My best friend asked me to be in her wedding as her maid of honor. Little did I know how much work it would be. I knew she was high maintenence, but when she requested all of us to stay at the beach house they had rented for a week before the wedding, and then got mad at me because I couldn't come until the middle of the week for work reasons, she got really heated. She punished me and my fiance by making us sleep on the floor when everyone else had beds...we ended up sleeping outside on the deck bc we had to share a room with another couple we didn't know!
I tried to forget about how hurt I was and probably overindulged a little on the spirits a couple of nights. It was just extremely painful to think that your bf could punish you for not being there extra early. The only people that could get there early were two single mothers with no jobs and a girl in from Australia.
I did my duties and gave a nice 400 dollar shower, bachlorette party...Im hurt and I don't wanna remain friends!
2006-06-07 09:42:12 · 13 answers · asked by kiki877 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I hate to say it, but this is one argument that you're not going to win. The fact is, this was her wedding. She shouldn't have made you uncomfortable during your stay, but by the same token, you could have made other arrangements if it wasn't comfortable for you. And you did agree to be her maid of honor, something that you either could have turned down, or split with another bridesmaid. It's not unheard of to do this.
It probably wasn't an issue of punishment, more an issue of first come, first served, and you would have kicked someone else out of a bed.
What it comes down to, it was her wedding. That means that she is going to be in the right in her mind, no matter what you say. My suggestion, leave this out of the equation when you talk to her. She'll just get defensive and you'll look petty. Take some time away from her. If your friendship will survive, it will happen in spite of this. Eventually, and if someone else brings it up, she will probably understand what she did was wrong.
Let her make the decision about "de-friending". By asking the question, you've already made up your mind. It's not something that you can just choose to do; feelings aren't that temporal. If there are issues, they'll come from a long ways off. See if time and distance will help, and see if she's making any movements towards reconciling. You may need her later to throw you a party!
Good luck!
2006-06-07 10:03:13 · answer #1 · answered by unity824 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all, it was wrong of her to just assume that everyone in the entire wedding party could take the ENTIRE week off before the wedding. Most people only take the weekend (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (to help hangovers!!)) off from work.
Second of all, it was a stressful period of time for her. She was quickly changing from single life to married life. She needs the help and support of her friends to make the transition easier.
She may not have been aware of how she was acting during the planning of the wedding. What would be the most helpful is having a heart to heart talk with her. Tell her that you understand she was under a great deal of stress, however that doesn't not excuse how she treated you and your fiance at the beachhouse. Tell her that what upsets you the most is how she disregarded your feelings about how she was treating her. Be patient with her, and listen to her answers.
I think that this may be something silly to lose a friendship over, especially if you were the matron of honor at her wedding.
2006-06-07 11:28:35 · answer #2 · answered by prettycute4u62040 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm...you recognize there don't seem to be regulations that define what a friendship should be. If he wishes to be that manner, you'll be able to make a decision should you wish to pursue the friendship or no longer. Maybe he's a bit of ego-centric. Being a buddy method accepting him simply the way in which he's. You may not difference him (or you should not difference him) by way of telling him how he need to be. Just allow him be ego-centric, and should you can not stand it, backtrack from the friendship. I believe you must simply apologize, and check out to patch matters up. Sounds like a type of "misunderstandings" that occur with emails and mail. You can not relatively understand how he is feeling or pondering simply by studying what he is writing. There's an detail of private touch lacking for BOTH of you that appears to be inflicting a rift. Don't allow a false impression smash a friendship.
2016-09-08 21:55:59 · answer #3 · answered by arruda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she was really stressed before the wedding, but that's really no excuse for treating people unfairly. I don't think you should "de-friend" her, but you definitely need to clear the air. Meet her for lunch and gently tell her how much it hurt your feelings to be treated that way after all you had done for her as her maid of honor. Chances are, she's not even aware she acted that way. And if she is aware and she doesn't apologize, then yeah, de-friend her. No one needs that crap.
2006-06-07 09:59:36 · answer #4 · answered by browneyedgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the thing is, if you were THAT unhappy you should have said you couldn't stay there because you felt uncomfortable, got a hotel room and just spent the night there. She paid for you a free place to stay and obviously paid for your alcohol. It's kind of wrong for her to do that on purpose but if other people arrived before you and they needed a room then they needed a room!
2006-06-07 12:29:35 · answer #5 · answered by omigodess_2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would talk to her. Tell her how it made you feel. Sounds like she was a major bridezilla! Yes, planning a wedding can be very stressful, but it doesn't give the bride any justified reason to be rude to anyone!!
If she doesn't apologize, and tells you to deal with it, then move on! She doesn't sound like any friend I would want to have!
2006-06-14 02:42:08 · answer #6 · answered by Amy Swallows 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just got married recently and I know that I overreacted about certain stuff with my mom and maid-of-honor but I apologized about everthing afterwards. I don't think that you should cut her off completly, but if I were you I wouldn't remain as close to her anymore.
2006-06-07 15:51:44 · answer #7 · answered by Cristinaa323 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think she punished you....if you were sharing a room with another couple it sounds like there were not enough rooms for everyone, and how would you feel if you arrived early were given a room, and then forced out when someone else showed up. no offense.
2006-06-07 09:59:38 · answer #8 · answered by JenniT 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time, tell her how you felt. She was probably so self-absorbed at the time she didn't realize she was being selfish and hurtful. If she isn't willing to meet you half way, then I guess you have to decide about your friendship.
2006-06-07 10:49:47 · answer #9 · answered by keri gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about it and see if she realizes she hurt you, sometimes people do things without realizing the hurt caused, by her answer you will be able to think about where you want to go from there.
2006-06-07 10:04:10 · answer #10 · answered by CHAR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋