English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

my 19 year old lives away from us we pay for his apartment and his food yet he does not answer our calls or emails what is wrong with him

2006-06-07 10:12:48 · 8 answers · asked by maggie 1 in Family & Relationships Family

8 answers

Send an email or leave a voice message telling him you won't be paying for his apartment or food any more. I bet you will hear from him then.

2006-06-07 10:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Unfortunately, you need to find out why. But when you ask, be ready for the answer. The problem may be you. Or he may be doing something he really doesn't want your feedback on.

When you do talk, what do you talk about? Are you constantly questioning him or telling him what he needs to do? This is a guaranteed turn off for a 19 year old. You may be paying for his apartment, etc, but he is living on his own on a day to day basis. If conversations with his parents mean he is being treated like a 12 year old again, he would likely react the way you describe.

The second possibility is that he may be out partying all night, or engaging in other behavior he really doesn't want you to know about.

The third is that he's just being an inconsiderate jerk.

Possibilities two and three come with the same recommendation. Pull the plug and tell him if he can't stand to have some contact with you then he can pull his own weight in the world. This is real life, and sheilding a child from this will not help. Bosses, spouses, etc will not put up with this kind of crap, and he needs to figure it out NOW.

If you raised him right, he'll eventually figure it out. Some kids just have to take the tough path. If he won't answer calls or e mail, you need to pay him a visit and find out which one it is....and then lay out the ground rules for continued support from you. He doesn't have to like them. Money from someone else that is unearned (i.e. given instead of in payment for goods and services) has strings attached. If he doesn't want the strings, he gets to do without the cash. It's as simple as 2+2.

Good luck.

2006-06-07 10:26:56 · answer #2 · answered by cliffinutah 4 · 0 0

I don't think that anything is wrong, but he needs to realize that he is not totally independent until he is feeding himself... he owes you a phone call at the least once a week for providing him somewhere to sleep...geesh!

2006-06-07 10:23:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

drugs??? i don't know, just don't try too hard to get him to talk to you...he'll get annoyed and just totally block you out! if u pay for his apartment and he won't even talk to you then i'd say you definatly have some problems, but since you're paying for the apartmen then you must know where it is...just happen to be in the neighborhood one day and stop in and say hello...check out his place and check up on him...to make sure he's not smokin' pot or nething...u no...getting high or any other bad stuff like that!!! and if he continues to not talk and totally avoid you, then i'd say u just stop paying for all his crap...bet he'll talk then!!!

2006-06-07 10:18:43 · answer #4 · answered by artsy indie chick 2 · 0 0

i think he wants independence. And if it's independence he wants, give him independence right down to paying his own bills. He's a grown a.s.s man and should be paying them himself anyways. unless he's in college

2006-06-07 10:22:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Give him his independence, stop paying his bills. Bet you get your call then :)

2006-06-07 10:16:36 · answer #6 · answered by davidmi711 7 · 0 0

Don't give him any money unless he calls.

2006-06-07 10:16:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

maybe he wants to be independent

2006-06-07 10:15:23 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

fedest.com, questions and answers