am I selfish for wanting to go to college?

Question

I am a 36 year old woman that has been is college for 3 years now. I cant get a job full time to help with the bills I can only work part time at jobs that will work around my school schedule, so they dont pay much, I have 2 kids that I homeschool and they miss me cause I am gone so much, and i am just burning out i think because the degree that i am going for is 4 more years. I feel so guilty like i should just forget school and work and stay home. i dont mind staying home and i miss so much of my kids life. what should i do? forget school or stick it out.

let me add more info here, my kids are 15 and 16 if that helps. they also take college classes and if you are answering my question with a negitive remark about my homeschooling them they please dont resond. I am asking a totally different question not on wether i should homeschool or not. they are happy being homeschooled.

Answer 1

Kids are extremely important to a mother. Without their parent, they are more easily to be trapped in doing something wrong and more likely it would occur with you going to school and working to pay the bills. I understand perfectly what you are going through because I have a 1 yr old son and I went to school and had a part time job. I hardly saw him and I realized he missed me so much. I quit school because he got so sick. I am grateful I did that because when he gets older, he always have me there right behind him and more likely he won't get into too much trouble knowing his mother is there always spending time with him and loving him. I think what you should do if you may, is take online college courses at home and work part time. So at least you are home! Your kids come 1st in your life and if you aren't there to watch over them; you'll lose them. I've seen this happen! But its your own choice. Many people will probably tell you to finish your dream and to go to college, but your kids didn't ask to be born. You're the person that responsible for their well-being and health. I know you love them, but let them know you love them with your actions. Take courses online and work part time, so you'll see them and they won't feel betrayed. You are their world.

Answer 2

You are not selfish. You are providing an exemplary example of a mother, a parent and a student. College life is no walk in the park, certainly not once you have made a life. Stick it out. You are half way there. Don't do this all in vain. It's horrible when you have to "choose" and make sacrifices. Sometimes it doesn't seem worth it. In the end, you will show your kids just how hard life can be without an education, and the sooner one pursuits his educational dreams, the easier it will be, because he will have that support/ foundation that life after 30 doesn't provide. Trust me, I know. I am kind of in the same situation, only I don't have kids. I have managed to put myself through school for the last 2.5 years and working over 60 hours a week. But now that I am half way, I can't work like I used to and it is making me feel guilty. On the other hand, my soon to be husband in 8 weeks is very supportive and encouraging. I work 2 days a week now and spend most of my day studying. When I am all done, I will have my master's degree and he will be able to attend college, because we will then be financially secure. If I had attended college right out of high school, things probably would have been better in the sense that I may have had a little less worry about bills and such. But, like you, I am over 30 years old and in some ways, I feel like I am a late bloomer. Oh well, better late than never. Besides , you would never forgive yourself for not completing college and you would always be resentful of those you made the sacrifices for and you weren't able to obtain your goal

Answer 3

this is a really difficult question. I guess it depends on where your priorities lie. How old are your children? How often are you gone? Are you affecting their lives by not being home? Is there a degree that would not take as much time? What about online classes? I take online classes through the University of Phoenix and I LOVE IT. It allows me to be at home and complete work on my own time - it's an amazing program and I would highly recommend it. Also, would it be possible for you to complete the degree when they get a little older? No, I do not think you are selfish for wanting to get your degree, but in the end, which is going to matter more? The relatinoship you have with your children or your degree? There might be other options for you, such as online classes or a degree that does not take so much time.

Answer 4

The question become why are you going to school and how does it play into your future? If you are going to school for yourself and it won't mean a better life for you and your kids then yes, your being selfish. If on the other hand this is part of a long term plan for a your life and to make things better for your kids then no your not but maybe you need to adjust some things in your life. First off, your kids need interaction and if your not there enough maybe it would be better for them to go to school and not be home schooled. That would give them more attention that they deserve and designate more time for you to do work and school. Remember, life is about balance and you have to give and take to find that balance. If you won't send the kids to a regular school then you need to cut back on your schooling and consider a longer graduation plan so you don't have to spend so much time away from your kids.

Answer 5

YOu miss your kids cause you have spent much time with them. You may consider putting them in a school system as well. Ease the mind that you know they are getting and education while you are as well. This may also free up more hours for you to finish sooner.

You should never quit altogether. If getting a degree means on and off for a few years, than do it. Its what I have done. But I have learned a lot about myself, my profession, and running my business, that had I not gone to school, would keep me from being as efficient and successful as I am. Not braggin, just saying, I can now sleep at night and know that I can pay for my son's college, pay for my roof, and pay for my bad habits. *wink*

Without an education of some sorts, a lot of what I was able to accomplish wouldnt have happened.

Answer 6

Tough decision. Depends on how old your children are. I think if they are in their teens they need you. (though they won't admit it) If the kids are little, they are resilient and will do OK. Your education can make their later years richer, especially if they see you attempting to get a degree.

But it IS tough, I know. At some point we need to count the cost and make a decision based on it's rewards. Most people don't plan to fail, they fail to plan. What does that mean? In your case, the cost could be too high right now. There is always later (assuming you can resume your education).

When people don't lay plans they just float through life as flotsam, with no clear defined purpose other than to make more flotsam (our children). But if we plan then our children learn to plan too, and start at an earlier age. My father failed to plan. And I was a late start too, but I did it, BS in Quality Engineering. Of course my kids are all gone now (4 of them), so it was easier for me.

But whatever you decide, make a clear plan, not just for today but for tomorrow and the following years to come. With a little luck those plans will be able to be fulfilled.

Good Luck.

Answer 7

Are the children still home-schooled? If so, how in the world do you pull that off?

It could be that they miss you so much because they are used to being around you 24/7. It may be healthy to send them to public school, which might help with your schedules as well. Then, after school, you would all have new things to talk about when you're spending quality time together.

And you're not being selfish about going to school. It sets a very good example for them (my mom just graduated from college at 57, and she has 3 daughters in college - we have to trail behind her 3.9 GPA, and graduating with honors, etc.).

Answer 8

In the end of this you will have your degree and you will be able to support your family the way you have always dreamed. It might be a struggle now but in the end it is worth it. Have you thought about being a part time student and working full time. Depending on the company they might help you pay for school. It all depends on what you are going to school for.

Good luck and don't give up.

Answer 9

Honey There is not one person that can tell you what you need to do. Only you can decide what is best for you and your children. have you ever though of going to school part time for a while? I understand that you will get behind but you are the one that wants it all. So you will have to decide if you want to spend more time with the kids or school. I know its tough but you are the one that will be missing so much of life.

Answer 10

It depends on what you want to do with the degree that you will be earning. If you are only getting it for self-satisfaction, then no, forget school. But if you are getting it so your family can live a better life, then I say go for it. You may struggle at first with family but that is always going to be a factor if you have a family to support while attending college or any graduate school for that matter. That decision has to be made by you.