not doing anything that could get her in legal trouble. Anyway, it doesn't sound like your sister is going to listen to what you or anyone else will say--this has got to work itself out on its own. You're right to be concerned that your sister will be hurt, but unfortunately there's not much you can do about it except just be there for her if and when things fall apart. (Or maybe best case scenario, your sister will get tired of this on her own, or meet someone who is worthy of her)
It could be that she's obsessed with him because she's not ready to be in a serious relationship--so she falls for someone its impossible to be in a serious relationship with. If this is the case, it doesn't help to talk about how "wrong" he is, that just helps his "pity poor little me" routine that's working on her. Instead, you could help build her up so she knows she can and should do better....and be with someone she loves instead of feels sorry for.
2006-06-07 22:40:46 · answer #3 · answered by shukuken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that he look up to her as a big sister and don't see her as nothing else because he can always talk to her and she listens but on the other hand she like him more thans a brother.
And onlyyour sister can really make that decision for herself eventually , when she realise what is happening.
2006-06-07 22:39:33 · answer #4 · answered by Angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if what she is doing is right for you but it seems to be right for her. She seems like a caring person and maybe he just needs a friend and someone to lean on. Age doesn't matter unless people make it a big deal. She doesn't seem to care about the age difference, you shouldn't either.
2006-06-07 22:30:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm actually in this same situation right now...I mean, not in YOUR situation, but your sisters. I don't see anything wrong with it. It seems as though both of them know what's going on between them. There's no harm being done.
2006-06-07 22:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by goshimwaycool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really up to your sister, but I agree it is soooo wrong for the both of them, she will never find love if she is with him, and it sounds like he really needs help....
2006-06-07 22:29:04 · answer #7 · answered by sheila c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your sister knows what she is doing. I would let her do her own business.
2006-06-07 22:28:29 · answer #8 · answered by James B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it's your sisters business and she is going to do whatever she wants to do regardless of what you think and just be there for her when she needs you and that's all you can really do.
2006-06-07 22:26:51 · answer #9 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she knows the score of it so don't worry about it..... she is a grown up I take it and so is he....... He could be playing her but then again she is using him too.... they each know about the other ppl in their lives sooooooooo.. just leave it alone....... God bless
2006-06-07 22:29:39 · answer #10 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋