I am absolutely amazed! There are women out there who actually think that they can make decisions for their grandkids against the mother's wishes?!? Who do you think you are? You didn't give birth to this child, you gave birth to the child's father, years and years ago! Hopefully. What makes you think that you can go over a mother's head and why would you want to? Do you realize that you are completely disrupting the parental program mom has? Not to mention, confusing the kids! I have a step-daughter that acts like an animal when she goes back to her mother's house after visiting grandma for the weekend, and by the time mom gets her straightened out, she's back off to grandma's! It makes me sick! I take a huge amount of pride in being a mother. I have beared the responsibility of birthing, nursing and caring for my babies, which my mother-in-law had no part of, yet you say she has the right to feed my child fast food for breakfast, lunch and dinner with ice cream sandwiches in-between?
2006-06-06 10:00:45 · 13 answers · asked by carolinagrl 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Ha! When hell freezes over!
2006-06-06 10:01:11 · update #1
THANK YOU!!! I really wonder if my mother-in-law is just amazed that my kids manage to survive between their visits to her house. The part that upsets me is when she & I talk about the kids (or "the babies" as she calls them) and decisions my husband & I have made, she tells me what a great job I'm doing and how great everyone is, it's all just great, great, great! But then when she talks to my husband or anyone else when I'm not around, she totally criticizes us.
Here's an example, and I'll try to keep it short. Both of my sons have ADHD. We dropped them off for a visit once, and I gave her the medicine bottles, told her what time they needed it, etc. When my husband picked them up at the end of the weekend, she hadn't given them their meds AT ALL! She said she thinks they don't need it and she refuses to give it to them, and if she could get our doctor in a room she'd have a few things to say to him about her grandsons. Our behavior specialist is one of the best in the country, and we did not make the decision to have them tested and put on meds without careful consideration and research. But I'm supposed to take her opinion over his?? Ummmm, no.
My kids just spent this last weekend at her house, and I'm still trying to work out the bugs. I actually said "you are not at Nana's anymore!" when one of them complained about bath time last night. AAARRRRRGGGH!!! I love her, but sometimes I want to ship her to Timbuktu!!
2006-06-06 11:14:40 · answer #1 · answered by browneyedgirl 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Oh how I know what you mean. My mom and my mother in law spoil my kids rotten, but, what you have to remember, is that when you were a kid, your grandma, or grandpa, or both, spoiled you rotten. Or at least they should have, since it is a grandparents right. That said, I do believe that the grandparents need to enforce the parents rules about most things. I understand that they spoil, but they should enforce the big rules at least, like bedtimes and bath times.
2006-06-06 15:42:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel, but I have to say this --- Grandma's are supposed to spoil their grandchildren, it's like a law or something. They had to parent us, so now they get to spoil their grandkids, they're done with the whole parenting/rules thing.
Now admit it, didn't your granny give you things your mom wouldn't and didn't you LOVE going to grandma's house? Don't you want the same experience for your kids??
2006-06-06 10:18:06 · answer #3 · answered by bye bye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well grandmothers are there to spoil the kids. . they were parents once, and now they just want to have fun, so take that into consideration. .
However, you need to set some rules for her. Tell her absolutely no fast food for breakfast or the kids wont' go to see her again. And if she doesn't follow the rules, then too bad she can't see them. And make sure your husband/kids father supports you on this too!!
2006-06-06 10:05:48 · answer #4 · answered by zeenarah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow do I feel you pain! My ex mother in law was the same way and my step mom is close to it. Grandparents are there to spoil the kids, but not at the expense of the parents input. One word for you...........BOUNDRIES.
Great post by the way. I loved it.
2006-06-06 10:25:22 · answer #5 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a Grandma thing....not just mother-in-laws do it, so does my mother! It amazes me how my mom does things and allows my girls to do things that she would have killed me for! But I guess that is what Grandma's are for...a place to escape their overbearing mom! - you will probably do the same thing with your grandkids someday! lol
2006-06-06 10:07:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey it's the grandparents. They do stuff like that. It's their perogative to drive their kids nuts. LOL
Then you feel all guilty about getting mad at them. Those poor older people who wouldn't do anything wrong. LOL It is hard though when the values are opposing. Good luck.
2006-06-06 10:06:06 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate 100%. I have a step child as well and when he does to visit, he has no rules. She has kept things from me and even lied for him to my husband and I. I am so frustrated with her. Glad to know I am not alone.
2006-06-06 10:44:52 · answer #8 · answered by Hot Pants 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to lay down the law to Grandparents that they need to follow our rules. They can bend them every so often but for the main part, they have to follow your rules
2006-06-06 11:54:16 · answer #9 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man u said it all !!!!!!! i know what ur talking about my mother in law is the same way she gets made when i tell her she cant take him anywhere and then she tries to ask my husband cuz she thinks he's going to say yes but he knows if he goes by what i say we well have problems..
2006-06-06 10:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋