Would you give your church $50,000 if you were just the average working Joe with kids to feed?

Question

I just got married and started going to my husbands church. I came at a time that they were having a building fund. This building fund requires that each couple in the church commit to giving the church $50,000 within the next five years which equalls up to about $934.00 a month coming out of our banking account. Now, even though my husband and I have five kids, and only make about $50,000 a YEAR between us both, he still considered making this commitment to the church, telling me that God will supply all of our needs regardless, as long as I have faith. Now the pastor of this church is upset that some people have not already given their pledge, he even holds entire services dedicated to this fact, which makes me uncomfortable knowing that we are one of the couples who have not given. We only have about 230 members at this church, and we can't even fill up the seats that we have now, but yet and still he wants to build a 7 million dollar church. I need help, please, what should I do?

Pastor believes that building this new church will have more people come, which will in turn, be saving more souls. A couple of people have left, but a LOT of people, the so called "leaders" of the church, have already given their 50,000, including my husbands parents. This is what they did, which Pastor suggested in a 30 minute picture slide,
1)Refinanced their homes
2)Cashed in their 401 k
3)Cashed in insurance policies(which he said we don't need death insurance because once you are dead, you are dead, so why not give that money to God)
4)Withdraw all of your personal savings out of the bank and give them to the building fund
So what we saw where over twenty couple going up to Pastor with their checks and giving them everything they had worked for. My mom said that with us having five kids and twins on the way, Shawns parents could have been a big help with their grandkids.

I want to thank all you wonderful people for taking the time out to respond to this. May God Bless!

Answer 1

Here is scripture that you need to follow.1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own,and specially for those of his own house,he hath denied the faith,and is worse than an infidel. I have raised 5 kids of my own and 1 I adopted and can tell you from experience that God has blessed me in everything I have put my hands to for keeping this saying in my heart and not letting anyone sway me,although the kids daddy wasn't around and I never made that much money the truth applies just the same.

Answer 2

It doesn't sound like you feel this is right so what do you need help with? It's not like the church with the biggest steeple gets it's members closer to God. This sounds more like an ego trip for the pastor. If your church is not even filling up then why make a bigger one? Is it like the field of dreams "Build it and they will come" There are so many people in this world hungry and your pastors thoughts are to build a bigger church that isn't needed? Follow your heart. You don't need a building to be close with God. God is everywhere. What happens if one of your kids need that money with in the next 5 years? People can get sick unexpectedly. If God will supply all your needs maybe he will supply your pastor with the new church he wants. My advice would be don't do it. Don't sign anything that obligates you this much. The monthly amount is more than some pay for mortgage. You could buy a new home for you and your kids for that. Or put it away for college. Follow your own instincts and make sure your husband agrees with you.
Love & Light
Sharon

Answer 3

Sounds like the church is living beyond it's means and using the good will of the congregation as the credit card. This IS excessive. You should only give what you feel you can...no more...no less. Tell your husband, "Jesus wasn't a bank robber." What I see happening is the project starts with many people committing and then half way thru things come up...things like kids, car accidents, braces for the kids, a death in the family...something that will change the way each and every member of the congregation spends money. The question isn't if you can get the money to start....the question is...will you have the money to finish? If you only make $50000 per year you are committing way too much of your own disposable income for this church. This is not an easily answered question because it deals with a sensitive and controversial purpose. Do what you can, God doesn't care about the size of your church (or wallet).

Answer 4

That is quite a committment they are asking for. Seems a bit extreme for a Pastor to ask (pressure) every member of the congregation for a 5 year committment of that magnitude.

Here are a few questions I would have for you:

1. Does this pastor have a heart for the people of the church, or is his interest in building a large congregation?

2. Does this pastor have a heart for the lost (un-saved)?

3. It sounds like his focus is spent much of the time talking about money. Is he theologically correct on other issues?

4. What Bible verses does he use to justify this request for giving?

5. Why is your husband considering this action? Is he not willing to stand up to the pastor and say "no, I can't make that committment?" Has money become his main focal point, and he just wants to make God his focus and not money? Has he asked for God's wisdom and direction, and feel he's been directed to do this?

6. Will you have to borrow money in order to keep this committment? There are many scriptures dedicated to the issue of borrowing money.

Now, you say your husband considered this. Sounds like he hasn't committed to this yet. Is he still considering it, or are you both just feeling the pressure from the pastor?

Okay, enough of my questions? Certainly I'd be hesitant, and if it were me, would probably be looking for another church. Without knowing any more details, something sounds fishy.

On the other hand, if your husband decides this is something he needs to do, trust in the Lord. He is faithful.

The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.
- Proverbs 22:7

Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.
- Romans 13:87

Answer 5

I seen how these " pastors " live a great life at the expense of the people that go to the church. New cars, big homes etc etc... Think about your kids. This pastor is surely thinking about his. As for the upset "pastor " .. maybe he needs to go work his butt off like everyone else. I am not against church but please be real. Where I live at.. a " pastor : who came from the other side of the island with nothing but a "circus" type church now has a multi-million dollar contruction porject going on. And one person who was not able to " give " the donation was kicked out of the church. This " pastor " even came to my home one time with my cousin to give me a consultation. Heck I was taking a bank to court and there was a possibility of MONEY. This is all many see now. I of course sent him on his merry way... Haven't seen him ever again come around my home. Al in all good luck and truly my GOD bless you and your family.

Answer 6

Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place!

From a Catholic perspective, the church can suggest a given amount, but it's up to the individual donors how much they actually give. the Church only asks that it's parishioners give what they can, whether it's a lot or a little. Such is the essence of charity.

The pastor is free to "suggest" $50,000 per family, but, realistically, shouldn't actually expect to get that much from all his parishioners simply due to the fact not everyone can afford to.

He is certainly wrong in demand any money from parishioner, much less demand upwards to $50,000! Frankly, my personal opinion is that the pastor is reckless to consider such an expensive project, and then place this financial over-burden on such a relatively small number of family parishioners.

I think it's funny that the pastor is so upset. Did he really expect to extort 230 families? That's what this amounts to you know - extortion.

God Bless those who can afford the pastor's request and have paid up. But you are right - there's no way the average family can afford that fee, and your pastor is flat-out dead-wrong to draw attention to those familes who have not/can not afford this ridiculous demand of his.

Don't be surprised if you see an exodus of families bail out on this church of yours. You and your husband might consider doing the same thing. There are other churches fit to give praise to God in, and you'll save a heck of a lot of money in the process.

God will supply you with everything you need to complete your purpose here on Earth. But - what if your purpose lies with another church? This could be God's way of telling you to move to another parish in which you and your husband can fulfill your purposes.

God bless your husband for wanting to help out the pastor. He's very noble in his faith. But again, this is extortion and extortion is profoundly unchristian.

God loves children because of their innocence. He loves your children. God would rather you invested that 50-grand on them, rather than sit idly by while a misguided pastor extorts it from you - damaging your entire family.

The family is Sacred to God. Protect it. It would be best if you and your family found another pastor, another house of worship.

Answer 7

God does want us to give, but we're not supposed to be guilt-tripped into it. Futhermore, God will provide for all of our needs, yes, but this 7 million dollar church sounds like more of a 'want' than a 'need.' There's no reason to assume God would want them to spend that amount of money on an incredibly large building when the current one is not even full and there are more pressing matters the money could be used for.

I recommend praying, which I'm sure you're already doing, but keep at it. Ask God to give you the answer, and maybe that answer will be to give the money. Maybe it will be to discuss with your husband - and possibly pastor - that the demands are unreasonable. Maybe it will be for you to find a new church that doesn't twist Scripture to enforce outrageous donations. God bless!

Answer 8

What right does this guy have to demand money from you like this to build a new church? What right does he have to deprive you and you family of a reasonable lifestyle. What right does God place on you to hand over you hard earned cash for his benefit?
I suggest that you contact the head office of this supposed church and voice you opinions and how outraged you are at being told you must do this? This is plain bullying, if it was a requirment to build a new church they would have fundraisers and the church itself will foot the vast majority of the bill, not the church goer's.
Put it this was 50,000 per year is approx. 4000 per month. Say your mortage is (random figure) 1750 a month, car replayments 500 per month, utility bills 300 per month, food 400 per month, clothes for the kids 300 per month, petrol for the car 250 per month, and some left over for other things - the math dont add up, you will physically not be able to survive finacially and lets not forget about personal savings when times are hard or even summer holiday for you and the kids, Christmas what you going to tell the kids when you cant afford presents for them? Your pastor is decieving and making you feel guilty - to me that is no pastor. You have a choice to make, let your family survive or become in debt. I know which one I would choose. Family first religion second.

Answer 9

i am an average working joe and i just wish i had 50k......see here where i live the average joe is lucky to have anything left after bills and food and of course our newest bill...GAS. but I always said if i won the lottery i would help my family and pay off the church i go to so they dont have a mortgage, and finish fixing up the church. but no as far as committing to paying over a time frame...it is rude to tell the congregation to pay...they should offer that situation on a volunteer basis and do fundraisers...this is where community outreach comes in handy......i dont think i could commit at least not with a lot of prayer about it.....just seek it out through prayer......and the passtor holding services specifically devoted to $$$$ issues...that is something you should red flag....money hungry is not good...if the pastor is wanting this so bad, maybe he should pray it through also. I would go to him and ask for a written out plan and objective....see the works in writing because he cant just wake up one day and say hey i want 50k per member to build a bigger church...he had to have done some research first, and if he cant produce, be leary that he may take money and run

Answer 10

Is this church building mega fancy, or just purely large with a few amenities? The Early New Testament Churches did not require elegant structures and often had out door services (refer to Jesus teaching people in the open air). They went house to house but always with one overseer (pastor) in given areas.

When you give to God's service it is true that God will supply your needs. My dad had been blessed with property (not extravagant frivolities) a new Car and other things that when he looked at the books - HE COULD NOT AFFORD THEM! On paper the math just did not work, yet all his bills and so forth were paid on time with very few exceptions.

People can mock about God all they want, be faith in him results in marvelous things that cant be explained logically (the same applies for creation).

You should pray about the matter, and discuss it with your husband more. If this church is all about appearances and how to keep up with the Mega Elite Churches - forget it, Jesus is not about aesthetics but saving souls and growing in him.