How do I deal with my mother? She is not happy about being a grandmother?

Question

My mother scowls when I have told her that I would like to have children with my wife. She says she is too young to be a grandmother at 51. She said I am too young and I will regret it, I am 26 and married for two years.

She cried when I told her my wife was pregnant because she feels I could have "found a better wife" for me and that she can't believe my wife is "officially" tied to me forever since we are having a baby.

I have decided I am going to cut her off, I cannot have her act this way to me and my family any longer. I cannot "talk" to her, she is 100% unreasonable and I am starting to think she is messed up in the head!

Has anyone dealt with family members like this?

Answer 1

I'm sorry to say this, but it's probably in your best interest to isolate her from the life you are trying to have with your wife. She is being disrespectful to you and your wife now, and nothing is going to change her mind. You also need to consider what she might say to your children if she does stay in the picture. She obviously speaks her mind, so she may tell them that she never wanted you to have them, or that they are a burden..ect. You can hope she'll change her mind when the baby comes, but I doubt it'll happen. I would start keeping her at a distance now.

I had my first baby at 25 (married for 3 years) My mom was 47. She never once said anything about being too young, in fact she was on cloud nine to be a grandma! You are in a loving stable relatinship with a woman you obviously love and care for...why wouldn't you want to have a family? I say put her in her place, and good luck.

Answer 2

I remember my father ranting about how unreasonable his mother was towards my mom. Dads mother even told him when he came to visit to leave "that woman" at home. Mom and dad loved each other so dad cut off his visits to his mother. He said if she couldn't accept him married and now a couple then she could do without his company. She agreed! And that was that. She didn't even want to see her grand kids. I don't know why that happens to some people. His mother never called us again so I grew up with 1 set of grandparents. Never missed the other.
Dad said no wonder his dad left her. He always remembered her being a rather mean person. My only thoughts to you are...
when the children come and your mother is part of their life(maybe) be careful about leaving them alone with her in case she is passing on her bitterness to them. But maybe you will get lucky and the grandchildren will mellow her out some. Good luck and I applaud you for standing by your wife. What a man!

Answer 3

Yes we all have family members or personally go through this type of situation. The main reason for this type of behavior is fear. Don't worry about it. If she wants to be in your life she'll straighten up, if not, well you can't do anything about that. You and your wife are married to each other not your mother. Make as many babies as you guys want. But, don't cut her off completely; my advice would be to give her some space, and if she can prove she's ready to behave: let her back in.

Oh yeah, I understand how you feel both my parents happen to be that way...lol I'm currently engaged and my fiance and I are talking children right after marriage. I told both my parents they must behave to be apart of my life when I'm married, and after I have my children. They complied:)

Be Blessed:)

Answer 4

i imagine it really is dazzling that you're starting up a kin. My mom is in straightforward words 40 2 and a grandmother. My husband and that i have been married 2 years at the same time as our little lady became born. I had in basic terms grew to grow to be 21 after I had her. i imagine it really is undesirable that she appears like that. I recommend, each and every mom needs the dazzling for her little ones, yet when you're satisfied, that is what ought to matter. in the adventure that your mom doesn't come round in the course of the being pregnant, possibly she will be in a position to sensible up and a minimum of spend your time consisting of her grandchild. possibly she feels this way because she became a mom at 25. possibly she regretted having a infant that youthful. And thinks that you'll too. upon getting a infant, each and every thing ameliorations, yet i could not imagine going quicker or later with out our little lady, she is the reason we did not sleep at evening, we did not bypass out to eat, or to the flicks. yet she is likewise the reason we glance ahead to getting up each and every morning, and the reason we smile so huge. appreciate your spouse's being pregnant and congrats!! desire each and every thing works out for you 2!

Answer 5

Set the boundaries in a calm way and stand by your wife and new baby. Don't let it become a problem in your life.......take a stand and stick by it. Your mother sounds very controlling but I think you know this. Don't listen to anything negative she says about your wife.....walk away. The biggest thrill in my life are my grandbabies ....and I thank God every day for them.

Answer 6

My mother acted like that when my sister got pregnant because the baby is mixed. So - we told her that if she continued to sya those hateful things and act the way she did--then we would cut off all communication with her. It worked. She called my sister and myself a few days later and apologized. she hasnt acted that way since.

Answer 7

When a man gets married, he leaves his mother. She seems to have never gotten over losing her son. When the grandchild arrives, she will probably change her ways and attitude and realize you're a man now and not just her son. If not, you must put your family first. her feeling must comes after that.

Answer 8

having children it's a decision you and your wife made not your mother!! Obviusly she has some sort of unhealthy emotional attachment towards you.. until she behave life a normal supportive mother you should stop socializing with her and dont be shy of letting her know to!!

Answer 9

i kinda know what you are going through when I first got married my family was mad, but I let them stay that way and now they are coming around. Just give her some time.

Answer 10

Wait till the baby gets here...she'll change her tune. Good luck!