I have had the talk with her, she knows about all the protection available, and I completely trust her. But, my problem is, she is so trusting and innocent, that I'm worried any boy she dates will be able to talk her into anything. Also, I am strict with my children on where they go and when they are to be due back and hourly check ins. But I work all day. I have family available when I am unable to be there when they need to check in. I don't want to give her permission to have sex, but I also don't want her to be a mother at 15. Any ideas, besides a chastity belt with a dead bolt?
2006-06-07 11:36:43 · 18 answers · asked by Staci G 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You sound like a really switched on mother, no doubt you'll get lots of people leaving answers all " no no don't do that, bad mother! etc". I think you're being practical. Your children will have sex whether you like it or not, wheter its something they're pressured into, or something they want to try. All teenagers experiment, try new things, and i think you're being smart making sure she'll be safe if this does happen.
My mother did much the same with me when i was a teen, she educated me about sex, brought me books on the subject, covered everything, pregnancy, stds etc. Then she put me on the pill as a precaution. because she full well knew at some stage, maybe not that year, i would have sex. Once I did become sexually active, she insisted that if i was to have sex, to do it at home, where at least she knew i was safe, and not in a bush, or the backseat of some car. She took alot of flak for that, but i see it as being safe, and caring for my safety. i was never allowed to just bring random guys home, it had to be someone i had been dating for months, that had spent alot of time with us in our home, that she felt actually did care for me.and vice versa. I was 15 when all this happened also, 16 is the legal age in my country. When i did have sex it was SAFE SEX. And i never had my first baby till i was 25, so i guess she did well.
I applaud your practicality.A child that is well educated on sexual matters is lesslikely to get in "trouble". Reading alot of the questions posed, i cringe. So many young people are uneducated on sexual matters. You're a great mom. Keep those lines of communication and honesty open and im sure you'll have a daughter to beproud of.
2006-06-07 11:52:50 · answer #1 · answered by mandy n 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont put her on the pill, thats just condoning sex. But I think there is a bigger problem. You need to let go. Hourly check in? Thats a little much. You say you complete trust her, but I dont think you trust her at all. If you did you would just know the w's (who,what,when,where and why) other than that is not allowing your daughter to be herself. I bet she is no fun to go out with, she is probably too scared to do anything halfway fun because of you. Give her a break. Too tight with the apron strings can lead to a rebellion later.
2006-06-07 12:15:36 · answer #2 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a toss up on one hand you want her not to get pregnant even though she says she isn't having sex but on the other hand putting her on the pill kinda gives her the OK to start having sex its like a green light that says go ahead knock yourself out then there could always be the possibility she is lying to you about having sex because she doesn't want you to know and if you don't put her on the pill and she gets pregnant then you will really start cursing yourself oh and i think chastity belts are coming back into fashion hahaha ask her what she feels talk to her about it make her understand that if she goes on the pill that its just for a precaution not a green light to drop your drawers good luck you could always just sit on the couch with a shotgun when her dates come over and have a nice talk with them that always is a good method of birth control :)
2006-06-07 11:48:29 · answer #3 · answered by raven1971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pill can cause MAJOR health problems. Being on it more then 10 years increases cancer risk also. I get annoyed with mom's who wanna rush and put young women on it. IT IS HORMONES it is KNOWN to increase DEPRESSION. Teens have hormone issues anyway WHY make it worse. It can cause very unpleasant side effects. If she Say's she not having sex TRUST her!. Getting them on the pill is saying you don't trust her and it's okay to have sex. A young women may feel less a need to use condoms on the pill putting her at higher risk of STD or aids. I fully understand not wanting a teen pregnancy but, there are other options. TALK to your kids and be involved in their lives. READ up on the dangers of the pill and other hormone Birth control options. I would not put my daughter on birth control unless SHE CAME to me about it and was for it!.
2006-06-07 11:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by mandie_darkness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 17 and my mom did the samething with me because she used to work alot and she trusted me but she just wanted to be careful because she can't be there to hold my hand all the time.But i say is wouldn't be a bad thing to do and the also give out free condoms at plan parenthood also. I say do it because even tho u trust her peer pressure is another thing and thats how most teens end up having sex by being pressured into. Better safe than sorry.
2006-06-07 11:58:41 · answer #5 · answered by damn_that_chick_thick17 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that it would be a bad idea to put her on the pill. I have a little sister that told our mom that she was not having sex but while talking to me just things that he said made me fill that she might be or at least close to it. Get Her use to taking them before she starts to be sure that she is on the right thing for he if you have time to try different types before you are worried about her getting preg then it will be easier for her to find the one that will be best for her. I was very happy that i took my sister to get on them she later told me that she had had sex but was scared to tell my mom cause she didn't want her to be disappointed in her i got preg at 16 and they pressed it in to her not to do the same thing i married the guy that got me preg and we have been together or 9 yrs and are very happy.
2006-06-07 12:20:24 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing she knows she is not on the pill will make her be sure to not get in a compromising situation.
If she is on the pill, she will be human and think -- "Why not, I'm protected!".
I have three daughters, all adults now, and they knew they had to behave because there would be no birth control pill backing them up. Only one daughter became pregnant out of wedlock but married him later.
Don't give her the means to do wrong.
2006-06-07 11:45:00 · answer #7 · answered by Cynda 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have that kind of a relationship with your daughter talk to her about the responsibilty of having sex and of having kids. If there is a medical reason for her to be on the pill, then put her on it. But otherwise you are kind of asking for trouble. Although I wish now that I had been on it when I was a teen because I made that choice for myself to have sex and I got pregnant at 16. Tell her that you would prefer for her to wait until marriage to have sex, but if she ever makes that choice for herself to please come to you first so you can take her to the doctor.
2006-06-07 11:44:46 · answer #8 · answered by Maw730 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can't hurt her to put her on the pill. Just make sure she knows it doesn't mean she can just start having sex. Make sure she knows about everything you can get from sex besides getting pregnant. Plus it can make her time of the month more regular and lighter. I would reccomend it just as a safety precaution if nothing else.
2006-06-07 11:40:19 · answer #9 · answered by allknowing 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i was 16 when i got on the birth control shot. (i done it own my own) My mom was glad i did and it showed her i was not stupid in possibly getting pregnant young like that.
Most all teenagers and i know this to be true when they say they are not having sex they are.
And if you go and put her on birth control that is not saying go and screw this one and that one. It's not.
It is better safe than sorry. If i were you or if i had a teenage daughter that age i would be going ahead and putting her on birth control cause i wouldn't want to be raising my kid's kid.
I am 26 year old so it wasn't that long ago when i first started having sex. I am married to the one who took my virginity and we have been together now for 11 years and have a 4 year old son alot don't work out like me.
I know how boys are at that age they keep on and on asking for sex. Once this one guy i was dating (nothing happened) he was pulling my shorts off and it took everything i had in me to pull them up. We were at my moms house and i told him if you dont stop i am going to holler for my mom well he stopped.
But what i am trying to say when they beg and go on about it to you it is like you will eventully lay down for them.
I did for the one who i am married to. He kept telling me just let me put a lil bit of it in and i will stop if it hurts or you are making me have blue balls and it is hurting. Anything to get to have sex with you.
And i have heard this one to "i can't get you pregnant" or the condom makes me not feel anything.
Some girls can be talked in to this sord of things and even though i believe someone that young 15 shouldn't be having sex with all kinds of people if they are with their boyfriend, someone they really love then i think they should be on birth control.
Don't feel like you are telling your daughter here i am putting you on birth control and giving you condoms now run out and have tons of sex.
That is not the message. The message is if you are going to have sex atleast you won't become pregnant or catch a nasty std or even aids.
If your daughter is going to have sex she will whether you say so or not or whether your home or not.
Some will sneak out of the house. Most girls are not going to tell their mom they are having sex no matter how close you are to them.
If you do put her on birth control she doesnt need to tell everyone cause yes they will think she is easy but i would rather be on birth control then be a teenage mom.
Good luck to you
2006-06-07 11:57:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋