My dad's family is having a reunion in July in Alabama (I live in Illinois). My grandma let it get out around the family that my bf is a "white boy". He and I were going to go together so he could meet that side of my family (he met mom's side), but that was before they knew he's not black. Also, we were supposed to get a ride down there with my uncle that lives here, but suddenly he doesn't have room in his van for us.... Oh, and Uncle Hypocrit was tripping b/c my bf isn't Christian. Anyway, I don't care what they think since I just met them 1 year ago, but should my guy and I just fly down there on our own and deal? Or should I blow them off and stay in IL with my mom's side who's 100% supportive of our relationship? I'm not going by myself if he's not welcome.... (We are very serious and thinking of marrying next year.)
2006-06-06 10:10:49 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Since you are both considering getting married then I think you should go. Your families reaction to you boyfriend being white isn't going to change over night if and when you both get married. So I suggest you both go to the reunion so you can both have to opportunity to see what you maybe up against from that side of the family once you are married. You might be surprised to find that not everyone on that side of the family feels the way your Uncle apparently does. Give them a chance. If they are still oppositional then you can justify your reason for ignoring them.
Congrats and good luck!
2006-06-06 10:25:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stand proud of your relationship and if you think that you going to your family reunion is going to cause problems in your relationship then don't go. It doesn't matter what your family says or thinks about you and him - it just matters how you feel. Have you talked to them and told them that you love him and that they need to respect him?
Maybe go to the family reunion but don't stay as long as you had planned. But, if you have no way to get there and don't want to waste money flying there then don't go. Plan something fun for you and your mom's side to do that you can all enjoy.
If you are planning on marrying this guy your family is going to have to accept him and meet him at some point, so at some point you are going to have to deal with them, but since you aren't even engaged you don't have to do it right now.
2006-06-06 17:16:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is important that you at least give your family a chance before you write them off. Those of them that don't support your relationship don't have to be a part of your life in the future, but at the reunion may find one or two members of your family are a bit more reasonable than you think and it would be a shame never to have found out which ones. If you get there and things really are that bad, then check into a hotel and make a romantic getaway out of it just the two of you.
2006-06-06 19:45:57 · answer #3 · answered by kitcat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At some point you are going to have to face the haters in your family so you might as well do it now. If they have a problem with it then they are the ones who will just have to deal with it. This will also give you a good idea of who is worth having at your wedding if you two end up getting married.
2006-06-06 17:14:06 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, I would waste my time making that trip to be accosted by a bunch of lunatic fanatic people, relatives or not! Get a grip, stay in Illinois and enjoy yourself. You WILL be at that reunion, just from the amount they are going to talk about you and your 'carryings on."
2006-06-06 17:14:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bigots are everywhere and you should not subject your relationship to them. If you love him and he loves you then that is all that matters. It is not for them to say who you should love. If you want to go to the reunion and want to settle the matter once and for all (for better or worse) tell them that they are being racist bigots and that you thought they were better then that. For extra points, remind them that Christians are not permitted to judge...that is for god to do and he is probably frowning down at them for holding their hated instead of holding your hand. Good Luck and good for you...have a happy marriage. And remember, there are only two people in a marriage...not two people and a house full of negative jerks.
2006-06-06 17:18:23 · answer #6 · answered by tams 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say there is nothing wrong about being with some 1 different than your race, we are not in the old stone era. just dont give a damn and be with the supportive family.Good Luck
2006-06-06 17:14:13 · answer #7 · answered by Remi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say for get the your dad side of the family and have a good time with your mothres side of the Family WITH YOUR MAN!!
2006-06-06 17:46:45 · answer #8 · answered by Falon J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if he is accepted u should go but if not do not go because u wouldn't want him 2 be uncomfortable. Hey they shouldn't care they not dating him.
2006-06-06 17:17:45 · answer #9 · answered by Jade W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh wow im sooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry u kno parents just trying to look out for the best. i no what u mean. i say follow your heart!!!
2006-06-06 17:13:45 · answer #10 · answered by Khadijah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋