i feel that my brother is being controlled by his girlfriend. She use to be nice, but it seems like they just critisize people, including me and my husband. They are constantly bossing around our four year old, even though they have no children. They are rude and judgemental together! When we've approached him he gets defensice and mad. What can we say to make him see how he's acting? We do like her, but they are really becoming unbearable. It's causing the entire family to fight and it's all anyone ever talks about.
2006-06-07 09:55:52 · 14 answers · asked by mandisue2001 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Um, it's not your place.
You may be his brother/sister but its really not your place.
He needs to realize this on his own, and in the meantime you need to just back off. Set your own boundries by firmly telling him not to parent your kid because he already has parents and if he doesnt like it tough because you're not butting into his life and telling him how to handle his relationship so he shouldnt tell you how to parent.
See how it works? Mutual respect. It'll pay off. And if things dont go how you'd like and he keeps her around, as long as he's not telling you how to parent anymore than you just have to mind your business.
2006-06-07 10:02:19 · answer #1 · answered by aMansRuin 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's a problem for sure, when somebody who is not a part of a family starts to ruin the family itself with it's bad behavior, actually dictatorial! All of you need to talk to your brother, just be patient and try to support him in everything, because sorry if I will make you upset, but it seems like your brother's girlfriend is maybe a drug user, somehow I feel that she is using drugs, because her rebellious behavior it just makes me think like this! Anyway, try to find out, spend more time with your brother and try to convince him in kind way that it's not right what is he doing with his own family for one girl who is actually destroying him completely! Make him understand that the family is more important than that girl, because he cannot find another family but yes, he can find another girlfriend who will be just fine for him and for your complete family! Good luck!
2006-06-07 17:01:56 · answer #2 · answered by bestthing80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot.
Cut contact with him. The equivalent of ending diplomatic ties on a family level. If you're important enough to him, he'll ask why no one ever talks to him any more and then you can tell him. Until then, until he asks for the input, you've got nothing.
Relationships can be like alcohol, destroying peope without their knowing...and just like alcohol, the person can't change unless they want to.
2006-06-07 16:59:23 · answer #3 · answered by Leo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, but you can't force him to break up with her. It is his relationship, and if he feels it's good for him, then there is nothing you can do. You have already stated your opinion/worries. Now you just need to start backing away. If the relationship is hurting you & your family, you slowly need to stop seeing them. Don't cut them off entirely, but start seeing less and less of them. It is their life, but there is also YOUR life to think about as well. Maybe he will get the hint, and maybe he won't.
2006-06-07 17:02:41 · answer #4 · answered by Golden Sphinx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know we have tha same problem with my brother, hew wont listen and there is no way to make him understand unfortunaly you need time and to give him time, because when someone does not wants do to something by no way he will do it. And if you continue pushing things are going to get worse. Just be patience and let him be
2006-06-07 17:00:05 · answer #5 · answered by karlai a 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give your brother and his girlfriend time away from you and your family.If you already talked to him and its not helping maybe him not being able to see you when he likes will let him see how serious you are about their attitudes.
2006-06-07 17:01:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him laid by a different woman. That will pretty much end his relationship and cure him of being pussy whipped (which is really what the problem is).
2006-06-07 16:58:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sign up for "Parental Control"
2006-06-07 16:58:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
eew, i know how you feel... sounds exactly like my brother! ever since he started hanging out with his GF 24/7 he is totally mean and doesnt care about anyone but himself... and he's only 13!!! sad, isn't it? he really tries to rip our family apart so that we can be dysfunctional just like his GFs family... :-(
2006-06-07 16:59:18 · answer #9 · answered by yankeegurl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put him & her in their place and tell them they are not allowed in your home acting like that and you won't be visitng their either. if your bro wont' listen to reasoning then be though stick to it and if he still ignors you just wait it'll blow up in his face when he gets tired of being controlled!
2006-06-07 17:00:45 · answer #10 · answered by angelcdm228 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋