She's nice. She sits across the cubicle from me. But every so often she'll come over and just chat her head off for about 10 minutes, laughing at her own jokes, talking about her kids, asking the same general questions. I think she's uncertain around people, so I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I really just like to be left alone. Any thoughts?
2006-06-06 11:22:29 · 11 answers · asked by Veritatum17 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I should mention we're both happily married...NOT to each other, obviously. So I hope it's not affectation.
2006-06-06 11:34:02 · update #1
Do I work with you? Are you talking about me?
Just say something like, you know I like talking with you, but I'm in the middle of something and don't want to get distracted. That shouldn't hurt her feelings, but you'll get her away.
2006-06-06 11:30:42 · answer #1 · answered by Gabrielle 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Be honest. Tell her what your working style is and schedule a meeting with her every time she comes over. Just the simple action of scheduling a meeting with her will send the message that your time is your OWN and she can't interrupt unless she is invited.
She can't interrupt you as much if you are NOT as available. Talk to your supervisor and get a partition, hopefully she'll find someone else to bother. Watch what you do as well...if you are chatting all day with *other* coworkers, getting up constantly to put paper on the copier, taking lots of coffee breaks, etc. you may be sending her the message that you LOVE to be interrupted.
ALso, watch your body language and your tone of voice. I think you can still be friendly while maintaining your assertivness.
For example:
Annoying Annie: My cat peanuts did the funniest thing yesterday! You won't guess what he did! He.....
You: (Not making eye contact, keeping your fingers on your keyboard) that peanuts....he is such a rascal....(brief eye contact) You know, Ann? I'm actually in the middle of something, why don't you tell me in an hour, I'll be taking a break. (Eyes go back to the computer screen and you don't say another word).
Honor your meetings and water cooler chats; you can keep them brief. You said she is nice - maybe you'll end up enjoying some of her weirdness as long as you have some control of your time. Think of it as your good deed of the day. If you create healty bounduaries hopefully she'll leave you alone.
2006-06-07 02:48:36 · answer #2 · answered by MisteryBazaar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This should be easy enough, all you have to do is put her in your shoes. Find out what annoys the hell out of her and become that person that she is annoyed by. If you are up to it, it will take some energy on your part, but you will get a very great return on your investment I think. Become so annoying to her that she will even go out of her way to avoid you. She currently seems to be very comfortable around you, and the fact that you are not rude to her is an indication of why she chooses to annoy you, because she knows you will not make her feel bad. However, if you don't want to alienate her completely, and you don't want to offend her, you may just have to endure her for the time being.
2006-06-07 02:25:28 · answer #3 · answered by Seven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she's lonely. what harm is it to talk to her for a few mins each day?
well, if you really want her to leave you alone, if she does it the same time every day, grab the phone right around that time and call someone. she cant talk to you if your on the phone. wear headphones. they dont even have to be on, just wear them and then she can talk all she wants and you can ignore her and she wont think anything other than you just can't hear her.
Stop her in the middle of her story and go on about one of yours.Maybe she'd get bored and leave.
2006-06-06 18:41:01 · answer #4 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she likes you. As a friend, as more than a friend. She could just be like I am sometimes--get caught up in a story and realize too late that no one is listening. If you stop when you realize this, then you look stupid. If you are really bothered though, just smile and say something like, "Man I really have to get back to work. I'll catch up with you later!"
2006-06-06 18:32:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have another co-worker call your phone and pretend like it's a call you have to take. Also, you could tell her that you got in trouble for talking and don't want to do it again. Maybe she will think that she will get into trouble too.
2006-06-06 18:42:15 · answer #6 · answered by T2Step 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a little sign for your cubicle that reads, working really hard please do not disturb. Then give her a big smile when you take the sign down, make the sign kinda pretty and permanent.
2006-06-06 18:53:54 · answer #7 · answered by Gloria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my coowrkers come over i just keep on working, every once and a while saying uh-huh or glancing up, they usually dont stay very long anymore.
2006-06-06 18:32:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she wants to be friends,but is nervous. Try to be nice and tell her some things about yourself and you may be surprised as to how nice it is to have a new friend.
2006-06-06 18:44:34 · answer #9 · answered by wolftatx2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is really getting on your nerves and affecting your job you should mention it to your supervisor and she can tell her to stay at her work station,which she should.
2006-06-06 18:27:51 · answer #10 · answered by Elizabeth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋