Should I get out of the wedding?

Question

I am a maid of honor. We are both not from here and worked together plus she said the wedding was going to be a four person show, so I said sure. Now the wedding has turned into this big deal with bridal parties and receptions and since I have gotten to know her better, I do not want to have anything to do with her. Here are some examples:
1. Calls me very late at night repeatedly, drunk, when she knows I get up at 5AM
2. She gets jealous when I talk to other women and once tipped a beer up while someone was taking a drink making it spill all over her.
3. Tells people that she is so much happier then me and mine when people ask her about the age difference between her and her four month beau
4. Tells people that me and mine have issues together and seperate
5. Drinks everyday
6. Lifted up my skirt in a barroom full of people when I was wearing a thong - twice!
7. Flirts with men and tries to make me an accomplice
Should I stick it out or get out now? Wedding is 9/3

This woman is very unstable and I live in a very small town. I do not want to make a scene, but do not want to be associated with her. We are two VERY different people. Help!

I am not gay or bi. I am hetro living with the same man for four years. LOL!

Answer 1

I would just drop all contact with her. If you have caller I.D. and you see her # don't pick up the phone. Eventually even slower people will get the picture on that one!

Answer 2

I would say just show up for the wedding. It's a small town and this issue could have people taking sides. But don't assosciate with ehr any more than you have to--ie dress fitting, etc. Make excuses as to why you can't make the bridal shower or pre-wedding party--you have to work, your mother is coming into town, your little niece is sick . . .

I think she is infatuated with you but is in denial, and lacks the maturity besides, and is quite possibly jealous.

Youre gay? Or bi?? So what, so am I. Don't pay attention to the guy in the first reply; you may very well be happier with a woman than a man. Remember, people are people regardless of gender; and guys are as psychotic as girls.

After the wedding, you can let your "friend" go.

Answer 3

You should never allow someone to hurt you every time they are around you. If you have someone in your life(included family) that leaves you bleeding all the time it is more than OK to put a period on that relationship and protect yourself. You have ever right and should pull out now while you still can. Take someone with you as a non-biased view of either of you, and tell her at this point you will have to bow out of the wedding for personal reasons. Don't let her push you into going into what those problems are. Should she try and push, simply tell her, this is her big day and you don't want anything to spoil it for her. Should she really push, hold your ground about not being in it, then tell her some of the things she done(in front of your witness). When and if someone asks why you won't be in the wedding, tell them you've had something very personal come up, should they push, tell them"your mom always told you..if you couldn't say something nice, then don't speak. That should make it pretty clear for even the dumbest. Don't say anything to her back you wouldn't say to her face. And be careful, always have a witness if you have to deal with face to face. Never put anything in writing, you don't won't to see on the front page on a small town newspaper.

Answer 4

It seems that it would be difficult to get out of the situation, but maybe you could do some things differently in the meantime that might help.

Turn your ringer off at night before you go to bed.

Don't go out to the bar with her anymore, unless you bring your boyfriend. If you do go out, don't wear a thong under your skirt, wear full coverage or boy short panties instead. Or just wear pants.

Let her and others know that you are very happy in your relationship and in general, and that you have no idea where she gets the idea that you are unhappy.

If you are having problems in your relationship, don't talk to her about it. Don't even mention any slight annoyances. Instead, you might want to talk about how great things are going and how wonderful your boyfriend really is.

Make an excuse to leave the social situation when she starts flirting, or start talking about her wedding, or your boyfriend, or just be rude.

Tell her that you were thinking about going to some AA meetings, and ask her if she wants to go with you.

Maybe you can find a replacement who would want to be in her wedding. Doesn't she have any other friends?

Or you could just talk to her about the problems, and let her know that if she keeps treating you this way, that you aren't going to want to be in her wedding.

Answer 5

Now, that decision is totally up to you, you did make the commitment. But on the other hand with this and any friend you have to weigh the good to the bad. What does she bring to the relationship? Is it one way? Does her behavior get in the way of your personal, emotional or spiritual growth? If so, cut her loose. Sometimes a relationship can take More than it can give back.

Answer 6

I'd tell her to pi$$ off. Do not pass go and do not colect $200.

If you both live in this small town and you're a decent person, and most people know you, then those people will (should be) able to intelligently differentiate between you and a jacka$$ like her.

Answer 7

Enter the witness protection program. Move to Canada. Colonize Mars. Just get this lady out of your life as soon as possible. She sounds like a walking train wreck.

Answer 8

I would go through with the wedding but limit social activities with her in the meantime. After the wedding, I'd cut all ties. She's pretty pathetic, but you'll be seen as the petty one because she will no doubt be the first to bad mouth you.

Answer 9

just stop talking to her and she'll ask you to not be in the wedding. By the sounds of this girl. She will probably call you names out in public when she is drunk. She'll call your boyfriend and tell him you did a bunch of stuff that she really did with other guys. She will probably pick fights with you out in public. It might be safer to just deal with her until the wedding, and then just phase yourself out of the picture.

Answer 10

You need to sit down with her and discuss your concerns openly and honestly. Explain that you feel that you two have grown in separate directions. It's time to Just say No.