What is the best method for teaching my toddler to stop having tantrums?

Question

My 2 year old girl has horrendous tantrums - what are some ideas to help get past this stage quicker.

Answer 1

I know, it is easier said then done, but you need to ignore her when she is throwing one of these tantrums. Also, what a lot of people end up doing is giving them something or giving in to them when they throw a fit. You need to make sure you don't do this. I know, it is really hard to sit and listen to your child throw a fit, but if you just ignore her she will stop after a while.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I have a two year old son, and I have found the best thing to do when you see her starting to "fume up" is to distract her. Read her a book. Point to something outside. Feed her a snack. Most of the time, I think, it stems from not getting enough attention (in their opinion).
Once your toddler is already throwing her fit, tell her in a calm voice, even if you think she can't hear you over her own screams, that you are doing "this" for "this or that reason", that way, even though she's not getting her way, at least now she knows WHY she is not getting her way. I would also have to agree with the other answerer who said just ignore, to a certain extent. Certainly there are times where you just can't ignore her, especially in public places, but just grin and bear it until you get to the bathroom/car. Then tell her the punishment AND THEN FOLLOW UP ON THE PUNISHMENT, whatever it is. The punishment has to be IMMEDIATE and consistant. Good luck, and remember, this doesn't last long! :)

Answer 3

QUICKER??? NEVER HAPPEN!! Try to talk calmly-don't yell. Get her attention and give her the choice of 2 things to do or eat or play with (whatever the situation). Sometimes you can steer her away from that by playing on the floor (her level) in a silly way and hope she laughs. If she does, give her hugs and hope the good mood last for a few more minutes. Also, don't give her all her toys at once. When she is getting in her MOOD, introduce another toy. She is 2 and you have to live thru it. Then there is 3,4,5,6,7,....then the teenage years. Did you think you could avoid it?? Good luck, this too shall pass.

Answer 4

My 18 month old start with the tantrums a couple weeks ago, I don´t leave her alone or something, I hold her and talk to her about what she is doing is wrong and that she can´t get what she wants because is not good and at the same time I start distracting her with someting else, so far is working but of course she is not in the terrible 2s yet!!!

Answer 5

throw a tantrum right along with her. Especially in public. Do this just once and she will think twice before doing it again. My sister done this to her son inside wal-mart and he stopped, looked around all embarassed and walked the other way! That was about 3 years ago and he hasn't done it since.

Answer 6

Try not to react when she does it. Let her throw her tantrums and don't give in to her. If she knows that she'll get what she wants by having a tantrum, she'll keep doing it. I tell my two year old son (on the rare occasion that he has one), to go ahead and get it out of his system because it's not going to get him anywhere. Saying this is more for myself to help me deal with it, but it works. He has his fit, gets over it, and moves on. I realize all kids aren't that easy but it works. Remember, they are two years old and seeking independence...this is normal.

Answer 7

I agree with the ignore approach and just want to add some details on how I do these...

If she throws one because she want something that I happen to think she should/could have, tell her that I will give it to her when she stops screamming and asks properly (I had my sons do the 'please' sign). I would praise her when she does. Afterall, she is just 2 years old, it is not easy for them, even us, to control temper...

If she throws one because you take something away from her. Tell her why you need to do it and tell her when she could have it back, if it applies. If it is a consequence of something she did, I would remind her that too. Also, I would let her know that I would be able to help her with something else when she calms down. Then, just let her do it in a safe place.

And, of course, whenever possible, prevent the tantrums. I am sure you heard that kids are irritable when they are hungry or tired. So, I tend to adhere to what they want more easily at those times, before they get into the screamming mode.

I also have a little rule of thrumb: When I need to have them do something that they don't like, I would try my best to make it their choice. If I want to do something that they like (to make my life easier), I would try my best to make it sounds like my decision (not a result of their whinning).

For example, if you need her to leave the park (or go to bed). I would tell her in advance and let her decide, say, "It is getting late and we would have to leave soon. Would you like to leave in 3 minutes or 5 minutes?" Also, remind them that it was their decision.

Or, say, if I got stuck in traffic with the kids and they will be hungry or tired very soon. I will offer them snacks or even treats before they ask for it. For me, at this age, it is more important for them to know who is in charge than how much treats they could have.

Well, this is my own ideal. I could not do this all the time but I just try my best. I always remind myself, this is what it counts... trying our best.

Good luck.

Answer 8

First of all, make a habit of NEVER giving in to a tantrum. Even if they're screaming for broccoli. (yeah right!) Then when they start up either sit them down without talking to them and walk away. Don't even make eye contact with the child. Give them two minutes to cool down (one minute per year of age) and reenter and ask if they're ready to talk like a big kid now. The key is to not join in with anger; it only fuels their fire.

Answer 9

Don't react to the tantrums. It is hard sometimes to do that, especially in public. But the child will eventually give up and stop.

Answer 10

Is you two year old talking? If she is not she may be frustrated because of lack of communication you can try teaching her some baby signs for things like more , change ( diaper) My 13 month girl can tell me if she wants milk or more food which lets me know exactly why she is upset