U might be a redneck if u........?

Question

best answer wins and it has to be funnyt

Answer 1

"You know you're a redneck when...


1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.


2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.


3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.


4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.


5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.



6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.


7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.


8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.


9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.


10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.


11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.


12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.


13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.


14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.


15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.


16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.


17. You have a rag for a gas cap.


18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.


19. You wonder how service stations keep their restroom's so clean.


20. You can spit without opening your mouth.


21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.


22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.


23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.


24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.


25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.


26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.


27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.


28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.


29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.


30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

Answer 2

Well, I guess since I shop at Wal mart, grew up on a farm and own a house with 2 bedrooms, that classifies me as a redneck. A redneck who owns her own house, graduated in the top 10% of her class, has a college degree, an excellent job and one who doesn't have my nose so far up in the air that I can't lower myself to the level of shopping at Wal-Mart. Why don't you go on, orangecitygirl. I'd like to see what other closed minded comments you may have for us rednecks. I think the whole idea here was to finish the line with a joke, not a rude redneck bashing comment. It's funny to read some of these, because they actually apply to me!!!

You might be a redneck if, when you mow your grass, you find your car, your dog, your kids and the bath tub.

EDIT: Ok, Russian T, lmmfao, but no fair copying Jeff Foxworthy!!! No matter how many times I hear him do those, they are still funny!!

Answer 3

If you're related to the same person by birth AND by marriage, you might be a redneck.

Answer 4

You might be a redneck if your neck is sunburned and you put barbecue sauce on it for the mosquitoes and other little bugs.

Answer 5

You might be a redneck if your last words were "Hey Billy Bob! Watch this!!!"

Answer 6

Don't take the Marlboro out of your mouth before telling the state patrolman to "kiss your @ss."

Answer 7

you might be redneck if your jack o lantern has more teeth than your wife

Answer 8

i agree. orangetowngurls a little mean and mostly unfunny.
why would one be a red neck if you have only two bedrooms
in your house? wtf I live in a loft in greenwhich village. blow me
you stupid *****

anyways you might be a redneck if you stare at a bottle of OJ because it says "concentrate"

Answer 9

Answer this question. Ooops I m ight be a red neck. who da thunk.

Answer 10

shop for clothes at walmart, dont go shopping for a year, go to the toilet outside, have a crashed house, dont have much things, have 2 or less bedrooms, live on a farm, ..............i could go on!