My boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend is kinda chubby and he is very self conscience and he always thinks im cheating on him and im getting kinda of tired of that cause I really like him but he doesn't belive me because I have alot of guy friends and he thinks im always cheating on him with them but im in love with him. what should I do

Answer 1

Are you giving him a reason to think you are? Do you spend alot of time with the guy friends that you have? The only thing you can do is tell him you love him, adore him, and that he is the only man for you.

Make him feel like he is the only man on the face of the earth. If he is concerned about his weight, encourage him and help him in any way you can.

Even after all that, if he still doesn't believe you, then the fear is inside himself. You can't force him to believe you. Just keep reassuring him. Keep your communication open and ask him why does he think you're cheating. There's more to it then just you having guy friends. Talk to him.

Good luck!

Answer 2

The fact that you mentioned his being chubby, means that is something that you think about as well. If you are not cheating on him (and I do know that boys and girls can be friends without having sex) then you can only tell him so many times.

It is up to you to decide how many times that is or how patient you care to be with him.

You can become physically active with him (exercize, walk, play sports, climb, go running, etc) that way you are spending time with him and he will become healthier, lose weight and probably get a better sense of self-esteem.

Do you spend time with your guy friends WITH him or INSTEAD of him. If it's instead, you need to re-evaluate your relationship. If he keeps accusing you even if you spend time with him and your friends (his friends too) then you may want to move on and find someone more trusting.

Again, it's your choice on how much you want to put up with it or help him make changes for himself.

Answer 3

Well, it's obvious that there are feelings of guilt at work here. I think his assertion that you are cheating is a way for him to obtain reassurance that you're okay with his weight. The problem is that he isn't okay with his weight. What he is saying in a round-about way is, "I need to lose weight -- why would you want to be with me?"

I think you should confront him about his sense of self. Find out how his self-esteem is doing. It's very common for (even mildly) overweight people to have low self-esteem and to believe that they are not quite worthy. Unfortunately, these feelings make these people do less and eat more. You seem to care about him so help him turn it all around. It'll be better for both of you in the long term. All you have to do is be sensitive and position it carefully. Whatever you do, do not reinforce his sense of worthlessness.

Answer 4

tell him every thing that you just told us. Maybe you are neglecting to tell him the way that you feel when he says these things, & maybe you kinda forget to show him just how you feel. My man is a little on the big side too. He is 6'4", & like 250 lbs. I think that he is very sexy, & i tell him all the time. I ask him if he is cheating on me? Makes him feel good, because he thinks that no one wants him, but he is hot, & other girls think so too, & he will ask me, y would i cheat on u? I say that i trust him, I just don't trut other girls. I make it a point to let my man know almost eeryday how sexy that i think he is. Don't forget that guys have feelings too, & make sure that he knows how you feel. Not just once in a while, but every day if you have to.

Answer 5

Tell him that if he doesn't stop being soo self-consisous that it just isn't going to work out. Cause that is really annoying. My bf used to be like that all the time with me. I have no idea why, hes really cute. So I told him to stop or I am outta here. Cause I just couldn't take him thinking that I would do that to him. Like he didn't trust me. Tell him that too. That if its going to work there needs to be a lot of trust. That is what relationships are about!

Answer 6

Honestly..........have you ever thought about telling him the very thing you just wrote to his face...............


spend time with him and enjoy what you time you got....if it becomes too much of a headache due to the assumptions seperate so he'll understand what a good thing he had in you....but dont be a hateful ***** when he realizes he really loves you....big and husky people are always self conscience especially in men due to some men having overdeveloped breast tissue that makes them look like they have large breasts

Answer 7

That is one of the most amazing sentences I have ever read in my life. That "what should I do" is sort of tacked on as an afterthought.

Okay, regarding your question. He is obviously insecure in the relationship, which is his problem, not yours. If you have already told him straight out that you are not cheating, and he simply won't believe you, then he (and you) have a grave problem. Tell him you really will cheat on him if he does not cut it out, because you are sick of his whining. If that does not work, dump him - he has a real problem.

Answer 8

Maybe suggest the two of you go see a couples counsellor. Then you have a mediator, someone to help you tell him your perspective and who can help him get you to see his side. Odviously he has some problems, maybe not all related to weight. Be patient and open, really REALLY listen to him. He has trust issues and that may be part of a larger issue. Peace out.

Answer 9

It is obvious this young man has low self esteem issues. There is nothing you can do to snap him out of it. He has to do this himself. Don't allow him to make u feel guilty that's a form of control (emotionally). He should work on himself quickly or he will loose a good woman.

Answer 10

maybe get rid of your other guys for a little while and try to lovingly get your bf to maybe exercise or eat more healthy ..once he lost weight he would not be so self conscience