My grandfather passed away recently. Only my dad is attending the funeral. Would it be appropriate for me (a teen) to contribute traditional funeral music on CD to be played? If I was your kid, and I gave you a CD and told you to play it at the funeral, would you think of me as caring and thoughtful or inappropriate and rude? Please be honest.
2006-06-06 14:19:42 · 35 answers · asked by Brian Lewis 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
thank you all for you encoragement. i'm in the united states and my grandfather's funeral is in hong kong. and also, i just got out of school
2006-06-15 17:48:14 · update #1
That would be wonderful. At my Mother's service, they played a song that my Brother had recorded several years before. It was awesome!
2006-06-06 16:00:01 · answer #1 · answered by woman of faith 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss. Your grandpa must have meant a lot to you, since you want to participate in his funeral by supplying some music.
I'm not sure why only your dad will be at the funeral. Will he really be the only person there? Or just the only person from your side of the family? It sounds like you would also like to attend. As a grandson, you have every right to do so. Why not talk to you dad about this? I can't imagine why you would not be allowed to attend. Maybe no one realizes how important it would be to you. It's the last time you'll be with your grandpa's earthly remains, and you should be able to say goodbye in your own way. That is an important part of the grieving process. And it is a process - it doesn't happen overnight. You've lost someone dear to you, and you will need to take however much time you need to get through it.
I think it's a beautiful gesture to offer the music. If you were my kid, I'd be bursting with pride. My thoughts are with you as you go through this difficult time.
2006-06-14 20:38:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can any thoughtful action be considered inappropriate? I found it interesting that your choice in music selection was "traditional funeral music" . Think about this...what type of music did your Grandfather like? Funerals or Memorial services should be designed to truly celebrate a life lived. In otherwords, although the living are left saddened by the loss of their loved one... personalizing their funeral or memorial services recognizes the deceased uniqueness and gives us a chance to really highlight how they touched our lives. So...by you having to really take the time, and selectively chose music that repersents and celebrates your grandfather, you not only pay tribute to him, you also will feel great about sharing your memories of him through the musical choices you make. Good for you! A great way for you to begin a healthy grieving process.
2006-06-06 15:39:30 · answer #3 · answered by ikrav 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any time a family member contributes to a loved ones funeral it is at least something that should be considered by "the in charge people". I would hope my children would want to have a part in one of my parents funeral's.
2006-06-17 11:54:44 · answer #4 · answered by mustang71 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry for your loss. I hope my grandchildren care enough to contribute anything. I know the loss is hard, I never knew my grandparents as they all died before I was born and my parents have been dead for many, many years and I still miss them each and every day. I do know that, whether it be my children or grandchildren each of them is unique and each will have unique emotions concerning my death but none of the emotions or desires to do or not do something will be wrong. You cannot be responsible for another persons feeling only for your own so do what you need to do for your grandfather, whether it is accepted or not, know that your grandfather is watching over you and he knows what is in YOUR heart.
2006-06-18 03:23:31 · answer #5 · answered by taterpeel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very proud of you for being such a thoughtful young man. I would certainly take the CD with me and ask that it be played either during the funeral or the calling hours. I am so sorry for your loss. God bless!
2006-06-06 14:39:29 · answer #6 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Share the choice with your father and tell him why you have it. If he is in agreement, use it. The funeral is more for the living than the dead. It is a way to say farewell. You will do the appropriate thing so your memory will be a good one.
2006-06-15 09:55:39 · answer #7 · answered by the Goddess Angel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's appropriate. Just say that you'd like to help with the memorial and you'd like to contribute traditional music to be played. Close family members usually do get together and help plan the services.
2006-06-06 15:03:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was your mother I'd accept the cd and play it during the funeral or wake. Take care.
2006-06-15 19:30:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ricz87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your grandfather.
If you were my kid, I'd be thankful!
Play the music, because there are so many details your dad has to take care of himself, he might not be thinking of music.
I'm sure it will also be a nice way for you to honor your grandfather.
2006-06-14 01:59:10 · answer #10 · answered by Amy Swallows 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thinks a very nice idea. Sorry to hear about his passing. Why is it just your dad going to the funeral?
2006-06-15 05:00:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋