Who is Right? Me or Him?

Question

My uncle opened a Gourmet Ice Cream & Coffee Shop back in december. Since then He is very controlling. He wants everyone to be as productive as him. what he dosen't understand, no one is going to be like him. He is a work ahollic maniac. What ever you do is not good enough. Other employees are starting to complain about him to the other owner. One of the employees left here in tears today. Anyway... I'm the Ice cream Maker, when I work with the other owner, he leaves me alone, I get in a zone. When I work with my uncle, I can't get in a zone because he is on my back, hounding me to be more productive, and mix a batch together, while I'm doing my IC dishes, while I'm labeling the IC Pans, all before the ice cream finishes freezing. What pisses him off so much that I have my own system, my own process for making IC. So he tries to control me. Finally I decided, I'm not going to let him do that to me anymore. He told me I had a problem. Bottom line...Is it me? Or is it him? Its up to you.

Everyone is Saying...Quit, Quit, Quit...Its not that easy. For Certain Financial reasons...I can't quit.

Answer 1

He's the one with the problem. Not you.

Answer 2

Honestly, I think it's both.

Your uncle has worked for this, and it's his shop, therefore making him the boss and giving him the ability to decide how he wants the store to run. But if it's so bad, why haven't you quit yet - you have a responsibility to yourself to make sure you work in a healthy environment (minus the loads of ice cream lol). However, if other employees are complaining and one girl left CRYING, that says a LOT about your uncle's management of the store.

A petition will seem like an attack to him, I suggest you don't go that route. Instead, have the other owner talk to him, or if necessary, you yourself. But if you do, start sentences off saying "We the employees feel...." or "We the employees think..." or similiar, NOT "You always do this" or similiar. By doing the later he'll most likely see it as criticizing (which, yes, you are doing, but for the sake of better behavior on his part, don't make it sound like it is) and rise to the defense, not wanting to hear anymore - killing the conversation. (I've got loads of personal experience with this, trust me I know what I'm talking about.) Explain that everyone is working as hard as they can, and while you may not be doing things EXACTLY like his methods, products are still being sold, and money is still being made, which is what you want in a business. Therefore different ideas/methods can't necessarily be bad, right?

Finally, and I cannot stress these two last comments enough - He's your uncle, he's family, and as an adult he's your superior (unless you're 18 or older). Whatever you choose to do, do it in a RESPECTFUL manner, because the less tension around the holidays, the better... let's put it that way. Second, if you choose to talk to him yourself and things don't turn out good, don't drag other family members into the conflict and force them to take sides... what happens at the Ice Cream shop stays at the Ice Cream Shop.

Answer 3

I think the problem is his. He's overbearing. From what you've said it looks to me like you are productive when he isn't around.

You, and the other owner, need to pull him to the side and tell him to back off and leave people alone. Show him on paper everything that happens when he isn't around and how productive everyone is when he's not in the store. THEN as contrast try to show him how less productive things are when he IS IN the store. If he doesn't get that he's the problem after you talk to him, then he's going to lose everyone there (but you perhaps - you'll just end up miserable and hopefully trying to find a way out). Good Luck!!

Answer 4

I think you are right, and you should set the boundaries. Tell him if he wants your help, he's going to ahve to take a chill and let you use your own system. Ask him not to hover over you, as he is making you and everyone else nervous. I'm sure you can always get another job. I think he needs you a lot more than you need him. If you go, probably he won't be able to keep the others for long. If you stay, then set some conditions over a period of time that you would be able to work under. If you already went through that then it's time to leave. You won't be able to stand his inflexibility and hounding much longer.

Answer 5

it is you that is wrong, uncle has a lot invested in his store and wants to do well, you on the other hand want to run the place with nothing invested. rule #1 : never ever work for family or friends. you can't win. he is paying you to do it his way. if you are such a good ice cream maker, open your own shop and compete with him. see who has the best philosophy. sure he may be a maniac but eventually he will be doing it all himself anyway, because no one will work for him, he will change when it's necessary. I say see it from his point of view and help him make it a success, most businesses fold in the first 5 years anyway.

Answer 6

To who is right or wrong ...
Well, he is the owner of the shop therefore whatever he does in HIS shop he's right.
BUT here are a few tips to communicate better with him ...

Talk to him. Tell him what you need from him in term of direction, feedback and support. Be polite and focus on your needs. Telling the boss he’s a bad boss is counterproductive and won’t help you meet your goals.


Ask him how you can help him reach his goals. Make sure you listen well and provide the needed assistance.

Agree to disagree. Sometimes just because you don’t personally like a coworker or boss, it doesn’t mean that you can’t learn from their opinions, viewpoints, and ideas. If you can find something to appreciate about them, comment on it in a favorable way. If that person senses your allegiance, they will be naturally drawn to you and you may both learn to get along despite your differences.

Answer 7

I have been in both of your shoes...
Have you tried doing things EXACTLY as he has asked you to do? And I don't mean just while he is looking. Procedures and techniques need to be standardized, or soon everyone will "have their own process". Would you feel better if he "Re-learned" his technique to match yours? Are you the employee here or the business owner? you'd be amazed at how people will completely reverse or modify any thing you show them, and I hope someday you have four or five (hourly) employees, all doing the same job six different ways.

Answer 8

YOU seem to have a method that works for you and the owner. I would talk to the owner about this and put your foot down about it. Tell your Uncle that you are as well an employee and that the owner has NO problems with the way in which you work and to leave you alone....as well tell him he is wasting company time on doffing you, when he could as well be working. I stand corrected, however this is my answer!!!!!

Answer 9

Your Uncle is trying to let his business grow, and would like you to be a part of it so listen to the guy, it is good to be productive, try to be on your Uncle side and dont try to break down is business by trying to let other workers think the way you do,if you love it there leave the job and find you another, where you might fine non productive people

Answer 10

Its him, he is the older one, he is the control freak, Tell him you feel more comfortable doing things your own way. as long as you are`nt slacking, I dont see what hes problem Is., You could always say something like " Uncle, I would love to see things from your prospective.....but I cant get my head far enuff up my a**!!!!" Hope all works out, the saying Is true, never work with Family, I had my brother working for my husbands building firm, caused so many arguements, my family dont speak now. Never work with family, and never lend family money!!! Good luck, hope all works out ok for you.
PS: I`ll have a mint choc chip pls :)

Answer 11

Well, let's see: it's HIS business, and managers are controlling and bossy, as that is what they do in order to get shet done their way. Try talking to him to calm down a little or something, b/c otherwise, the main reason you feel that way, is b/c he is your uncle at the same time. I work w/ my ex-stepdad, I'd know; the bossiness pisses me off. There's no right or wrong here. Just realize if you want to deal w/ hiim on your *** and do things his way, or quit.