I'm a mom who is preparing to move my 9 yr old daughter to FL from OH. This will take place within the next 6 to 8 weeks. I am extremely concerned about her father's reaction to our moving (never married but he has had weekly contact with her). My husband, our 15 month old, the 9 yr old and myself have a happy, healthy life and feel that we can all endure the stress that this will present but I don't know how to tell the 9 yr old's father or the 9 year old herself. Her father- who will remain in Ohio is argumentative and negative about most small issues. He will surely show his feelings to everyone- including the 9 yr old. I have already been given legal advice to withhold the news until 2 weeks before the move. I really want everyone to have the least amount of stress possible and the move is definate due to a job transfer. Thanks for your time.
2006-06-06 16:33:41 · 11 answers · asked by jainix 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
When I was a kid, and my parents split, we moved across the country. I wished they had told me sooner so I could have told all of my friends goodbye. Looking back it would have been an easier adjustment for me. I think at nine she has some clue as to what is going on. Maybe you could sit her down and say 'You know how D has been looking for a new job (if that's the case)? Well he found one in FL.' We'll be moving there soon and it will be during the summer so you'll have enough time to say your goodbyes to your friends and time to get adjusted/set up your new room before starting at a your new school'. Involve her in projects she could make for her friends to remember her by. Decorate a journal and have her give it to each friend for a day or two to write things they'll miss about her or how they'll keep in touch. Have her host a going away party and be sure to get a few pictures of her and her friends so they all can have one. That's what my friends did with their kids and it was really a positive experience for them.
Hope that helps some.
2006-06-06 17:59:54 · answer #1 · answered by Declined to State 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ah yes I have been in the same situation only from the nine year old standpoint. She won't like dad being upset so good idea to wait until closer to time. But, explain that she will still be able to talk to him and see him when school is out. I remember that feeling of dad being mad at me because my mom was moving us away, so make sure she knows that dad isn't angry with her. I would make an effort to talk to your ex in an adult setting without her around (a restaurant or public place may be best). Maybe you can rationalize it for him and tell him neither of you want to mess your daughters head up over this. Please though as I said earlier make sure she knows no one is angry with her for your decision. Plus being closer to Disney along with nicer weather can't be a bad selling point. Good luck.
2006-06-06 23:44:50 · answer #2 · answered by justcurious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really two weeks before!. You should have given her time to say good bye to her friends. And spend more time with her father. If the move is to benefit "ALL" of you involved then go for it, But give her the benefit of the doubt, and let her say her goodbyes... What part of FL? I am in Kissimmee. I have an 11 yr old niece she can be friends with....
2006-06-06 23:38:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not going to be easy,moving away and leaving
Her School & Friends - I disagree tell Her now so
She can get use to the idea,saying goodbye takes
time give it to Her. Explain why it is nessesary to
move. Kids understand more than we give them
credit for. She will be sad for a while,but that will
pass,She'll have a new school & new friends and
it will all work out,as it did for me,and my Brother
who thought the world was going to end,but it did
not. we made arrangement to come back and see
our old friends,and to spend the summer with them
But we never did. but the thought was what kept us
going. After we settled down in a new town and,new
Friends the old place was pretty well forgotten. She
can spend the summers with her Dad or He can
come and visit,try to keep them close.
2006-06-06 23:51:23 · answer #4 · answered by trebor2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we just went threw something like this i have a 9 yr old also we just moved from NH to mississippi in feb we talked it over with him first and explained to him that we were going to move down south cause daddy is transferring his job there and that we would have a little extra money to go out and do more things as a fammily since the cost of living was cheaper but anyway he took it good and said he would like to go
2006-06-06 23:39:16 · answer #5 · answered by Ñina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he needs more than a 2 week notice if he's been seeing her every week. It's only right. How would you feel if he did that to you?
I wouldn't tell her about the hurricanes and having to evacuate every other week in the summer. Tell her about the swimming pools everyone has and about Walt Disney. Good Luck!.....)(
2006-06-06 23:42:52 · answer #6 · answered by MissKathleen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I can say is tell her, and tell her about The good things in fl. like disney world,etc.
2006-06-06 23:36:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
depending on his mode you should ask him questions about a moving situation and say because your friend is planning on doing so..... depending on how he answers will show how to address the situation.
2006-06-06 23:40:00 · answer #8 · answered by da_friendly_dominikan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her you're taking her to disney land and really take her there the first day and then ask her if she wants to stay and pray she says yes
2006-06-06 23:37:22 · answer #9 · answered by ohyeah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that is tough.....the X will definitely cause trouble, you have to explain it to your daughter first.......try asking her what she would think of moving hypothetically first to get her reaction then decide from there how to proceed
2006-06-06 23:38:36 · answer #10 · answered by fanofozzyosbourne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋