My fiance and I are planning on getting married next April in the Smoky Mountains. We'd like to have a private wedding, just the two of us, and then honeymoon in a cabin in the mountains. He had mentioned possibly inviting his family to go with us, even though his mother clearly can not stand me, and calls him two or more times a week, to tell him that he should move out and not marry me.
My parents are divorced, and do not speak, and my brother and sister do not speak either, and I would like to have no stress on my wedding day, and advoid my feuding family, and his mother who does not like me, and just have a private cermony for us, and a reception the weekend after we return for our family and friends.
My fiance now says he agrees with me, but do you think this will cause his mother to hate me even more? Or should we do what we want to do, because it's our wedding day, not hers?
2006-06-07 05:06:05 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
When I was getting married we had trouble with families too. My husband's mother doesn't like me either and anything I do just isn't right and both of my parents are remarried - what a hassle. Anyway, I am gonna pass onto you the best words of advice that I received about this issues, from my beloved Step Father:
"When you get married and 'put on a wedding' it is the first thing that you 2 do in public as a team - you are setting the stage for the rest of your lives and they way you do things says a lot about how you will be perceived by yourselves and others as a team. You need to get married in your own way and begin your life together in a style that you both can be proud of and live with."
It sounds to me that you can either start off your life together with the same recurring theme of family angst that has been present all along, or you can make this marriage about the 2 of you and how you will focus on the family you are creating and do things differently in your future, than the last generation.
I vote that you go alone and really enjoy a private romantic wedding alone. You can always have a small public ceremony or party with family afterwards.
2006-06-07 05:51:31 · answer #1 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you want to do. Don't worry about your future mother-in-law. Yeah she will probably use this as an excuse to not like you even more, but if she didn't have this, she would just come up with something else. So have a special wedding with your husband and no one else. It would clearly be a mistake to invite family members in this situation. If they don't understand, then just tell them like it is.
2006-06-07 14:20:52 · answer #2 · answered by jack russell girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This subject was brought up at my bridal shower concerning a friends family member.
Our answer to her was--go ahead do the wedding destinational but come home and have a reception invite all those whom you didnt invite to the wedding. If they show great if they don't your not out the hurt at your wedding regardless
2006-06-07 15:46:54 · answer #3 · answered by Gena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is absolutely up to you both!!! :) I must say that I would do the same thing if I was in your boat.
I also know friends who did the same. They got married somewhere privately and then had a private ceremony a week later when they got back.
It is YOUR wedding!
Hope this helps.
Congrats on the engagement!
2006-06-07 12:16:15 · answer #4 · answered by LNM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely do what you want to do! The key thing in all of it is that you two will be married... and if your wedding will be such a stress that that importance will be lost? Then I say go elope and have a wonderful life together.
BTW -- EXCELLENT choice of location.
2006-06-07 13:25:18 · answer #5 · answered by dsc1110 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is from Oregon and my family is from all over the East. We were in Florida when we met and married. His family couldn't afford to fly out and I didn't think it was fair for my family to be there if his wasn't. We eloped, just the two of us. I still want to have a ceremony one day but it's that important to me. It your decision. Do as you please.
2006-06-07 12:20:56 · answer #6 · answered by proud_usmc_wife04 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and do it. Your family is too split up to be invited and be happy on your wedding day. As for your mother-in-law, you don't want her at your wedding.
2006-06-07 12:14:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow. I am going through the exact same thing. Honey do whatever you want to do. It is not up to everyone else to decide on how you feel. Do not let anyone make you or your hubby change your plans.
2006-06-07 13:08:15 · answer #8 · answered by cooky_monster 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eloping is getting married with just you and your intended and the minister and a witness... having anyone else along is optional
2006-06-07 13:36:52 · answer #9 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is you & your fiance's own personal choice. Truthfully, I wouldn't want the drama either. In the end all that really matter sis making yourself happy...good luck in whatever you decide:-)
2006-06-07 12:36:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋