a question for anyone engaged to an aspiring(starving) artist?

Question

whether it be a musician,rapper,singer etc. my fiance and i have known each other since we were 12yrs old.we're both 28 and we're getting married in august.i've known all along from day one that he wants to be a inspirational rappr,poet.he's EXTREMELY talented but i am SICK TO DEATH of being put to he side for "career" we have children,we have a wedding to prepare and so far i've been doing life while he's been doing art.does ANYONE know how i feel.please help. our wedding should come first dont u think? no insults please

Answer 1

I'm married to an actor. I know exactly what you're talking about, but remember that a portion of their life is about you and your kids, and the other portion is about them and their self-obsession. It's a selfishness that is necessary if they are ever going to be successful. You knew this when you agreed to marry him, and you have to support him. Marriage is compromise. Ask him to give a little (be specific about what you want) and I'm sure he'll help out.

As for the wedding coming first - whether he's an artist or not, guys don't really help that much. They really are kind of useless when it comes to planning the wedding (sorry guys - no offense). Give them jobs that they'll understand like picking up people from the airport. Make them feel important, but don't expect too much. And remember - you love this guy, no matter what - don't let the stresses of being an amazing woman (who does EVERYTHING) make you take your frustrations out on your man. Give him specific tasks to do and then let him surprise you by doing them. Good luck!

Answer 2

At 28 years old he should no longer be a struggling musician. If he hasn't made it yet It's because he isn't talented enough. If he can't get serious about life and find a good job to support his family you would be making a big mistake marrying him. You will always be his second priority.
Does he have a plan for when his "career" doesn't happen? If not he's living in a dream world. You need him in the real world. Quit telling him he's extremely talented. There are a lot of untalented rappers. It's the personality that makes them rich and famous before they're 28.

Answer 3

I believe you have got to procedure it from 3 views; school schooling and its availability and affordability, retirement and what the long run holds for them and the way dangerous it might be versus now and the way in which it's for his or her mothers and fathers dwelling on constant earning or approximately to continue to exist constant earning, thirdly-the atmosphere. While those matters don't seem to be immediately similar all 3 preserve tremendous social and economic influence for the more youthful adults of this nation with the intention to have an impact on them for a long time to return after they're good beyond their mid 30s and 40s an into their retirment years even. By fitting concerned and serving to and taking a hand now with the selections and insurance policies with the intention to be made they're serving to to set the path for THEIR long run.

Answer 4

you are correct. Why do "artist" and I use the word loosely think that they are so special? The world revolves around their pathetic existence. Tell the no good boyfriend of yours that you need help, and if he doesn't help then don't do anything. See how he likes getting married with no minister, no food, no guest, no honeymoon, no liquor.

Anyways I suggest you reevaluate your feeling, if he doesn't care enough for your wedding preparation, that tells you something. Dump his sorry starving butt. You don't need that lazy jerk.....by the way have you noticed that most "artist" are either crazy, welfare bums, drug addicts, drunks, a genius, have no talent, or a little of each?

Answer 5

I'm engaged to a traveling musician. He spends about half-to-two-thirds of his year on the road to places all over the world. It's not the life for just anyone... nor is it the life many care to be married to.

The truth is... his musical career is a HUGE part of who he is. And I love him for everything he is, everything he isn't, and everything he aspires to be. I accept that music and the road will always have a certain level of precidence in our life together. I know that for many days out of the year, I will be the only parent our children will see. I know that when a new album comes out, he will lock himself up in his room until he has the new music down cold. I know these things, and I accept them.

This is because when he's not with the music, he is with me fully. I have his 110% attention. And even when he is with the music -- on the road -- he calls regularly and I know that if I call him he will pick up immediately. I know it in how he takes care of me. I know it in how he will take the time off when we have our children, putting the road aside for awhile to focus on me and our newborn. I know in how, even when on stage and focused so hard on his job... he seeks me out in the audience to smile and wave.

The long and short of it... music and me... we run neck and neck in importance to him. But the key thing is that... I know that if worst came to worst, he'd choose me over music. And that's why I never ask him to make that decision. I know what the answer would be.

Ask yourself that same question... would he choose you and your family over music? Music can run right there with you in importance... its who he is and you've known that for years. But when push comes to shove, you should come first.

As for the wedding planning... guys don't generally get as into it as women would like. So, I'd say cut him slack THERE. But if he's making it difficult for you to even have a wedding at all, then something is wrong.

Answer 6

I won't even bother to get to the last half of your question, no offense.

ALL of us who are creative, are starving! Not only, usually financially, but in ways such as attention, recognition, appreciation, knowledge that our creativity is a PASSION so much more than it is a job,,, and often a PRIORITY, beyond even EATING, sometimes.

If you can't accept, by now, what you've known for so many years, then I suggest you are in DEEP DOO, and likely in it, alone.

His THING is not a personal attack on you. In fact he may not strictly consider YOU 24/7.

Again, no offense meant but tolerance and acceptance are two options. The third is, as so many song writers have said,,, Hit The Highway.

Rev. Steven

Answer 7

Are you sure that you should be planning a wedding?..............It sounds like red warning flags are waving right in front of you. I've been there, done that. Sounds like you need to re-evaluate your relationship.
Good Luck

Answer 8

BE HAPPY HES CREATIVE!
Success takes years, I would love to have a creative hubby instead of blue collar job, mind you blue collar makes a living, but one day your man will too and you will benefit!

Answer 9

The children should come first.