Why are some guys so shy about asking a girl out?

Question

I am confident, intelligent, good-looking, and friendly. I have a good job, am in college, have great friends, etc. The only thing I don't ever have is a date! Many of my friends are males, and they have not asked me on dates (lots of them don't have jobs, so I'm not even counting them). I meet men through work and through friends who I can tell are interested in me, but they do not ask to see me again or even for my phone number. Is this really a day and age when girls just are NOT asked out? Or have you any suggestions on ways to encourage someone to ask me out? It's a little more than a little frustrating at times. Thank you.

Answer 1

My Dad used to tell me that the pretty girls are always the last ones to get asked out because the guys are intimidated. They look at you as being up on a pedestal and are afraid someone like you would turn them down.
Try what I did: when you meet someone that you are stongly attracted to, ask HIM out! I asked my husband out on our first date and we've been married for 18 years now.

Answer 2

There are hundreds of reason why guys might not ask you out and none of them have to have anything to do with you. You sound like a great person. There is so much pressure today on men and women, it all just makes things harder. I would suggest just starting slow but go ahead and ask a guy you like out for coffee or something simple. And maybe even a second time but after that if he doesn't get the hint move to guy number 2... but don't be afraid to make the first move. But again keep it simple cause some guys are still caught up in that whole macho thing and feel the need to make the first move. But if you keep it simple enough he can still think that because hey the first time was just to grap a simple cup of coffee and wasn't a real date or anything... Right. Best of luck.

Answer 3

Well, this is a really good question, and I wish I knew the answer. I have read that men are intimidated by intelligent women, because they like to feel like they are in control of things. I have no idea if it's true. If it is, it counts me out because I will not act stupid to be liked, and don't think this is a fair expectation.

I think you're asking a great question though. Exactly how much are we ladies required to compensate for a guy's insecurities?
This is a great time for guys to share their thoughts -- inquiring females want to know.

Answer 4

YOU are the confident one. The guys probably are not. Also, it might be shallow to rule out the ones with no jobs. I don't have a job now but would be one of the best catches anyone could get anyway. I would work really hard for the right person and reasons. It can be sort of crushing to be turned down for the 50th time for example. Ask him out if you want to, that's ok these days.

Answer 5

Jiust think how it feels when you tell someone you want to get to knw them better, and they respond they don't want to spend even a little time with you. Not very good. If that happened a few times, you might find yourself reluctant to keep asking.
But if you really want to be asked out more, try making it clear to them that you will say yes. Maybe even ask yourself. UNlike women, I've rarely ever known a friend of mine (if they are not already involved) to say no, to even the least attractive woman (as long as they have a mouth.) Just a hint.

Answer 6

Girls who appear confident often seem like they dont want or need anybody, so guys are afraid to approach. Even the guys that are just out to get laid because they figure you'll turn them down in a second. Your best bet is to ask them out. Guy's LOVE that because for once they dont have to get all worked up and crazy to ask a girl out.

Answer 7

There may be several reasons, fear of rejection may be a common one for the men you encounter. Some of them may not ask you out because they don't think you want to go out - it doesn't occur to them that you would want to go out with them.
Despite all that, it's clear that you'd like them to ask you out, so you might try thinking in terms of what would make it easy for them. If you are always with other people when the guys are around, you might try talking to them without others present and things like that.
Odd as it may sound, try to change your mind about wanting them to ask you out and just have fun being around them - the guys you want to ask you out. Sometimes the easiest solution to something that's bothering you is to sort of let go of it. You may find that you meet someone new who will ask you out right away or that someone you know invites you out.

Answer 8

Some men do not ask women out due to fear of rejection while others may not ask ladies out be because of funds availability. Take your time. You are still young. Someone will come into your life that was made for you, when you least expect it. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Um...there's always a fear of rejection. Maybe you're coming off as stand-offish. But, have you ever thought of asking them out? I've done it before, it's not easy...but I'm not the type of girl to wait around forever. If I want it to happen, I'll find a way. Why don't you give them your number instead of waiting for them to ask you? Just say, "hey, here's my number, I'd love to hang out sometime".

Answer 10

Some guys are scared. Scared of being rejected. Scared of a girl hurting their ego. Just Scared. (Sometimes their just stupid and clueless!) As to hints, I suggest YOU making the first move. I mean if you and a man are getting along at a party, say something like, "Wow, I'm have to go, but I'd love to finish this convo over coffee?" or "You're really fun to talk to, want to grab some dinner?" or "Wow! Your really smart, I'd love to hear your other thoughts over dinner." Maybe they also think you're not available..