My g.friend has a problem
in '88 her n husband met. dating for 4 yrs in highschool. then he left for the A.Force he married a woman that was pregnant @ the time n raised this child as his own. well him n the girl got a divorce n he and my g.friend got back together n married ((here lies her tiff with him)) the child that was left to believe is his is now 12 n my g.friend thinks that she should be told the truth about him not being her daddy. this really didnt start to bother her till they had their own children and doesnt think its fair to the girl not being allowd to know her real father//grandparents that might really want her in their life..
((no the real father was never told that he was a father to a girl, so he never was given a chance to be a daddy to her))
so is it wrong for her to feel that the little girl should be told the truth?
Im a BIG what if?? girl.. what happens when theres a medical problem n its on real fathers side whats gonna happen then?
my vote is NO.
2006-06-07 14:53:51 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I believe every child deserves the truth. Yes it will be hard to handle. But you are right a secret like that if it happens to come out in another way she will really be angry that no one told her the truth. Honesty is always the best policy. I had to do the same thing. My daughter was raised by a man that was not her birth father but it was her daddy and that is what really counts. My daughter is now 19 and she is very thankful that I never lied to her. We teach our children not to lie we need to live by the same example. I wish your friend luck, I know this will not be easy if she decided to be honest
2006-06-07 15:09:17 · answer #1 · answered by flablueeyes67 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Really it is the ex-wife's problem and your friends husbands decision. The only thing ppl can change is themselves. Yes, I believe the child should be told at some point, but maybe at the age of 12, on the brink of teenage years, is not the time to do it. Teenagers have a hard enough time adjusting as it is. Maybe when the child is 18. The only ppl who will be responsible are the two ppl who raised the child. This should have been dealt with a long time ago and is not your friend's fault.
2006-06-07 22:00:06 · answer #2 · answered by ruphalfa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow,that's is a tough one,FIRST,she should have been told the truth long before now,because the truth will eventually come out it always does.And the real father needs to be informed of this child that is by all standards part his( he has the right to know). He should have the choice of weather or not he wants to step in and be apart of his daughters life. And in response to this I have a question to ask. Where is the birth mother and what does she have to say about it?
2006-06-07 22:09:53 · answer #3 · answered by towndrunk91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until the child is older and can have a better understanding about who her Dad is. If there is a medical emergency then contact the real Dad. Only tell the Daughter if absolutely necessary!
Anyone can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a Daddy!!!!!!!!
2006-06-07 22:05:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will come a time when the girl will need to know, but after 12 years the guy has acted as father to this girl, he should not just disappear on her. He should try to give her some kind of regular visits since he is the only father she knows.
2006-06-07 21:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that would be up to both parents of the little girl. Not your girlfriend. Yes, the girl does have the right to know, but only when the time is right. 18, would be a very good age to tell her, 12 she would most likely feel very hurt by it. 18 she would be able to understand a little better.
2006-06-07 22:03:45 · answer #6 · answered by tricksy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who does your friend think will benefit from telling the child about her realy father? At this point, it won't be the child. He is the only father she's ever known. Your friend needs to suck it up and realize that the situation needs to be handled as what is best for the child.
2006-06-07 21:58:49 · answer #7 · answered by tom8o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the maturity of the pre-teen. I wouldn't force the issue. She may ask questions on her own regarding her start in life. In a similar situation myself, my 9 yr old has no idea that the man he calls daddy is not his biologic. The biologic didn't want anything to do with him. I'm waiting for the right time, trusting God will clue me in. Hope this helps.
2006-06-07 22:04:06 · answer #8 · answered by dizzylore62 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the little girl has every right to know her real dad and family. I think that the father should at least be given a chance to know her daughter.
2006-06-07 21:57:36 · answer #9 · answered by Baby_latina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend should back off. It is not up to her to tell the young girl the truth about her father. It is up to the real mom and the man she thinks is her father.
2006-06-07 22:00:38 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋