doesn't feel comfortable being in a room with a man. I am his father, and have never even thought of doing such a thing to MY child. I just want to be close to my son again and its eating my heart out.
2006-06-07 06:38:06 · 19 answers · asked by Jason W 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
How can I be close to my little boy again?
2006-06-07 06:38:54 · update #1
How can I be close to my little boy again?
2006-06-07 06:38:55 · update #2
First thing is shoot that sick f@#k right between the eyes because the law will let him out in 5 to 10 years and he most likely do it again then get a counsler that specialiezes in these sort of things hopefully he or she can help you restart you and your son father and son relationship that you and your son once had.I really hope that you get the piece of mind and realationship back you once had with your son.Good luck.
2006-06-07 06:46:34 · answer #1 · answered by apache672004 4 · 11⤊ 1⤋
Recovery from molestation is a hard and fearful thing for your son to do. The more you press him, the more likely it is that he will pull away. This is not a reaction to you so much as it is a reaction to the situation he was in with his teacher. He may experience nightmares and flashbacks of the molest. He may develop some symptoms of anxiety and fearfulness especially around men. My suggestion is to go slow and operate within his comfort zone. See if he will allow you to get close in a group situation then move to a situation where maybe only one other person (his mother maybe) is present. Let him know you are supportive of him and his therapy. Let him know that you love him and would like to get close to him when he is ready. As you demonstrate that you are a safe person to him, he will most likely want to build a relationship with you again.
2006-06-07 12:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your son has went through a terrible ordeal, he still needs continued therapy to cope this is a life long process there are no short cuts to this sort of thing, sometimes someone who has been molested no matter what the age will continue to deal with it through adulthood and so and it may manifest through many different ways throughout their life, all you can do right now is be there for him the best way that you can, even though he is not comfortable with being in the same room with a man right now, just realize that this has nothing to do with you or the fact that you may or may not do anything to him it is his defense mechanism he is mentally protecting himself from this guy in a way that he was not able to when he was in school, just continue to let him know that you love him and that you will always be there for him no matter what and that when he is ready to open up to you that you will be there for him, it is hard seeing any child go through this but these things take time just continue to love and support him the best way you know how and continue to send him to therapy......good luck
2006-06-07 06:51:09 · answer #3 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How very, very awful for your little boy. I don't mean to add to your grief but that F u c k ing teacher. I hope his nasty a s s goes to jail cuz those jail boys will give it right back to him. See how HE likes it. Gosh, how terrible.
Your son's actions toward men would be considered understandable. Unfortunately it sounds like he is also transferring those feelings to you? I'm not sure if THAT is common as I would have to assume you are a person of trust for him but none the less, he is confused. It will obviously take time for him to get back on track. Maybe you and his mother should also go to therapy to learn how to cope with what he is going through. Chances are, you are going through some stuff as well.
I pray that your son is able to work through this and is able to find peace some day. God bless his little soul.
2006-06-07 06:50:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for you. My sister in law (12) was molested last year by her mother's boyfriend. She is a totally different kid now. Its truly unfortunate. It affects kids differently, so it is really hard to say, you should talk to his councilor (and really some aren't that great) but if you feel this is a good councilor perhaps you should talk to them and ask if you can sit in on one of their appointments and talk to your son in front of the therapist. They can offer a lot to help families over come things like this. When you have a mediator sometimes it is easier to work things out. I wish you luck, I am sure that sooner or later he will come around, but going through something so horrific isn't easy for anyone to overcome, ESPECIALLY children.
2006-06-07 06:46:43 · answer #5 · answered by #3 Due December 25th!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time and prayer. Just give him space and be there for him and let him know that you love him and you'll always be there for him. Bond with him in other ways like playing catch with a ball or fishing or riding bikes. He'll get over it but, it will take some time. Patients on your part also. Hope everything works out for you sir.
2006-06-07 06:46:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to look into some info on forgiveness, not because the teacher in any way deserves it but because it can be very therapeutic for the victims.
It is obviously a very difficult offense to forgive and healing will still take time but forgiveness can be very powerful.
2006-06-07 15:39:31 · answer #7 · answered by Jean E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its going to take time before hes close to you again but give time and space and the therapy will HELP!!I'm truly sorry for your family!!!!
2006-06-07 06:44:31 · answer #8 · answered by ANNABETH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may never be close to any man again it is a hard thing to get over i hope the teacher is in jail
2006-06-08 04:10:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it time.
that's all you can do. be a good dad and know that therapy and being there for him is what is best right now.
you have to put your own feelings aside and concentrate on what's best for him.
take care and truly hope things are well with your family.
2006-06-07 06:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by joey322 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋