Our friends kid is driving us nuts!?

Question

We are friends with a couple who have a daughter who is 7. We have known them since she was 3. She is an only child & will remain that way. Whenever they come over they have no control of the child. They do not know the meaning of consistancy or discipline. The child will run shrieking throughout our house if she doesn't get her way. Then the mom usually gives in. Or she will send the child on a time out for 30 seconds & then apologize to the child after doing it. The father has tried disciplining the child but mom overrides him at every turn. I have told the mom she needs to be consistant with the discipline. If she tells the child there will be consequences for her behavior, then she needs to deliver those consequences, not ignore the child, etc. We have two teen children and have dealt with this age before. Any suggestions as to what to say? WE have given this child timeouts, stating our house, our rules, & we don't allow shrieking, screaming and running through our house.

Answer 1

If they are REALLY your friends then you should be able to sit down and have a heart to heart with them. Tell them, from one friend to another, one parent with just a little more experience to the other. Then when the child starts acting out like that again in YOUR house then you take the upper hand! Like you said, your house your rules. Sit that child down, put the fear of God into her! Not that you'll hit her or anything but where she'll think next time, "Oh I can't do that here, I'll get into trouble that mommy can't get me out of!" And if your friends don't like it, they'll get over it if they're really your friends and see that your only trying to help.

Answer 2

I would let the parents know how uncomfortable the behavior of their daughter makes you feel. It's really up to the parents as to how they will discipline her. First of all, they need to start cooperating with each other. Their daughter is probably confused with dad saying "no" then mom giving in a moment later.

If the child's behavior doesn't improve after your talk with her parents, I would stop inviting them over. If they call, just tell them that you have other plans.

Answer 3

WOW. ok, to first consider, you have more elements against you then you have other. The child isn't yours, the mother is naive or ignorant, its not your place to dicipline, and you can't maintain a consistancy. My first answer would be to politely tell your friends you enjoy their company but that do not of their child. Or if thats not the case, then something under those lines. I also suggest IF you HAVE to stop the child, or dicipline, that you try to do it in-directly in front of the mother so she can get a sense of what to do. Also if fails continue, you may want to go to an minor extreme as everyone else gets it, but she doesn't. GOODLUCK.

Answer 4

It is hard to discipline someone elses child I worked in a daycare and I know there are limitations however maybe you should explain to the child she is not able to come to your house anymore because her behaivor is out of control. Or perhaps watch the child without the parents and see how she is. If she is still out of control perhaps the family needs counseling.

Answer 5

Politely ask the other parents to keep their daughter at their house until she can control her behavior as for the a** beating you are beyond wrong right now! I was beat as a child it wsa correction and all it was make me afraid of others always fearing they would hit me I discipline my kid's with time-outs and removing their favorite thing's (Barbies, Hot Wheels, etc.) and when they act up at other's houses my youngest mainly he has Autism I keep him away until his behavior calms down hitting a child is never the answer!

Answer 6

I can relate. I have a friend like that. My children were taught to respect other people's homes. Send them a booklet on child discipline. They don't have to know where it came from. You tell the child to stop acting that way. If they don't like it ,they can leave. Stop having them over. They are doing their child a big disservice. No one likes to be around a bratty kid. Send them these answers from this site. It might get their attention.

Answer 7

Tell your friend she cannot come over if she can't control her heathen assed progeny. I personally would whoop their asses if they ran through my home acting like savages. It sounds like your friend is one of those hippie parents who think kids should be negotiated with and bargained with like a Farangay trader, or something. They need a boot in their behinds, and an authority figure that they WILL respect and obey. They obviously take their mother for a joke. I have a friend whose kids are that way at their home, but when they come to my house, they straighten up and fly right, because they KNOW. Miss Tiki don't play that $hit.

Answer 8

You have already done all you can. Just keep telling the mom and disciplining the child when she is there.

Answer 9

I would tell then that if they can't have control of their child then she won't be welcome in your house anymore. They will have to leave her at home and find a babysitter (which I'm sure must be very hard for them if she really is the little terror you make her out to be).

Also maybe you should recommend their family for Nanny 911 or Super Nanny.

Answer 10

Tell her that she needs to stop being so soft and tell her when ever she starts crying just because she doesn't get her way pop her with a belt or switch and sit her in a room with no tv or games so that she'll learn her lesson.