How can I get the father of my child to be in her life?

Question

I am about 25 weeks pregnant. I told him when I was about a month and a half along. When I told the father, he basically wanted nothing to do with me and we haven't spoken since. The only thing I want from him is to acknowledge the fact that he will be having another child and help me out. I know there are some women out there that want drama, but I am not one of them. I just need some pointers on how to approach this matter in a mature and civilized way.

Answer 1

My mother told my father about me and when she was 6 months into her pregnancy, he abandoned her. I tried to get in touch with him when I was seventeen and he never responded. When I became pregnant with my first child, the father and I got married when I was 6 months along. My situation happend differently than my mother's. But being denied twice by my father made me realize any jerk who denies any responsibility for his child should not be given the privledge of having children. And you should not wait for him to be ready. Take him to court and make him support you financially if nothing else. It will be hard, but give your child all the love and support you can and he/she will grow to be something great. The only one they will thank will be YOU. I am very proud of the way my life turned out and have no regrets about anything. I am also very proud to say that on my birth certificate on the section where it reads FATHER mine is blank. My mother who worked very hard to give me a good upbringing did a wonderful job and she was very courageous to take on the responsibility of both parents.

Answer 2

There isn't a whole lot you can do at this point. He is choosing to not acknowledge your child. You can try to see if you can sit down and talk with him about being in your child's life but that is pretty much all you can really do until he decides to come around and accept that he is the father. Also, because you two have not been in contact, you might have to get child support set up for your baby. He has already shown that he is not responsible or very mature by walking away from a woman who is pregnant with his child. More than likely things won't change even after the baby arrives, so you need to make sure that your child will get the financial support it will need. You're trying to approach this situation in a mature manner and I commend you for it, but you're dealing with someone who is not on that same maturity level with you right now so you are going to have change your strategies to accommodate this. Good luck.

Answer 3

Well you can sit him down and talk to him. Let him know that you would really like him to be an active part of this babies life and set up your plans and goals on co-parenting (do not confuse that with being together they are two totally different things)
However remember you can lead a horse to water but you can not make him drink.
However hard it is some people just are not meant to be parents and will run from that responsibility. It sucks but it is the truth. You can not force him to do something he does not want to do and if he does not want to be a father to that child he will not be no matter what you do.
Try to go about it the civil way and hopefully it will get you somewhere. But if it comes down to it at least bring him to court and get a little child support to help you with raising that baby.
Good luck!!!

Answer 4

Well first thats a big shocker for him (and you) especially if you wern't in a serious relationship... he might have just freaked out. But also, he may have thought you were lying, or have hoped that you were. He's had some time now, so call him again and let him know how things are going. Tell him you don't want a relationship with him, but you want your baby to have a dad. Give him a chance to change his mind, but you can't force him. If you have ultrasound pics, offer to mail them to him (copies of them)... that alone might change his mind. Ask for his opinions on names... nothing with too much responsibitly. If he still balks.. wait till the baby is about to be born and call again. If he really wants nothing to do with this kid, he will eventually disappear so you can't contact him. Its worth a try, but if you don't think he will be the dad your kid deserves... then don't try so hard. Sometimes mom and dad drama is harder on a kid than just not knowing who daddy is.

Answer 5

You cant force it. Any male can father a child, it takes a man to be a dad.