i have sole custody of my daughter and will always be her daddy. i cant help but notice she looks nothing like me. i was tdy in in the air force right about the timeframe of my ex's conception period. my daughter looks very similar to one of the nieghbors/friend taht lived and hung out with us. i look at old pics and it just drives me mad to fill that unknowing. I will always be her daddy but if it comes back neg should i just keep it hush or confront the ex? i am just confused and think knowing would calm me. what do think?
2006-06-07 15:24:16 · 37 answers · asked by Branden T 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i just stumbled on to this page and it has already proven to be totally helpful. my girl will be nine on jun 30 and nothing shall change. u guys are all awesome and thanks
2006-06-07 15:45:31 · update #1
First, I think it is great that you are taking care of your daughter! My husband did the same thing... his ex signed her rights over when baby was 9 months old but was pretty much out of her life as a mother way before then. I am the mommy and I have been with my husband since baby was 6 months old. He has said that if he ever found out that the daughter was not his she wasn't going anywhere! Nothing would be different and he would love her anyway! I agree. Even though she is not biologically my daughter, I love her so much and life would not be the same without her! I think that you should just keep it to yourself so that no one can tell her that you are not her 'father' (if that is the case). If it turns out that you are not, you will have to decide when and if you will tell your daughter... you probably won't want anyone else to do it for you! And you don't want any other trouble. Good luck... I am happy to hear that their are fathers like you and my husband out there!
2006-06-07 16:48:24 · answer #1 · answered by LuckyOne 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have any doubts then yes do look into them!!! But i wouldnt confront her until you have something in your hand to attack her with.If the test does come back to where the child isnt yours,then there are some questions to ask yourself and her.Who is the real father,do you want the father to have a place in the child's life,for financial support or other,etc.Then ask yourself if you even want the child to know yet,or if you even want to continue fathering the child.You would have to get other dna tests done for the fathers,lets hope were only dealing with one other potential father.Then you would have to go to court and figure out custody arrangments.Whatever the case ,keep yourself in neautral,you are the child's only influence,let her know the proper way to act in touchy situations.Be strong for her,then later in the privacy of your own home,break down,cry,yell,scream,get it out,dont bottle it up!I know this is and will be a difficult situation,get the answers you need so it doesnt keep you from loving her like you really want to.I wish you the best of luck,my email is available if you need someone to talk to or further advice.I wish you the best of luck and i pray that the test comes back and the child is yours!!!
2006-06-18 06:05:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you should go and have a dna test done just to soothe your curiousity and to put your mind at ease. It would hurt worse if something was to happen to your daughter and they needed a blood transfusion and you find out that way that you are not the father.
There are so many guys like yourself that get caught up by women they are dating and there ex-girlfriends games they play I think to keep you from getting hurt yes ! you damn right go and get a dna test. Just to prove my point it would be a shame though if I am right that she pulled the wool over your eyes and had you thinking that was your daughter and she was messing around on you. It would both hurt because I was right and It would hurt because of the child.
I don't like to see children in the middle of a mess like this it is one of the reasons we have so many children that don't know who there fathers are and I know this for a fact. So do yourself a favor and listen to your first mind, I know you would feel better and I would feel better just to know that you did do it and I will pray that it comes out negative for the childs sake!
Oh one thing I wouldn't say a thing she didn't say anything to you when she was doing her thing so why should you!
2006-06-07 15:44:09 · answer #3 · answered by beagirl40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's a good idea. It's better to know than to be filled with worry and suspicion. You sound like a wonderful daddy who will love her no matter what.
If you are not the father, the real father should pay child support. However, that could create new problems. Take it one step at a time. If he is the father instead of you, you may want to consult a lawyer to find out your rights.
2006-06-07 15:29:21 · answer #4 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think just for peace of mind you 're doing the right thing. Otherwise not knowing and constantly wondering would drive you insane for who knows how long.
You sound like a very loving dad and I don't think it will make one bit of difference as far as the love you so obviously have in your heart for her. Besides, it's not DNA that makes you a great parent. It's the unconditional love, understanding and support you will give her throughout her life that will set you aside from the possible biological father.
Best of luck to you and I hope the results sway to be true in your favor.
2006-06-20 12:05:20 · answer #5 · answered by Abby2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its a personal choice and if you want to be able to keep the child even if she is not you biological child then i would suggest either canceling the test or keeping it quiet if the results turn out that she's not yours. DNA tests are usually preformed if the father is denying paternity or refusing to pay child support. You are ready willing and able to raise her so why upset the situation. If you end up getting the results i hope you get the answer that you want. Take care and good luck
2006-06-07 15:30:49 · answer #6 · answered by bec 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is a chance that the other man will want to gain custody then wait until she is a little older. But it could be wise to do it sometime because of medical issues that might come up in the future such as being more assessable to certain medical problems.
2006-06-16 22:09:59 · answer #7 · answered by # one 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Genetics doesn't make the family. I'd keep it quiet if you aren't the daddy. If your ex is like mine old man, she'll take your child away because you aren't the daddy... Anything to hurt you. If it will provide you closure then go for it. Just don't tell your daughter or the ex. Regardless of the outcome.
2006-06-15 12:11:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why take the test? You say you will always be her daddy despite whatever results come from the test. Let it rest with htat. Being a father is not being a sperm donor to a conception. it's teh everyday love and guidence one gives a child. Knowing the answer can backfire on you in too many ways. Let her rest in your love.
2006-06-20 04:59:42 · answer #9 · answered by Media Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After scanning the other answers briefly, I wanted to bring up one point that I'm not sure anyone else brought up (if you did, I'm sorry!) I know that she is your daughter, no matter what. You have said that won't change. However, it might be good to know if someone else is her dad just for the medical history. There are many medical issues that are genetic, and as we get more and more medically advanced she may want to know about those so she can detect problems early on.
Good luck to you, and thanks for being such a wonderful dad.
2006-06-20 04:50:58 · answer #10 · answered by KansasSpice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋