I have been in a relationship with this man for 9 months now, but i know that he still has feelings for his ex-wife. I am really trying to deal with it the best way that I know how. This woman treated him terribly and cheated on him constantly, but he still has feelings for her. I have worked hard on this relationship and I love him dearly, but I love myself enough to let it go if he can't be the man that he should be for me.
2006-06-07 07:55:23 · 10 answers · asked by adriadneaaron 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i went through.that...now that it's 9 months, he needs to make a decision... i gave my husband an ultimatum -- call her back and don't call me no more.....HER calls stopped... good luck
2006-06-07 07:58:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I Want to help you with this the best I know how and i hope that you will understand my in go on this. I feel that as a married man myself I honestly think you should address him with your feelings. You should also remember something important Always look out for #1. He can't possibly be focused on you if his feelings are still wandering in her direction. Talk with him first see whats in his head and what he wants to do and if he cannot make a decision or your not in his favor "Let him go until he can make up his mind. You don't need to be going through this and wondering if hes cheating on you.
You are number 1 and you deserve to be the only lady in his life you don't want to be second or third the big one 1 is what you are searching for and want. A man to love you for you, and only you. Good luck and I hope i have helped you. mrshllnthny9473@yahoo.com
2006-06-07 08:13:33 · answer #2 · answered by John M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a relationship is never just based on waiting for things to happen.
i firmly believe in making things happen when realistically possible. life is too short. you must do what you can to let him know what he has in you, how different it is from his past relationships and definitely, without a doubt - tell him your concern for this and how it might negatively effect what you have with him.
if you continue to feel like he has not moved on from his past, then you must make a tough decision. 9 months is a realistically sufficient amount of time to get over a relationship which was not good for us. if he continues to not be able to get over it - then he has more work to do then you realize. i know we all put up with many things which we don't like when in a relationship but significant feelings (other than pure friendship) for an ex should never be one of them. don't sell yourself short, be assertive and speak your mind as well and as clearly as you can. us guys do not like to bossed but some of us, unfortunately, will continue to be wussy if allowed to. there comes a time when a guy must "man up" and do what he must. and sometimes that means forceably putting our past behind us. if he doesn't have the will or fortitude to do so - then i think you must start realizing that you are in relationship with someone whom cannot take control of their life well enough to be in relationships in a healthy manner. there are many people out there like that - believe me. the stronger you are for yourself, the quicker you will get to where you want to be. eventually, you might have to use an ultimatum. no problem with that as long as you do it with good communication and really, truly and fully express yourself. and if you are the type that can wait for a long, long time.......then you'd better settle in for more of this because he might not be able to move on until his ex does. again, this is not a sign of strength that's for sure.
2006-06-07 08:09:00 · answer #3 · answered by nrmaloutsider 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long has this man been divorced?
If it was w/in the year, maybe he just wasn't ready for another long term committment or didn't have a chance to actually get over her before he started dating you.
If you think he still has feelings for her, you need to find out for sure, b/c after 9 months I'm sure you are attached to him and it will just get harder the longer you stay with him. Remember that sometimes no matter how much we love someone, sometimes they just aren't able to love us back. I hope everything works out for you!!!
2006-06-07 08:01:15 · answer #4 · answered by kreale_78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First issues first. you want to end questioning that each and every little thing is about you and treating each and every little thing like it has to contain you. even as he talks to his EX spouse and he's not with assistance from you that's probable because he feels uncomfortable speaking to her with any target market, supply him a smash.in case you want this guy attempt to appreciate him somewhat extra effectual and be conscious if it grow to be meant to be. He treats you all appropriate and cuddles with you and in go back you tell him to take you domicile because you've been nosey and checked his telephone? He did not write it! His fricking ex spouse did so why did you're taking it out on him? he's not jointly with her anymore and the feeling of jealousy will go away after awhile as mine went remote from my ex in a real quick hurry. adult adult males do not have emotions a similar way that women do, so i doubt he's ever really questioning about her and if he grow to be he may be spending time jointly with her. It appears like the ex is merely messing with you. reliable success
2016-11-14 08:03:57 · answer #5 · answered by sorensen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a best frnd to this man.give your full support, u share things with him & let him share everything with u react as a good frnd don't show any kind of harsh feeling be cool he will realise 1 day tht he is doin wrong with u but do this only if u love him or else say him tht it irritates u & lead tht discussion on the unknown way
2006-06-07 08:04:22 · answer #6 · answered by soni s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenn you say you worked hard on this relationship, do you mean that you led him to think that his ex-wife was cheating on him, or that you would wait for him? Maybe he is having second thoughts about going with you, after that.
2006-06-07 07:59:24 · answer #7 · answered by cdf-rom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't, because this things are in the head. it is part of his past. if he didn't have a wife like this, then he will not meet you. what you have to do is build a future with him. past is history, they stay, now make history with him now. so in a year when he look back, he is with you, not her or anyone else.
2006-06-07 07:59:27 · answer #8 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go on, but keep an eye on him. it is not worth waiting on unless you happen to be single yourself when he is free
2006-06-07 07:58:38 · answer #9 · answered by goldenfour7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would wait for however long it takes.
2006-06-07 08:01:32 · answer #10 · answered by boo 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋