There might be another girl having my boyfriends baby and i am pregnant, too. What do i do?

Question

There is this girl who is really young who says she is having my boyfriends baby. She is due in July but she was claiming to be pregnant before my boyfriend and i even met and we have been together for almost a year now. But she is making problems in our relationship and to top it all off i am 24weeks pregnant myself. I don't know what to do. How am i going to explain this to my child when she asks how she has a sister 2 months older than her? What should I do?

My boyfriend, in the beginning, accepted the baby because that was before me and him even met, but her dates are off and so far she has done nothing but lie. So now he denies the baby and they argue in front of me and she gets really mad because he treats her really bad. Sometimes she tries to get me on her side but she brought all of this on herself. He swears he hasn't cheated and she knows that we have been together and she even told me in the beginning about 3 months before she was pregnant that she was pregnant. But now she is pregnant and she swears it is his. I dont think she is that crazy to sleep with my boyfriend knowing how i am. But she is having a girl she is due in July. I am due in September.

Answer 1

Damn girl I feel for ya, But there really isn't much you can do until she has her baby. Once she does have your BF demand a paternity test.

As for Auntie's answer, how can you tell this girl to have an abortion, that's just wrong. At 24 weeks you are too far along to have an abortion.

Answer 2

A little story to help you out. My best friend is in the same situation. Only she's the child. Her mom and dad got pregnant...got in a fight at the beginning....her dad went off with some other girl..got her pregnant. Not my friend has a brother who is 2 and half months younger than she is. She didnt know about him for the longest time. Her mom and dad are married and live together. Her mom told her the truth. That they fought, told her what they fought about....that things happened. That they were sorry for hurting her. Her brother came to see her and they have been spending a lot of time together. As much as the situation sucks....there is nothing you can do. If your with the father or not. The baby will have to know. And some day...you'll be the one to tell your child. Just try to tell you child the TRUTH...but dont make it out to be that their father is an asshole. Also, if you believe your boyfriend...and you love him. Still want to be with even if that is truly his baby. Then understand that I am living proof that cheaters do change. I used to cheat all the time...until i met the man im with now. I've been with him for about a year and half and not cheated on him once, not even thought of it. So i dont believe that cheaters never change....they can change. But thats up to them, no one else! Have a great day....also remember that the baby's life and well-being comes before yours, your boyfriend, the girl, or her baby!!!!

Answer 3

A paternity test is a good idea if he says that she is not being truthful. If he refuses to take the test then I would suspect him of lying. If that's the case, I strongly recommend adoption (either open or closed depending on your personal preference) so that the child is able to be brought up in a stable and loving home with both a mother and father figure. If however he consents to the test, have him do it. Then if it comes back as not his child, get down on one knee and ask him to marry you. This way you and your baby have some security. Believe me, having a baby without the marriage is a scary place to be in the sense that you don't have as much leverage without it.

Good luck with the pregnancy ~ And keep in mind to take all advice with a grain of salt. Go with what you 'know' to be right (but give all decisions at least 3 days to set before acting because your hormones fluctuate causing you to feel differently from one day to the next).

Answer 4

It sounds like someone may not be telling the truth. Keep an open mind to the possibility that is may be your boyfriend. If he wants to stay with you then he is most likely not going to admit cheating. As far as explaining a sister to your child, that sounds like daddy's job, he needs to explain it to you too. My advise is to get a clear head on your relationship, if it is good work on that, if not consider moving on. If he is having another baby there is nothing you can do to change it. Think about what is best for that child and get over your hurt an anger. Realize that the other mom will be a part of your life and try to build a civil relationship so that you can be good parents for both children (Yes if you stay with your boyfriend you will have to be a parent to his other child also). Remember it is not you the child's fault, find a way to love this child too.

Answer 5

Have your baby. Be a good mother and if you choose to stay with the babies father then explain to the baby - when it asks - that her/his father made some bad choices before you got together. You don't have to go into detail until he/she is old enough to need a more thorough explanation. If there is any doubt about the paternity of the other girl's baby, you should have a blood test done. I hope everything works out for the best. Congrats on the baby!

Answer 6

Have your baby. Be a good mother and if you choose to stay with the babies father then explain to the baby - when it asks - that her/his father made some bad choices before you got together. You don't have to go into detail until he/she is old enough to need a more thorough explanation. If there is any doubt about the paternity of the other girl's baby, you should have a blood test done. I hope everything works out for the best. Congrats on the baby!

Answer 7

So what you are saying is you think your boy friend cheated on you after you were together,other wise you wouldn't think of the other child as a sister.
If love has anything to do with this you would be married now .
Lets have a DNA party and get it over with .If he did not cheat then he won't be paying for another mans child .And your baby won't have a sister .No way around this one ,It is grown up time .

Answer 8

oh my gosh...uhh...get as far away from that loser as possible? You don't need the sperm donor around to raise the child. Being a single parent is way easier than all the drama of that situation. Listen, you're pregnant now, it is not about you anymore or how you feel or the other girl or this guy. It's ALL about your baby and unless you want to play some bs out in family court for the next 18 years and deal with this kind of stuff, get out now. don't put his name on birth certificate and maintain all parental rights and run fast and far. Now! GO! oh yeah, def. DNA TEST because anything he says is prob. a lie.

Answer 9

When the baby is born have a paternity test. That is really the only way you are going to know for sure if the baby is his or not. If it turns out that the baby is his then I would start asking a lot of questions.

Good luck!

Answer 10

Get an abortion, say your not pregnant and go on a WACKY roller coaster. Or take pills to kill the 24 week old fetus.

Don't do this to yourself, you don't have to go through with this all, do you know the psychological trauma your daughter will have with no father? or even worse, a father she knows is unfaithful and sleeps around?! She'll think she was an accident, ESSPECCCIALLLLY if the other girls is 2 MONTHS older than her!!!

I'm serious, get an abortion, and find a faithful guy to marry, and then have kids.

Answer 11

Call the Jerry Springer show. I think they have situations like this at least once a week!

Seriously....your boyfriend may just end up having to pay child support for two kids now... Right? Can he afford it? He really sounds like a loser and honey, I gotta tell ya, it isn't going to be easy and the least of your worries is how to tell your baby he/she has a sister thats 2 months older!