How long would you "ground" your out of control teen?

Question

*lying
*cussing me out
*sex
*innapropriate dress
*sneaking out of the house
*hanging with a bad crowd
*extremely disprespectful

She is 17 and a senior in high school.

Answer 1

Call your local Child & Family Services Department. I know that where I live there are about 3 programs that deal with out of control teens and teach them respect. In most cases (about 75%) the programs are successful.

Answer 2

My cousin was like that,
Here's what my aunt did:

1- Remove the bedroom door by unscrewing the hinges (no privacy = no sex)

2- Take out the dresser, and give her a shelf to put her things on (if everything is where you can see it, she can't hide any condoms or inappropriate clothes). If worse comes to worse, put the box spring & mattress on the floor and get rid of the bedframe so nothing, and no one, can be hidden there.

3- Throw out any and all inappropriate clothes. Even if this means throwing out all her clothes - you can get her sweatpants and sweatshirts cheap and she'll wear what you give her if she's got nothing else.

4- Don't worry about the bad crowd - she won't want to have friends over when her room has no door and all her stuff is on display on a shelf.

5- For sneaking out of the house, change all the locks and DO NOT give her a key. She sneaks out because she knows she can get back in. If you have the only key, then she can only enter the house when you are there, and this also means she can't have friends coming over without you knowing because YOU have the only key for her or anyone to get in or out.

6- Cussing you out: Every time she cusses you out, she loses what very few priviliges she has left.

7- Pick her up from school/work if you can. Arrive early, know where her last class is, and pick her up from there. This way she can't be out with her "bad crowd". If you can't do it, then have a family member or neighbor do it. If she doesn't show up - she will have to deal with you when she comes home, because she can't get in without you (you have the only key, remember?).

8- No phone, no computer. Even if it means you have to unplug the phone receiver and take it with you, do it. Put a password lock on the computer, too. She won't be able to use these things to communicate with her "bad crowd". Not only that, but you can use these things as an incentive later, if she improves her behavior. I would consider letting her use the computer for one hour a day (no instant messaging or emailing) and this would be something that she can have if she doesn't cuss, but can lose if she cusses.

9- Many school districts have an anger management course that some kids must go through if they fight too much at school. Ask if your kid's school has something like this, because learning to manage her anger will help her to stop cussing, lying, and disrespecting you. Also see if the school psychologist can meet with you and your daughter regularly to figure out a way to get her off this track.

This is a trust matter and taking all these things and rights away will show her that she doesn't have your trust. She can earn her privacy, her freedom to enter/leave the house on her own, and your trust when she proves she can be responsible.

Sounds harsh, but it works.

Answer 3

You don't ground her. You say, "Hey, look, you can't follow my rules then you get out of my house." No matter how hard it is for you, stand your ground or she will never learn. I was that towards my mother and I am 20 now and SERIOUSLY regret not listening to her. When I would do something she would say those exact words in a very firm voice and it always worked. I usually stopped what I was doing. Lady, STAND YOUR GROUND. So, she wants to act like an adult....let her live on her own as one. She'll come running back appreciating all the things you've done for her.

Answer 4

I think that grounding them will only solve part of the problem temporarily. You should have an intellectual conversation about there actions-if they are (or think they are) old enough to be doing these things, they can handle this kind of talk! You could begin by explaining the consequences of each action..like std's and pregnancy in the sex parts.and so on and so forth. And ask them why they feel the need to participate in all of this and why it will lead them to an unsuccessful life if it is continued. I'm a teen and my parents have always done this with me, don't scare them out of anything or lie to them to protect them; give them all of the helpful info that you can and hope that they use that info properly. Don't get me wrong,some dicipline should definately be used to start off.

Answer 5

that's an easily psychological ailment, and that i for my section get dissatisfied even as human beings question this style of component, although I do get your aspect. I have melancholy, and once you're saying the ailments which could be dealt with with assistance from meds are those you've had for 10 years is carefully unfair. melancholy causes an lack of ability to operate in each and daily existence and it impacts the lives of the individuals in relationships with that sufferer of melancholy. there is no motivation to do some thing. All you want to do is sleep and also you'll't concentration on some thing because of that little voice on your head telling you all the undesirable issues in existence. For me, it felt like the international truly were given darker and visually uglier or perhaps as i began drugs it brightened up somewhat. presently each and every little thing has grow to be a drag and darkish back, without motivation to do some thing. This wasn't meant to bash you or some thing, merely attempting to provide an outlook from a 14 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous who has had melancholy for 7 years.

Answer 6

first of all, don't worry about how they dress, it's not that important in the big scheme of things.
cut off the power to their room
put bars on their window so they cannot sneak out
arm the security system before you go to bed and don't give them the code
move / relocate
send to outward bound
kick out of the house / change locks (tough love)

good luck

Answer 7

Personally, if my son ever did this I would take away car privlages, going out on weekends, computer privlages unless homework neccesary, and talking to friends for at the very, very least a month. A mother deserves to be treated with the upmost respect. I would say, go to school, come home. That's it.

Answer 8

I have already lived thru all of that with my oldest child. If you need someone to talk to go to my 360 page and send me a message. Its not easy and this is a very private type of matter. I would hate to say something and offend other parents who don't have to deal with difficult children like we have. LOL

Answer 9

No need for grounding the teen just send him/her to a Military school. LOL

Answer 10

A frustrated and rebelleous teen is unlikely to respond to ANY amount of 'grounding'...this is too little info to make any recommendations, but a good counselor or therapist may be able to answer your concerns. Good luck...you're gonna need it!?!