My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. We tell each other we love each other and talk about getting married some day. I have our own places but stay together everynight.
I love being with him and doing things together. Recently, he's been promoted at his job and now we work opposite hours. Throughout our relationship I have always had issues with letting him go out after he gets off of work. Reason being, by the time he gets off, I have already been off for hours, trying to occupy my time until he gets off. I have full trust in him and feel secure in our relationship, but I have a problem being alone. I'm scared that it's going to ruin our relationship. What can I do to not care so much when he wants to do something? I have friends, but they're still in college and go to bars all the time when I work full time..? My boyfriend is so sweet and I love him so much. Please help me, I need your advice! Married couples- how do you do this?!
2006-06-07 12:01:34 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm fine while I'm at work, but when I get off, I'm bored without him. We used to always go do stuff when we got off and I'm not used to the change. The problem is that when he finally gets off (usually at 12 or later) he wants to go to a bar and play pool with a friend (no harm)... but I feel neglected since I have been at home all that time. He's not doing it to be mean, but just to relax after work. I just have a hard time dealing with that.
2006-06-07 12:13:14 · update #1
I takes some getting use to when schedule changes make your relationship change. My bf and I use to see each other for a couple of hours a day, everyday. Now, because of work and his other obligations after work, I'm lucky if I see him during the week.
Spending time apart is just as important as spending time together. Get a new hobby or spend more time with your friends. Just because you have a full time job doesn't mean that you can't go out and party with them once on a week night.
Being apart during the week will make your time together more special. It just takes time to get use to it.
2006-06-21 08:17:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make plans to meet him after work at the club, also sense he got promoted he should be able to figure out a way you and him can get 1 day off a week so just you and him can spend some quality time together. Good luck hope everything works out for you.
2006-06-21 06:58:15 · answer #2 · answered by apache672004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all you tell him this be straight up and honest. Secondly if you trust him he should be allowed to go out unless he does this all the time then this is a problem. If he does this all the time he needs to realize from you telling him that his bar days arent over but you love him and want him home with you but if your afraid of "being alone" then you have bigger problems you need to get professional help with...thats not a bad thing and usually will help your marriage/relationship more then you know,.
2006-06-07 12:12:22 · answer #3 · answered by answerboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am married...i do not work but my husband is in the military..he is at work all day and i am at home...i dont go any where or do anythingexcept clean the house and cook, because i know no one in this town, i have only lived here a short while, so i know what you are going through as far as trying to occupy your time....but you have to understand that he wants to go out and not be at home all the time, maybe you can suggest going out with him...not all the time but some of the time...
2006-06-21 06:37:11 · answer #4 · answered by my_lttle_devil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does sound like a problem. But I would find something that would keep you mind off him going out. Find something you can do. One thing for sure this will not change when you do get married. So if this is how it will be you have to find time to fill up while he is out.
2006-06-17 15:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by tannya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u plan on being married, then the fact is, you will have to be alone a lot becuz both of u have jobs. When u feel alone keep a picture of u and him somewhere near you, whether it be a locket, or a photo in ur wallet. that ways, when you miss him, look at the photo. jobs will not get in ur way, if u guys relally LOVE each other!!!!!!!
2006-06-07 12:07:23 · answer #6 · answered by Lavender L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're smothering him. You'll lose him if you continue to be be so clingy. Find other friends, develop other interests, play on-line, but DON'T depend upon him to be there for you 24/7. The fastest way to lose a relationship with a guy is to give him no space.
2006-06-21 08:25:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say find a new hobby!! guys have a way of freaking out on us when they think we are being too needy and dependent on them!! so I'd say, don't let him see you as needy and totally dependent on him for a social even if you have to invent one!!
on the other hand, he should be happy to spend time with you sometimes instead of going out with friends!!!
Talk to him about it or better still suggest going out to places more often and don't leave it up to him all the time. it will be a different case if he always says no to you when you want to hang out with him!!!
2006-06-20 02:51:33 · answer #8 · answered by cassandra b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you are smothering him he isnt something you own that makes you the boss let him go out with his friends you seem to be occuping your time by been on the net if you dont stop been so controlling you will lose him cause he will feel tied down if you are doing this now boy i feel sad for him if he does ever marry you
poor guy
2006-06-07 12:06:24 · answer #9 · answered by silvereagle1125 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get your hours switched around at work to kind match his, that way you can spend a little time with him. Sorry if my advice doesnt work. I hope everything works out with the two of u.
2006-06-21 10:55:40 · answer #10 · answered by rebelchic_0308 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋