Should I be mad at my mom?

Question

She didnt come to my fith grade graduation because she didnt take a shower because of the baby!She was playing with the baby!(the babys 5 weeks old)She was crying a little,but she said she didnt have time!IT was at 9:00
We got to school about 8:30!It takes her about 30min. to get ready.

i'm 12. not five!I'm almost out!I'm only in fith cuz of my birthday!

The baby gets all of the attention!Its all about her!My grandma comes over and likes her!Thats why she comes over so muck!Shes five weeks old!

She wont talk to me!Shes telling everyone,That i am too mody and shouldnt be mad!Like i'm a *****!!!A mother should not say that!

Why cant I be mad at the baby?Its her faukt!She was crying!Mom said she can sense things!How come she cant sense that?

Answer 1

YOU SHOULD NOT BE MAD AT THE BABY YOU SHOULD BE MAD AT YOUR MOM ITS NOT THE BABYS FAULT.. IF YOU MOM WANTED TO REALLY GO TO THE GRADUATION SHE WOULD HAVE BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE DIDNT... I WOULD BE MAD AT MY MOM NOT THE BABY

Answer 2

Yes, you are an individual person, and everyone is entitled to their own feelings. If you get angry it is okay. Anger is a normal emotion that everyone feels at some time or another.
Personally, I would be very angry with my mom, too, if she didn't come to my graduation. Your achievement should have been recognized and honoured.
Unfortunately, your mom is only human and she is making mistakes. What she did was blame the baby instead of taking responsibility. By blaming the baby she is driving a wedge between you and the baby. That is not healthy for you or the baby, because it may prevent you from having a close relationship with your sibling.
What will happen in the end depends on your reaction to your anger. First, never physically act out on your anger, like by hitting. There are many coping methods people use when they get mad, like : running around the block, counting backwards from 100 to 0 before speaking, deep-breathing excercises, etc. You need to pick one that works for you.
Next, you need to let your mom know that you feel like she neglected your needs. I agree with you that she did. Do not pout or yell ....... act responsibly.
Parents make mistakes sometimes. Your mom may not realize how much you were hurt. If you are honest and respectful to her, she may understand your feelings.
I had the same problem with my older sister getting all the attention. I was not wise enough to talk it over with my parents and I kept my feelings bottles up. That was a bad idea, too.
Talk, talk, talk about this to your mom. Communication will be your friend.Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Wow! thats pretty bad, but was there anyone else close like Dad or Grandma who could have gone to such a special event out of concern for you on your special day, or perhaps baby sit the new baby? WEll on the other hand,babies that young do need special attention, and most Mothers will not leave a 5 week old baby with just anyone,plus, Mothers are pretty tired during the the first 6 to 8 weeks after giving birth to baby, so please remember you were once a baby, and I`m sure your Mom and other family members spent a lot of time pampering you,and probably missed some pretty special engagements to care for you, so please forgive Mom and know this........ babies grow up don`t they?

Answer 4

Been there, done that. Grats on the graduation. Listen. When I was your age, crap like that would have made me lose my mind and I would be all jealous and would feel like shes forgotten all about me and that this baby means more than me now, yadayadayada.

Erm, I have an 11 month old now and when she was 5 weeks old... you would have had to pay my butt to go out, I was that tired.
Yes its unfair and yeah its kind of a crappy thing for your mom to do.

1. your 12, welcome to being a preteen and puberty, moodiness comes with that territory and this just mean you are growing up. so your mom should understand that you are going to be moody from time to time.

2. Your mom pushed something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a quarter a lil over a month ago. Not only that but shes got haromones going crazy and god forbid the postpartum period is hell because shes having to juggle everything and is prolly exhausted.
Give her a break, if not, when you have kids one day you'll understand.

3. Its normal to be jealous and angry at the baby, but remember, what did the kid do to you? Its helpless. and with out your mother it would die.

I may seem harsh, but Im not trying to be, talk to your mom, tell her how you feel. Dont throw a fit, whine, yell, etc. Just say, mom, you really let me down not coming to my graduation. I think you care more about the baby than me.
You may be surprised at what she will try to do to show you that you matter to her.

Answer 5

Babies are inconsiderate because that's all they know right now. But it is not the babies fault. Babies needs alot of attention. Not to say you don't deserve any because you most defiantly do but at the same time you are the oldest and should understand the difference.
It is your mother's responsibility to make sure you both are equally loved. I think she may be overwhelmed a little but she is the adult and provider, I don't think she is being fair by making those comments.
You need to sit her down wih a third party. Maybe your father, close relative or maybe even a neighbor that is close to your family. Be sensible and mature about the situation. Let her know you feel left out but don't ever blame the baby, remember the baby is still developing.

Answer 6

You have every right to be upset with your Mom. Regardless of the baby crying she should have seen how important to you it was for her to be at your graduation. You should talk to her calmly and explain that youre feeling like Your being treated as though you and your feelings are less important. You shouldnt blame the baby though, Its not its fault, Your Mom made the choice not to go, and she may be dismissing your feelings because she knows she made a mistake and feels guilty. Sometimes adults make bad choices too, and some adults still havent learned how to admit they're wrong and apologize. I know it meant alot to you that she was there to see that, but talk to her and try to be open and forgiving and remember we all make bad choices sometimes. Ask her if maybe she could make it up to you by spending a whole day or afternon just the two of you, have grandma watch the baby. Do something you both enjoy and spend time together. It sounds like youre feeling a little neglected since the new baby and your mom may be to pre-occupied to notice, you have to tell her. calmly though, if you have a tantrum or shout shes less likely to be receptive.Just tell her you may be 12 but you still need special time just with her and you miss her, Im sure she will understand. Good luck.

Answer 7

I don't think you should be mad. I know you're disappointed that she missed it, and she really shouldn't have, however, a new baby needs a lot of attention, and that's why your mom didn't have time to shower. She's not going to leave the baby if she is crying. Don't let it get to you...enjoy your baby sister and don't hold a grudge - it will only cause more problems in the long run. And congrats on graduation!!

Answer 8

You can be mad if you want. Let her know that you would have appreciated her presence there and that you are sad and frustrated that she didn't come.

Don't be mad for too long, you can't change what other people do.

Babies take a lot of work and care--she loves you a lot and may not have enough time to show you right now. Help out with laundry, dishes, vacuuming or taking out the trash without being asked and that will help your mom a lot.

Answer 9

You can't replace your mother. Don't be jealous of the baby. Your mother may be distracted by the baby but only because it needs her more right now. Thank God that she is still living and you can be breathing and joining in conversation with her. I lost my mother back in 1969. God knows that I still miss her. We did get along with each other very well. You have a tremendous opportunity to spend time with your mother, helping her in talking with and assisting her. Take this time to figure out what you can do to make life easier for mom. You will thus make your life better. You have to give to receive. You sound like you have a serious head on your shoulders. Read Psalm 35 to (Plead My Cause) and God will address your concerns appropriately. Then read Psalm 4 for (Safety and Protection) against undue occurrences in this world. Remember this, "If God be for us, who can be against us?" - Romans 8:31. Peace and God Bless.

Answer 10

I'm sorry your mother missed your graduation, and I know it hurts, but you must also think of not only a 5 week old baby but of other people as well. Lets go to graduation with a "fussy baby" The baby is squirming and crying and there are other people around your mother that are trying to hear their sons and daughters names being called, and trying to enjoy a special time over the crying and fussing of a baby. Its not fair to you for her to have missed the graduation, but its not fair to her or the other people around her if the baby is squirming and crying and they cant enjoy the time either. I can't say it should hurt any less but as for being mad at your mom...NO you shouldn't. I believe she truly was thinking of other people at then time to include you...

Answer 11

It sounds to me like you are a little jealous of the baby. A new baby takes attention, and time. Imagine if you were 5 weeks old and couldn't lift a finger to do anything for yourself. I am not trying to lay a guilt trip on you, but chill out. YOu said you were twelve. Why didn't you volunteer to baby-sit for a while so she could get ready? To be honest, it sounds to me like you are kinda spoiled. You are not the baby anymore.