Suggestions on toliet training a 31/2 boy who refuses?

Question

My 3 1/2 year old son will pee in the toilet but refuses to have a BM there. I'm looking for suggestions on how to help him.

Answer 1

Put him in clothing that he can easily take on and off by himself. Have him pick out some big boy underwear. Count out the remainder of his diapers (if that is where he will have a BM) and tell him "You have 5 more times to use diapers and then you can use the toilet." Put him in the underwear. Get him a step stool so he can easily get up to the toilet. If he soils himself say "It looks like you need to change." Give it no more attention than that. Hold him completely responsible for the cleanup (he can shake the poop in the toilet, wash the underwear, wipe, put on clean underwear, put the soiled clothing in the laundry, and put on clean clothing). He can take a bath before bed. It will take a few tries, but he will soon learn it is much easier to use the toilet.

If he is still refusing, a big tactile reward may work (a new bike, firetruck...) Put it in a place where he can see but not reach it. Tell him "When you can use the toilet every time, then you can have the (bike, truck)." This may inspire him to use the toilet when he needs to have a BM. Be patient and good luck!

Answer 2

My son was just about 3 when he finally decided to use the potty. Our pediatrician told us he will do it when ready and that boys typically take longer than girls because they lack certain muscle control. Not that this makes having a 3 yo in diapers any easier :o). Summer is upon us (depending on where you live) and this is when I decided it was time to really try. We were outside all the time and it was hot so he ran around in undies - that he got to choose - he thought it was amazing that he could pee outside (but in the potty so he would use it inside as well).

I also agree with another responder - do not make a huge deal out of mistakes. There are going to be mistakes and if he has a hand in cleaning them up - he won't like cleaning it and eventually will remember to go.

Answer 3

My son was the same way. The way we did it was after getting a ton of advice from people and different websites, parencenter.com was the one that helped me. We went to Walmart and bought a blues clues potty seat for the big potty. We had a plain one, but this one was more fun for him since he loved Blues Clues.

I took it home- and he saw it and grabbed it out of my hands (literally) and ran into the bathroom saying he wanted to use it, and did. Sounds too good to be true, I know. But it took months of accidents before I got to this day. Maybe it was the seat, maybe it was just his time. Has your son ever been constipated? If so, that could be his problem. He might be scared because all pediatricians i've talked to said the same thing. Even if it's just one time that they had a difficult time going, it could be months of aggrivation in potty training because they are uncomfortable.

Also- try giving him books to read when he's in there to relax him and make it a more fun thing to do, instead of a chore. AND- try giving him peace and quiet. Do you want someone watching you go? I dont think he wants someone watching him either.

Answer 4

Watch for the signs, and when you notice that he needs to go then bring him to the potty and when he does BM, make a huge deal out of it...after a few days or so maybe buy him a little something at the Dollar Store for being a big boy!

Answer 5

i have the oppisite problem my son will bm in the toilet but not pee. my advice is to watch him closly when you see him squat or grunt or turn red in the face rush him straight to the toilet

Answer 6

Make him wear underwear or let him be naked. Bribery works well too.

THis will pass.