how should i handle my sister in law?

Question

I had a baby two months ago and my sister in law has been telling me what to with the baby. She has two olders kids and i never tell her what to do with her kids. She will call me on the phone and ask me questions and then after i respond she will say will want to do this and that and i dont agree with everything she says cause my husband and I have our own plans on how we want to raise our baby. My baby sleeps in the bassinet part of a pack and play for now cause i am breastfeeding and it makes its easier at night for me and she tells people she cant believe that my husband and I do that like its a terrible thing.She also insists on being the babies godmother and my husband and I have someone that we picked out a while ago. She says she will not talk to us again if we dont let her be the godmother. How should I handle this?

Answer 1

Both you and your husband need to establish some ground rules. This is YOUR and YOUR HUSBANDS child, not hers. Politely, but firmly tell her that you will choose who are the Godparents of your child and then make your decision and stick with it (I can't imagine that you would want this meddlesome person as a Godmother). When she gives you unsolicited advice you need to break in the conversation and again politely state that you are not willing to discuss child rearing with her. If she persists you need to tell her that you are hanging up, say good-bye, and then follow through. Your husband needs to back you up in this matter. Make sure you talk this through with him so that he isn't caught in the middle. You don't need to be rude to her, just firmly stand your ground. Good luck.

Answer 2

First, you're not doing a terrible thing keeping the baby in the bassinet part of the pack and play. And, it doesn't take me to tell you that she has crossed the line with her "advice." She is your family, but right now she's driving you crazy, but don't say that to her of course. Tell her you love her and appreciate her help and interest and don't want to hurt her feelings, but you and your husband have your own plans for the baby. Just keep saying it over and over again or say nothing when she starts in, but don't get into a dialog with her. Proceed with the plans that you have for the baby's Godmother and don't be intimidated by her or her threats. She'll just have to make her own decisions, but she shouldn't be imposing her will on you. Good luck.

Answer 3

This is for sure one of those "easier said than done situations" I personaly see nothing wrong with where ur baby is sleeping as mine (all 6 of them)slept in a playpen bassinet,until they where about 3 months old due to the fact that i also breastfed and aswell had c-sections.People like her are never easy to deal with and there is never a productive way of dealing with them that isnt going to cause hard feelings.While most over advice giving people are just trying to be helpful they more often than not just make things very confusing and tense.My advice to u would b to have a sit down with her and just tell her how u feel and why, try to be as gentle as possible tho just in case one day u do need a little advice.Unlikely this is going to help much,but sometimes its reassuring to know that ur not alone and people understand how u feel. Good luck with ur new babes and the sister-in-law hun~*~ :)

Answer 4

tell her you don't want her to be the Godmother, then enjoy the silence !!
really, tell her that you want to experience your new baby in your way and part of that is finding out things on your own. Also, try telling her that all children (and families) are different in how they handle things, it doesn't make one right or wrong.
Then try telling her that you've talked the doctor and everything is going just fine. And ask to see her doctor's diploma.
ps - my two children slept in a large (very comfy) stroller for the first month. geez - when they are babies- what ever keeps them asleep, my son would sleep half the night in the swing. It works well when they have a cold and it's hard to breathe laying down.

Answer 5

Don't answer the phone when she calls for one thing. You need to tell your husband that he needs to tell her to back off. It's his sister, it'll be better coming from him. Don't talk to her but what you have to. Be nice just don't be best friends. She is obviously a busybody with nothing to do.
As far as being the godmother, she's already an aunt. Why would she need to be a godmother as well. If you really can't tell her no, just don't have a godmother or godfather. It isn't necessary. Good Luck.

Answer 6

Well as far as her suggestions on what to do on raising the child just take them in and do what u wanna do...it happens to all of us when we have a baby there is ALWAYS someone who wants to tell how to do it and when to do it but just don't listen..do what u feel is right :) As far as the godmother thing..this is important to you and your husband and you need to explain this to her and let her know that it was a hard decision but you both have decided to what is best for the both of you and if she don't understand then maybe it will do u to good to have a break she will come back around..she is family they always come back around

Answer 7

she probably just thinks she is being helpful in some way. If I were you I would tell her how I feel about it. My sister has 5 kids, but she doesn't butt in to my life and tell me what to do with my son. She don't tell me anything unless I ask and I respect her for that and not being bossy. She has helped me alot in some ways, but only when asked. Tell your sister in law that you will ask for her opinion, but if you don't then you don't want it. And as far as the godmother thing goes, tell her it was a process of elimination and she was eliminated, and if she don't talk to you for a while, who cares?

Answer 8

Sounds like she has given you the perfect out. Choose the person you already picked as the Godmother. If this woman stops talking to you over something like this, she was not worth talking to in the first place. Forget trying to be nice and polite, this woman is being an interfering b...ch and she needs to butt out.

Answer 9

Tell her to take a hike...

The child is yours, you will find your way of dealing with things... It is a very steep learning curve... It is nice of people to give you little bits of advice if invited, but not take over...

She sounds like a pain, just ignore her... And tell her to get her own baby... As for being Godmother, find someone you trust...

Answer 10

you already had picked someone. only the parents pick who is going to be asked to be the godmother and godfather. you dont have to listen to all her ideas for raising your child. if there is some good ones that you and your husband agree on do it, the rest just ignore it.