Mistaken Identity is a reason to end a 4 yr relationship?

Question

My boyfriend and I recently moved in together 5 months ago after a 3 1/2 year open relationship of being with other people and dating eachother.Great! I thought he was finally ready for committment-Im on top of the world right?! Now, after only 5 months of sharing a house and family he wants to move out over an ex-coworkers word against mine. His (female) ex-coworker claims she got unidentified, rude, text messages-and he "just knows it was me" I dont know the girl, and definetly didnt text message her, theres no reason to! So now he's telling me he is leaving our home, our relationship of 4 yrs. This cannot be a strong enough reason to end a relationship, I love him and tried everything to convince him it wasnt me but he wont even talk about it, What am I supposed to do? How can he be so ready to walk out on our family?

Answer 1

It sounds as though he is the one not being honest here. You're right, you don't end a four year relationship over something like this without at least talking about it. There has to be something else that he is not telling you. Perhaps he got scared after you moved in and decided he wasn't really ready to take that step after all and this is just his way of getting out of it. There could be lots of reasons, but one thing is for sure... without trust you have NO relationship. And right now, he doesn't trust you. Clearly he has some issues that he needs to deal with, and the best thing for you, hard as it may be, is to let him go for now. If you two are truely a match, he won't be gone for long. And if things don't work out, better now than several years from now when it would be even more painful. Breaking up is never easy and often leaves one or both people with hurt, confussion, and a lot more questions than answers. Try not to be so afraid of the pain that you loose yourself trying to please him, or judge him too harshly at a time when neither of you are at your finest. Give it time and you will both find your way through this, whether it's together or apart.

Answer 2

Can you hear me Now!?Girl girl girl,see ,thoughting got you in this position(smile),where there is no trust there,s no love?as you say you didn,t do such,cool if didn,t!but don,t be a pamela plank head!sitting licking the window on a yellow short bus!you are a strong female i can tell but sometimes get stuck on stupid,no offence!simply he got other plans trust!especially if he can,t be bother,don,t drown self in someone elses guilt girlfriend!men do some stupid stuuf then come crawling back when get dumped a few times along the way of seperation,tough,it isn,t bout that text message,check out the rude,unidentified ex-co-worker!and being used for conveiance is something else!he isn,t in love with you!stil wanna adventure abit ,nine out of ten,if were this easy as you say.what you should do,girl find your strenght within,pray to the good lord up above!and let him go if that,s his choice!you stil have years ahead to find what you seek or whom may be that person for your life this dude is not right,why?go through all that?He should have bagged you up 100% and more if was real with you and beleived what you say!%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%,are missin somewhere,so he will go ,and let him,his lost!

Answer 3

No, it is not a reason (how lame!) but it is an excuse. If he really wants out, he's gonna go sooner or later. And guess what? He may THINK he wants to be with this other so-n-so (betcha that's what's really going on, he's just too much of a coward to be honest enough to say so) but he'll end up getting tired of her as well and wanting to crawl back in your bed. That's when you get to tell him off...be a lady, let him go, but if there are financial questions (or child/ren involved) see a lawyer and protect yourself and your interests. Remember: revenge is a dish best served cold....yummmmm....good luck, sugar. You'll find a REAL man someday, don't give up. (maybe the lawyer???)

Answer 4

I'm extremely sorry and sympathize for you but perhaps he is leaving not because of the texts but because he got into a steady reltaionship before he was ready. Or maybe he was cheating on you woth that co-worker but doesn't want to look like the bad guy. You don't need someone like that. Go out there and find a nice man with good intentions. Best of luck!

Answer 5

The text message thing is just an excuse to end the relationship.

Answer 6

dont worry about it sdounds like he was waiting for the chance to leave you and move out himself,be happy this happened you are free to be with your one true love when he comes your way find your soal mate and dont rush into any more relationships let him find you and treat you the way you should be treated no more with the loosers

Answer 7

i'd tell him to go f*** himself coz i didn't need his bullshit and move out. Someone who doubts with no proof like sounds like it's not doubt at all, just a blo0dy excuse to end the relationship coz they've lost interest. (or it's been diverted to somone else)

Answer 8

Whatever you do, DO NOT break up with him first! That will make HIM look like the good guy! It sucks, I know, but at least try and save face if you can't make it work!

Answer 9

he possibly don't love you anymore. because i didn't see enough reason for him to leave you. he just use this reason or else he just made this story to break up with you because he couldn't find a good reason to do it.

Answer 10

Wake up..........if he can't come up with a better way to get out than that you should get out first!