do you think it's better to live with someone first before marrying them so that you know each other's habits? or is it better to just go straight into marriage? just curious about ppl's opinions
2006-06-06 19:58:31 · 94 answers · asked by vhershie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is wrong to do this, but if you are asking me and not God, yes I would
2006-06-06 20:00:23 · answer #1 · answered by sprinkle73448 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first marriage we were very religious and didn't live together. I went into the second marriage without living together either because of the religious background and being married the first time for 24 years. Big regret. While living together may be sin and all...I never want to be locked into a relationship where I don't know the person. If living with someone is what it would have taken to know my second ex well then that is what I should have done. This man was a fraud and took me for my pensions and the works. Being with him a year would have exposed him. Big regret. He has left me so scared of relationships. Next time if there is one....I will get to know the person much better before risking anything.
2006-06-20 15:05:00 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no statistics supporting living together before marriage. What I mean is that marriages don't last longer if the couple lived together before they took their vows. In my experience, it's a bad thing to do, because there are often a lot of things that you're partner will not do while you're living together, but once you get married, everything comes out because they feel like it's ok then. Personally, I think people should wait until they get married to live together. You'll have a better chance of being willing to work through differences versus thinking that you know a person and then having new things sprung on you after the wedding.
2006-06-20 13:14:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's better to wait for marriage to live together. First of all, a lot of people think you need to be "sure" before marriage by going thru a trial run. But there are no guarantees in life. Ironically, more people get divorced that live together before marriage than those who don't live together before marriage. The reason is one word: commitment. People who don't live together before marriage are more likely to believe in a divorce is not the option marriage. What that means is that divorce is only acceptable in extreme situations (ie, safety/abuse, or other serious problems). What divorce is not an option does mean, though is that you are committed to working issues out because you have that commitment. So, don't rush into the relationship. Take your time and really get to know the person. Sex can wait until you are committed.
2006-06-20 07:25:24 · answer #4 · answered by Searcher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the person and their values as well.
You don't have to necessarily live with someone to get to know their habits etc. If either person lives on their own already just spending alot of time together in that way will show what they are like.
I also think age plays a part in it as well, are you young and adjustable, or older and more set in your ways?
Personally I take the live together option because some people do change alot after you live with them, it's best to find out before you commit to marriage in case you can't handle it.
2006-06-06 20:03:13 · answer #5 · answered by having_a_blonde_day_lol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on your belief system. My preference is to live with someone first. You could date for years, but until you live with someone 24/7 you will never really know what this person is like. Remember, marriage is supposed to be forever and if, so far, you love everything about this person, move in together and be prepared to see a side of him/her you've never seen before. If all goes well, then you can feel comfortable about getting married. My apologies for those who disagree, but I've seen it. Living together shows you a whole other side to the person you love. Good luck in what ever decision you make.
2006-06-17 20:21:46 · answer #6 · answered by jimmyweda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is okay to spend alot of time together, even stay the night with one another occasionally ( if over 18 years of age.) But the funny thing is, when you are not married, you are always trying to keep it alive - The Relationship. but then when you marry, after the honeymoon all of a sudden a person starts thinking... I'm tired of this bull... So, A social worker would tell you, People live together for years and years, and then when they get married... they divorce with-in two years. ( look at all the celebrities... We all try harder when we marry before living together. It's like we have more to loose.
2006-06-20 19:26:11 · answer #7 · answered by 4mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I absolutely believe that if 2 people are thinking about marriage they definitly should live together under the same roof for a while and see how things work. This is a really good way to get to know your partner before you both take that next step. My brother lived with his now wife for about 2yrs before they finally got married. You just want to be sure that this is the person your gonna want to spend the rest of your life with and I cant think of a better way of doing it then to move in together and spend time together under one roof.....But, don't get me wrong, moving in with your partner is just as big of a decision as getting married is. How does the saying go...."Know the one your with" Most definitly.
2006-06-20 17:52:48 · answer #8 · answered by D.J B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON"T DO IT!!!!!!!
My wife and I lived toghether for a year before we got married it was a NIGHTMARE we were constantly bickering, basically we spent a year living inder the same roof avoiding each other as much as possible, then we got married, the commitment kicked in we worked things out instead of running away form each other,
trust me, get married move in and make it work is the BEST way period not just the right way.
Good Luck and God Bless
2006-06-20 19:24:06 · answer #9 · answered by Old Wise One 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both have their benifits. But I think more benifits arise from living together first. You get to know them inside and out. All the good habits and quirks and all the bad habits and quirks. Despite the saying "If you love them then you will accept their everything and will surrive marriage without living with them first..." you can't always know a person fully without living with them. Thier habits and quirks make them who they are. If you dont know all of that, then don't go off and marry that person. If religion is a consideration then dont stray from your beliefs, but dont go getting married until you know EVERYTHING about who that person is. Granted you wont know everything at once or even over a course of years, it takes a life time. But you will know if you can love that person good, bad, and ugly forever.
2006-06-20 12:18:58 · answer #10 · answered by footballlovin_girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOOOOOOOOOOO. I think you'd learn their habits but there's NOOOO commitment in the relationship so why later when you get married is there. There have been studies (learned about them a few yrs ago in college) and they say that most that marry after cohabitation later end in divorce then those who didn't cohabitation.... Don't cohabited, it's all convenience not commitment.
Go ahead and just get married if you love the person and want to spend the rest of eternity with them! Why wait???
2006-06-20 16:27:11 · answer #11 · answered by chariot804 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋