Any Suggestions for my boys???

Question

I have three boys.They are 4yrs.,2yrs.& 10mos.I am racking my brain (as I'm sure a-lot of others are)about disipline.I've tried just about everything I can think of short of beating them(which I would NEVER do)Any suggestions?

When I say I would never beat them,that doesn't mean they don't spanked.They do,they don't care.
I've tried that stuff from the nanny,it's a joke.

Answer 1

Consistency is key! Set what your expectations are first. Give one warning as a chance to do what they should. If they still don't listen after that ONE and ONLY warning, follow through with what you decide for punishment. For us what works best is taking toys away. I have packed full garbage bags of toys that take a "vacation" to an unknown location. My boys have to be allowed to be silly through the day, being a kid should be fun! We also use sitting on their beds when they need to be removed completely from the situation. Setting a timer might work for this because once they see the first time that they will stay there until the buzzer buzzes, they don't fight it so much. My boys are not angels, but they are well behaved 90% of the time and rarely spanked.

Answer 2

I can totally feel your pain! We have tried just about everything (just short of a beating) with our 3 1/2 yr. old son. Timeouts are a joke, he stands there and counts to 20, thinking we are playing hide-n-seek (it's actually pretty cute), spanking only makes him fight back and throw even more of a tantrum, yelling goes in one ear and out the other. Pretty much the most effective thing for us is just to simply ignore his behavior. Sounds like we are taking the easy way out, but it's about all that works. Sometimes shame and guilt works (you are a naughty boy when you hit, or shame on you, you hurt Johnny, etc....) I wish I had a magical answer! If you come up with a solution, please share! I'm scheduled to have our second son tomorrow!

Answer 3

Children are egocentric - and I mean the clinical definition, meaning that they only understand the world in relation to themselves and cannot see the world from any other point of view.

Where am I going with this? Hear me out:

Children don't understand that when THEY hit someone else, it hurts the other person - that's why you see kids' hands get smacked. Corporal punishment, at least a little, may be a good thing. You can always use the THREAT of it afterwards.

I got smacked - it works. I mean, kudos to you for not doing it, but sometimes it's the only thing they understand.

Answer 4

Education. Take a class in Systematic Training for Effective Parenting. Check out books from the library on parenting. Try scream-free living on the internet. Get some resources. There are a million ways to do it your parents probably did not know about so you did not learn. Natural Consequences is the best. Learn it and do it. I do not favor time out.

Answer 5

First off, a spanking is not beating. It is not considered abuse in most places in the world and in most places in the U. S. I don't really believe much in it, except if a child has grown arrogant, disrespectful, and down-right mean. But at that point, you've waited too late for serious discipline anyhow.
Look, you're an adult; they're kids. You don't have to beat or even spank them for them to get the message that actions have consequences. Let 'em squall and scream bloody murder every time their bad behaviors cause them to lose privileges. You're big enough to keep them from going outside to play (say, if they won't clean their rooms). You're smart enough to keep them off their video games, etc. (I realize yours are not at that stage, but those are just some examples.) Just be stern and uncompromising until they realize whose boss. Oh, and don't be one of those permissive wimps who let cookies and t.v. "raise" their kids. Get their attention (as stated) then get involved with them. Play games that reinforce positive behaviors (we use to play "the quiet game" when on road trips). When they deserve the privilege, watch movies and t. v. with them, and comment on characters' good behaviors. Let your kids thus know YOUR values. They'll enjoy the positive attention and model what you've taught them. Also, watch your temper and your language around kids. Whatever Mom and Dad say at home becomes the norm for them. You may not hear it at home, but teachers sure hear it at school!
Speaking of school, when your children learn to read, books will become your biggest moral ally. By reading a lot, children see how actions impact those around them and pay more attention to the message (because they had to "work" to get it and now "own it"). You can start that appreciation for books now by reading to them and by providing them with picture books and coloring books.

Answer 6

Beat them. Seriously. You have to do something that puts fear into them. Obviously they aren't afraid of any repercussions of any of their actions. Take toys away, take TV away, make them sit in time out in the living room, none strikes more fear in the hearts of little kids than a good old fashioned spanking. Then after awhile when they act up all you have to say is "Do you need a spanking?" And they straighten up..."No..."

Answer 7

I have found with my three year old that time out works and if he is really mean a hug and a little conversation usually works. I don't agree with "beating" children either but a little tap on the butt doesn't hurt anything but their feelings.

Answer 8

Toy jail.

Whenever they do anything wrong, take a toy away and put it in a specific place -- like on top of a bookcase. Getting the toy back depends on good behavior instead of just elapsed time.

Answer 9

Bookstores and libraries have a ton of articles and books on the subject, things that you might not even think of! It's amazing. They're usually located in a general childcare section.

Answer 10

best thing to do is be consistant. Dont change the rules. My son is the best for keeping track of what happened in the past, and he will call you on it, if it has changed at all.