Pls. all u 2 pointers can go dig some place else.
2006-06-07 06:47:04 · 6 answers · asked by king_aragorn_the_great 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
these are sad, but funny
whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree?
1 baby nailed to 10 trees
whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
you can only unload one with a pitchfork
2006-06-07 06:54:31 · answer #1 · answered by ringo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There was a magician who was working on a cruise ship... because the audience changed every week, he was able to continue to do the same tricks every week to a different crowd.
The captain of this ship had a parrot that went to every one of the magician's shows and it was not long before he had them all figured out and would shout in the middle of each trick exactly how they were done... "look, he has another hat just like it under the table cloth... or why are all the cards in that deck the king of hearts..." , and it infuriated the poor magician, but what could he do??? It was the captains bird!!!
Well, one night the ship hit an iceberg and sank into the ocean. The magician survived and was hanging onto a floating piece of debris, and as fate would have it... the parrot was on the same piece of debris.
The hatred was so strong between them that neither would speak to the other... The first day passed without a word... The second day passed in total silence.... By the end of the third day, the parrot finally broke down and said. "Okay, I give up.... what did you do with the friggin ship??!!"
2006-06-07 19:33:29 · answer #2 · answered by diane_b_33594 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man won a ticket to the Super Bowl, but when he got there, he was very disappointed. He was on the far left, at the back. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than he was to the field.
But halfway through the first quarter, he spotted an empty 50-yard-line seat that had to be the best seat in the house. He went down to the empty seat and said to the guy sitting beside it, "Is anyone sitting here?"
"Nope" the guy replied.
So the man sat down, and about 30 minute later, he couldn't resist saying, "Man! This is an awesome seat! Whoever gave it up must be CRAZY!"
The guy sitting next to him replied, "Well, actually, that was supposed to be my wife's seat, but she died."
The man, feeling like a total jerk said, "Oh, that's awful, but couldn't you have asked a relative to come with you?"
"No", said the guy. "They're all at the funeral."
2006-06-07 17:28:55 · answer #3 · answered by themacncheesepunk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little Billy walks in on his parents arguing.
The mom calls the husband a "bastard"
and then the dad calls the wife a "*****"
and billy goes to his mom and says "mom what's a ***** and a bastard?"
and the mom says "well, a ***** is a lady and a bastard is a gentlemen"
and then later billy goes outside and hears his neighbors, and hears "Put your penis in my vagina!"
So Billy goes to his mom and says "mom whats a penis and vagina?"
His moms says "Well Billy, a penis is a hat and a vagina is a coat"
and then later billy sees his dad shaving and cuts himself and says "****"
and billy said "Dad, whats ****"
And then his dad says
"Well billy, **** is a type of Shaving
cream "
and then billy goes to see his mom cutting the turkey and his mom cuts her finger and says "****!"
and then billy says to his mom"Mom whats ****?"
"Well billy **** is a way to cut a turkey"
and Then later the guests arrive and billy goes to them and says
heres one
"Hello bitchs and bastards, may i take your penis's and vaginas,
my dad's upstairs wipeing the **** of his face, and my mom is ******* the Turkey"
2006-06-07 13:58:23 · answer #4 · answered by jay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went to pick you a flower, but it was a venus flytrap, and it bit my head. So I killed it and got you this piece of grass instead.
2006-06-07 21:17:50 · answer #5 · answered by dryad_of_nature 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't spell!
And that is no joke.
2006-06-08 02:15:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋