How do I stop my 3 year old from crying and whining?

Question

My little guy just cries and whines about everything. We have started telling him to go to his room until he stops, but then he stays in his room and cries forever. Any suggestions on reasoning with him on this issue?

Answer 1

Depending on the personality of the child has alot to do with their nature. He may just need more attention from you than some children need from their parents. I have raised 2 children and they each were as different as daylight and dark. Your attitude toward him also has alot to do with his whines and cries. If it upsets you and he knows it he may whine more. Sometimes the more attention you pay to something the more the child will do it.

Answer 2

First of all, you definitely need to find out what is causing the crying. As adults, we assume that one thing or another is disturbing a child. Sometimes we assume that the child just wants to make noise. That, of course, is not always the case. The child may have wet himself or have a stomachache. What ever the case, I would take him to the doctor and have him fully examined. If your doctor is going to talk to you off of the cuff, then that will not be of any use to you or your child. Make sure that the doctor takes your concerns seriously and then you can figure what to do from that point. How does your child interact with other children? There are many reasons why a child acts a certain way. Sometimes there may be something that the child fears about a family member, friend, or playmate. Watch your child closely so that no one is bullying him. We, as adults, just sometimes forget that a child is trying to tell us something. This is why the child may persist until you find out what specifically he or she is trying to relay to you. I wish you peace. God Bless.

Answer 3

An option is to become a "broken record." For example, when my 2 1/2 yr. old son gets tired he asks in a very whiny voice, "I want my milk." I say, "I'm sorry, I can't understand you when you talk that way." When he continues to whine, I continue to say, "I'm sorry, I can't understand you when you talk that way." After about three times, I say, "When you are ready to talk to mommy nicely, I'll be in the living room (or whatever room) and I walk away.
Another option is to acknowledge what he's crying or whining about. For example, my son crys/whines about going to bed. He says, "I don't want to go to bed." I tell him, "I know you don't, but the clock says it's time to go to bed." Again, I'll say it 2-3 times.
Last, sometimes he just gets cranky and whines, so I ignore him. I remove myself from the room.
I know my son gets very cranky when he's tired and that usually when he crys for reasons other than being hurt. It may be possible that your son isn't getting enough sleep. Keep a log of the times when your son is whining. Maybe you'll see a specific time and then you could have him nap before that, or maybe go to bed earlier. Good luck. My friends who have 3 year olds or older tell me 3 is the most trying year and that it gets better.

Answer 4

I too have a son that does the same. The only thing so far that has helped is to reinforce to him that he is now a big boy and he can use real words to tell me what he wants. I say things like..."your such a big boy and you don't need to cry all the time. When you cry, mommy doesn't know what you need, but If you tell me, then I can help you". I just try to stay positive and I have found that slowly it is paying off. I find that with my son it is more for attention that he resorts to whining. I now make a point of telling him to "tell me using his words, and not to get mad". Remain calm and it will pay off.

Answer 5

Sending your son to his room is fine, unless his room is full of toys and games for him to play with. Try sending him to a guest room, or another room in the house where there is nothing for him to do. And no matter how difficult it is for you to listen to him crying and whining, don't ever give in! If you tell him "no" and he whines about it, giving in will only reinforce that crying will get him what he wants.

Another way of going about this is to talk to him about it. I know it sounds strange, but ask him why he is upset. When he says something like "because I want my toy," ask him "Why do you think I won't give it to you?" And then proceed to explain your reasons. This doesn't work for every child, but it is worth a shot!

Answer 6

Your son is obviously strong willed, because he continues to cry after being sent to his room. Since, has not worked, try offering him reward incentives for not crying and whinning. If he has a favorite cartoon character, tell him that big boys like, ex: spiderman or superman don't cry and whine. They talk and are strong and powerful. Tell him Spiderman or Superman will have to put him in the cry baby room and cry babies are not allowed in the Super Hero Party. I did this with my 3 year old and it works. I don't allow him to whine for what he wants. He has to ask or he will not get it. Eventually when you refuse to give in, he will see that the manipulation or crying and whining will not work any more.

Answer 7

Tell him you can not understand him when he is crying or whining, And then walk away.Telll him you will listen to him when he is done. Make sure to give him a big hug when he stops and give him a lot of attention for talking and not whining. Don't try to reason with him while he is crying, he is probally unreasonable. Talk about it after.

Answer 8

It's nearly impossible to reason with a three year old! My youngest son (now 9) did that also. What worked on his older brother did not seem to work on him in the least. We also sent him to his room and he would wail like the hounds of hell were after him. I think they think if they can use persistence, they can wear you out!!

Just be firm and hang in there; eventually he'll realize you're not going to be swayed by his continued whining, and he'll figure out the sooner he calms down..the sooner he can come back out. Good luck!

Answer 9

Most tantrums like this concern him wanting attention, and given the fact that he's 3, that's all he typically wants. Try catching him being good and rewarding him for not whining. Remember, 3 year olds don't have much of a memory, so reward immediately. Typically verbal praise, hugs, and kisses will suffice. Tell him things like "Mommy and Daddy like it when you're quiet while watching tv." "You ate all your dinner! Good job, sweetie!" "You've been coloring very nicely."
In this way, he turns from seeking negative attention to seeking positive attention.

Answer 10

Be strict, fair and consistent (the most important). Offer rewards, if you can go a day without crying I'll buy you your favorite ice cream, but if you cry you can not watch a movie. If you send him to his room, keep a firm resolve, don't let him join you until he is better. Most likely it is a phase that he will (thankfully) grow out of.