I recently went to an out-of-state wedding of a relative. I accepted the offer to be a bridesmaid but 3 weeks before the wedding the bride informed me that I was going to be the maid of honor because the original girl had a baby. I had no choice but I informed the bride that I was going to do my hair and makeup myself because I couldn't afford to get it done. I had just paid for my plain tickets, hotel, dress, and shoes. The night of the rehearsal dinner the bride informed me that she made a hair appointment for me, herself, and her mom. She said it like I had no choice. I ended up paying $50 for a hairdo that I could have (easily) done in my hotel room and without a nagging, non-gentle hairstylist. I told her I didn't want to get my makeup done after that and she was upset.
Was I a jerk for not want to get my makeup done as well? She didn't force any of the other bridesmaids to get hair/makeup done. Also, her gift to the bridesmaids were $5 pearl necklaces from Claire's.
2006-06-07 10:33:18 · 26 answers · asked by Ilovepeanutbutter 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
About the $5 necklaces...I feel like she expected so much out of me (financially) but went really cheap on her gifts to the bridesmaids. I know it shouldn't matter because it was a gift, but I can't help but think it was a little unfair.
2006-06-07 10:44:38 · update #1
honestly, i think that the bride and groom should be paying for things like the dress and hair if she wants everyone to look the same. I think it was unfair that she forced you to get it done when she was already informed that you couldnt.
as to the present she gave you...all i can say is wow..
"wedding in a sht hole"..lol
2006-06-09 13:37:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Im a Bridesmaid next week, my best friend moved to Australia 5 years ago, shes come back to England to get wed as her family etc still live here, She dont have much money for the wedding so I offered to buy my own dress, shoes, shawl,flowers, I was so honoured she would ask me to be Bridesmaid, whats money anyway? I shall be paying for my hair/nails and make up to be done aswell. Im over the moon Im Involved In her big day. Weve been friends since we were 7, were 36 now....I would happily spend a million to have special memories of a day with my friend!!
2006-06-07 11:13:42 · answer #2 · answered by tracietuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you was not a jerk. she was very inconsiderate for just springing her last minute changes on you. She should have realized her situation and had the same consideration for whatever may be going on in you life. If she is made then she should be made a her previous MOH. Where I come from the MOH and bridesmaids pay for all of their own stuff, even hair and make up. And for future reference the MOH position was not supposed to recieve the same gift as the bridesmaids, KEYWORD being maid-of-HONOR. If she spent $5 on the bridesmaids, then your gift should have at least cost $25.
Don't worry its done and over now. You now know who and what you are related to.
2006-06-07 10:45:31 · answer #3 · answered by Callie W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I started reading this I thought "Heck yeah!" you're supposed to pay for your hair and makeup done professionally. But after reading farther, if you already told her that you couldn't afford to do it and she went ahead and made you an appointment, she should have been the one paying!!!!! That is just rude and very "bridezilla". No, you weren't a jerk for not getting your makeup done....she should have totally understood about the hair and makeup since you dished out money for airfare and hotel on top of the dress and shoes! She sounds very ungrateful. And yes, her gifts to the girls were TACKY.
2006-06-07 11:57:30 · answer #4 · answered by bluez 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's right that she demanded for you to pay for the hair stylist and makeup. She could have suggested it, or paid for it herself or paid for part of it. I don't think you're being a jerk for feeling the way you do. Her gift was not appropriate either. My friend that is getting married on the weekend is giving her bridesmaids a gift certificate for a pedicure, paying for thier make up and giving them jewellry that I made and it was not cheap. I guess each to their own but don't feel bad for feeling the way you do.
2006-06-07 15:45:57 · answer #5 · answered by JenniD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal for the girls to pay for all of their "beauty needs". But it is really the bride's decision. In your case I could understand, but being that you accepted the role of Maid of Honor, you really shouldn't have disputed getting your makeup done on the day of the wedding. Brides are fragile as it is, no need to refuse someone like that on a day that is so stressful.
I think that the necklaces were a little chincy, but weddings are expensive events. She might have had to pay for a huge chunk of something...even if her parents were footing the bill.
If you are really all that upset with her....talk to her....truthfully about it all. You might not know all the details.
For future reference, you should try your hardest not to ruffle the feathers of the bride....the day is hard enough already without people going against her wishes.
2006-06-07 12:02:54 · answer #6 · answered by irishcreaminator83 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i have never heard of a bride making her bridesmaid pay to get her hair and make-up done, and my family owns a photography business... From what i have learned the bride and groom pay for the whole thing, you were not rude for not wanting your make -up done you obviously have a budget that you are on and she should have understood that. my belief is that if you cant afford a lavish wedding you shouldn't be getting married. weddings are expensive but it is rude to have a guest pay especially when it breaks the bank..
2006-06-07 11:05:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She probably thought she was doing you a favor by making the appointment, maybe thinking that you didn't know any stylists in the area and were doing your own hair because of that.
And would it have been OK if you'd gotten a better gift?
One of the jobs of maid of honor is to be gracious.
2006-06-07 10:37:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding and she paid for everything. Then I was the maid of honor at my best friend's wedding. She paid for my gown but I took care of my hair and makeup. As for her bridesmaids, they paid for the gown and the bride paid for their hair and makeup.
No you weren't a jerk for telling her that you didn't want your makeup done, since you paid the dress and etc. She was lucky to have you fill in as maid of honor and as thank you for it being short noticed, she should have paid for your makeup.
2006-06-07 10:40:17 · answer #9 · answered by scarlett_038 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I could see why the bride would want to go all out, after all it is her special day. However, I would not have spent the extra money; especially when I can do my hair and make-up just as good by myself.
2006-06-07 10:41:48 · answer #10 · answered by roxy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋