He gets us into trouble with our money by not paying the bills and gets mad at me for wanting to pay them. I do not like owing people and I definetly don't like having my things pawned without my knowing it. What am I to do???
2006-06-07 07:55:37 · 48 answers · asked by Gayla H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dump the loser. He has some kind of problem, drugs, gambling, whatever. If he wants to stay tell him only if you have complete control of the money, and he gets counseling.
2006-06-07 07:58:47 · answer #1 · answered by kimmyisahotbabe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is not the right way to go, unless he physically hurts you. Especially if you have kids. If you have kids, please try to work through this for them. Divorce is so much more hard on kids than the adults. Never seeing their dad would break their hearts. I suggest talking with your husband. Since you two are married, you obviously have a strong connection and love for each other. Since you are married, you should be able to talk with him like you once did. Tell him that you love him, but he should respect your privacy. And since you both make incomes for your lives, tell him that paying bills should be a partner job. It takes two comunicating people to form a successful marrige. I also suggest not letting your things lay around the house; keep your most valuable stuff discretly hidden. But don't be stingy; he's your husband, and you love him. (or atleast you should)
2006-06-07 08:03:23 · answer #2 · answered by HOT STUFF 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has a drug problem. I would divorce him. He's going to ruin not only his but your credit. He doesn't seem to care about you enough to take care of you. If he's angry with you for wanting to pay the bills he's crazy. I think you should wait until he's not home or at work. Move everything out of the house that you want, and take what ever you have left in the bank account out. Don't tell him where your going. File for divorce. If he cared about you he wouldn't do this to you.
2006-06-07 08:03:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not mature enough to handle the finances. Get some counseling and take over paying the bills. You may find that you are better off without him. He could be gambling or doing drugs with the money.
2006-06-07 07:59:33 · answer #4 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need anyone to tell you what to do...You know what you have to do. He has an addiction of some sort, and if you allow him to, he will destroy you also...save yourself. As far as he goes, you can only help those who want to be helped. Don't become an enabler, and don't fall for all the lies he's going to tell you, such as I don't have a problem, I can stop at anytime, or I'm going to stop today, next week, etc. It's going to get worse before it gets better, believe me! I've been through it with family, employees, and friends. I've heard every line in the book. I'll bet I can tell some addicts some $hit they've never heard before. I've had damn good teachers. If you want to help him, have "HIM" call Narcotics Anonymous (NA), or Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), or Gamblers Anonymous (GA), whichever organization suits his needs. Remember, HE has to make the call. Good Luck.
2006-06-07 17:04:32 · answer #5 · answered by smooth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, uhh like they said I would think about a seperation. But for now, what you can do is when he or you get paid to take out a lump sum for the bills and hide it someplace. Or open a seperate account and transfer it there.
If he's not willing to help pay then yah seriously I'd leave him, unless there is a good reason behind it..
2006-06-07 07:59:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a serious problem You don't have to get divorced, but move out and get your own place and don't give hiim keys. THen you will have your own bills in your name only and you can pay them. You can't let him control your money. He will drown both of you that way. You have to be resposible and control money. Get your own account and stop putting you check where he can access it. Move your things out of the house. You must limit his access. I went thru something similar for 12 years. If he won't be responsible you have to.
2006-06-07 08:00:14 · answer #7 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce. If he's not paying bills and pawning all your things for $$.. I would tend to believe he is on drugs.
Leave him.
2006-06-07 07:59:35 · answer #8 · answered by mytrollinid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a conflict of interests to me.I would consider my life and lifestyle compared to what I want it to be.If it doesn't look like your headed in the right direction then you may need to consider a few changes.We have been given only one life to live and if we aren't living it the way we want to then in the end we can only blame ourselves.Relationships are hard when both people want the same things and even harder when they don't.It is ultimately your decision but My advice is don't live your life for someone else that doesn't respect you and your belongings.Good luck
2006-06-07 08:06:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lock up your possessions and get your own secret bank account so you can start paying the bills on your own and get marriage counseling. If all else fails you need to give him a choice, either keep doing what he's doing now and loose everything that you guys have worked for and yourself or straighten up.
2006-06-07 07:59:41 · answer #10 · answered by dangerousblackgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe you should open a pawn shop or perhaps get a second job workin a street corner again,or maybe take the giant wadd of his baby batter in your mouth down to the sperm bank and deposit that stuff....you know i wish i could meet a dumb hooker such as yourself,Id sit home smokin crack and eating captain crunch while you blow on my taint for hours.
2006-06-07 08:02:30 · answer #11 · answered by yar_riz_420 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋