Is it bad to tell your children to clean their plate?

Question

I don't actually use the words "clean your plate" but that is basically the message I am sending. I have a 5 and 3 year old. My 3 year old is the worst about not eating. Am I going to make her overweight? I am always telling her she can't have any milk until she eats her food "all gone". Is that going to give her a mindset that she should always eat everything on her plate instead of eating until she is full. I am so confused!

So far great answers. When I say my 3 year old isn't eating....I mean she rarely eats anything on her plate. Portions are not a problem. She's tiny and I give her tiny portions. I just want her to eat SOMETHING. And, when she does, I tell her to eat all of it.

Answer 1

This is a personal parenting preference. Regardless of advice you get, ultimately you have to decide this.

That being said, in my opinion it's more important that kids get a balanced diet. If they're leaving half their dinner and half an hour later they're asking for cookies, then yes by all means, be more strict about finishing their meal. I've found that "clear your plate" makes dinner a battle, and I pick my battles!

If your kids aren't filling up on snacks throughout the day, then it might be better to just institute a rule about at least tasting everything on their plate, or eating all of their meat or vegetables and half of everything else. Again, this is provided they're not running for chips and cookies shortly after dinner.

Answer 2

Sounds like you know the answer already :)

How do you determine how much food to put on their plates? How do you know that it is enough or not too much?
Do you put more on the plate during growing spurts, less when she's tired?
As you know all of these things, and more, effect a child's appetite. So who are you to decide exactly what quantity of food she will eat? Could someone fill your plate and get the exact quantity of food right for your appetite???

Let them eat until they are full only. Also, remember a 3 year old is going to be very distracted with the world around them and sitting down to a meal means she has to stop so it's ok if mealtime "adjusts" a little to accommodate her. Most children at 3 snack through the day and don't sit for a full meal, perfectly normal.

(You will not make her overweight you will just send a message that she should eat even when not hungry to please others)

Answer 3

Telling a child to "clean your plate" does teach the child to ignore their bodies telling them when they are full. My dad was brought up like that and is overweight. I was never told to clean my plate and am average size.

Your child will eat when she's hungry. At that age, my son would pick at his food for days then all of a sudden eat everything in sight (he's almost a teen now and eats non-stop, but is as skinny as a rail). I'm not an expert, but I think it has to do with energy levels for the day and any growth spurts. On days that he wasn't that hungry, I would cover the food, put it in the fridge, and tell him that he couldn't have any junk food until he ate his meal. If he chose to eat fruits or vegetables or drink milk instead of eating his meal, I let him. That way, it was a healthy snack, which may be just what he wanted (have you ever had a day where you only wanted to eat a bowl of cereal for a meal?), and it didn't take any extra preparation (I refuse to cook twice for one meal).

At their ages, I wouldn't concern myself with wasting food. The amount that they eat at that age is not a whole lot anyway.

Answer 4

Well, my mother used to make me eat everything on my plate, and I got into that habit, even when I was full. It took me about 2 years to retrain myself, and my weight fluctuated constantly throughout my teen years. As a mother, I know my kids go through stages where they will not want to eat as much ( especially in the summer), so sometimes all we will have for dinner is a vegetable/fruit salad for lunch or dinner, with milk or juice. I do not force them to eat everything, but make it clear that they must have something of nutritional substance. My family doctor also told me that nutrition/ protien shakes were good when they go through this stage. I wouldn't worry too much unless you notice your kids are losing weight. It is hard to get out of the habit of eating everything when that is how you were brought up. Also, it generally is not healthy. When you do not want to eat,or do not eat that much, there is a reson( maybe your body doesn't need the food?) You can always take them to the doctor to make sure there is not an underlying problem if you are worried. Sorry this is so long.....

Answer 5

Studies have shown that the "clean you plate" attitude leads to all kinds of eating disorders, not just obesity. I give my kids small portions and the rule is to try one bite of everything on the plate. If they want second helpings, that's great. They are never forced to eat. But if they don't finish their dinner and ask for a snack later, I remind them that they didn't finish what was given to them earlier and they have to eat what's left of their dinner first. I also give them water instead of milk or juice with meals (except breakfast).

I gained a lot of weight at one point when I worked with several overweight people who made fun of me for not eating as much as they did when we went out for lunch. I know that sounds silly for a grown person, but I really felt out of place. So I would eat even after I felt full just to fit in. I finally started bringing my lunch and eating in the break room by myself every day to lose the weight.

Answer 6

I know what you mean! I used to think like this too. I think you can normally tell if they really really don't like what is on their plate or if they are trying it on to get to the dessert part quicker! I always say to mine try anything new, how do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it (although I do that myself!) Apparently you can keep putting a new thing on their plate 20 times before they actually try it AND eat it! This worked with peas with one of mine. What I do now is compromise, I say ok eat 2 more spoonfuls of this and 3 more of that, then they think they have done well. Half the time I do that they end up eating it all up anyway! Hope this is of some help, and Good Luck!

Answer 7

DON'T DO IT!!! When you make your child clean his plate, you are sending the message that he should not listen to his own tummy, he should just eat everything he sees. Bad idea.

Children will not starve themselves. Starving is a very unpleasant thing. They will surly let you know long before they are at that point. If your 3-year old won't eat, then he's not hungry. Plain and simple. Just make sure that he has healthy choices of things to eat when he is hungry.

Seriously...don't make a huge deal about eating now, or that's all your children will think about in their adult lives. My husband's family grew up this way, and now they all struggle with weight, 2 of them have eating disorders, and all they think about is FOOD!!! (My husband has a stomach virus right now and STILL can't help eating all day! He does not pay attention to his stomach, he just eats out of habit.)

Answer 8

Isn't parenthood such a guilt trip ! First, treat milk as a food, not a beverage. It's easy to slip a little extra protein ( powered protein, protein rich yogurt ) into milk if you have to.

Next, I tell my kids to eat until they are full. Keep an eye on them ( that's the hard part ! ) You can tell when they are eating or playing. I still have to spoon feed my nearly 5 year old because she's using her mouth for chatting, not chewing !

Personally, I let my kids serve themselves at dinner. That way, they get a chance to make ( some ) decisions as to what they eat and how much. Remind them to take what their stomach's can hold, not their eyeballs. Also, it gives you the leverage to say, " You took that amount, now you eat that amount ! "

Answer 9

I have a rule that my kids have to finish their dinner-- no matter what. There is nothing wrong in telling your kids to "clean your plate", as long as there's a reasonable amount on their plate. Make sure you only put the amount of food that your child can handle. My children's plate will stay at the table until they go to bed and they are not allowed to eat anything else until their plate is clean. My older two I don't have any problems with them eating their dinner because they have learned our family rule, but my younger ones have a harder time. They will learn, just stick to it.

Answer 10

Yes that is a bad thing to do because in the long run he will become overweight what u should do is give a smaller severing of food and as long as she eats most of that then shes fine because she knows how much she can eat right now just give her time she will eat everything soon.