How do I tell my BF?

Question

My BF lost his wife to cancer over a year ago. His daughter has some behavioral problems. He from time to time still talks about her. He really doesn't bother me when they talk about her but I am wondering if both of them may need to see a professional? If so, how do I tell him?

Answer 1

i dont think the issue is that he still talks about his wife, that passed but that his daughter acts out or what ever it is that she does. and yes a child should seek a professional after the death of thier mother, possibly the father too
just talk to him about it, not confrontational at all, just lightly bring it up, and not in front of the daughter

Answer 2

Your boyfriend SHOULD talk about his wife. She died only a year ago. I lost my father when I was 15 which was 13 years ago, and I still talk about him. It helps. The pain of losing someone you love, that was that close to you (like a wife or parent) never goes totally away. What I would do, is suggest that the 2 of them, NOT you, go to grief counseling. You didn't lose someone, this is pain that should be shared between them only. And give the kid a break...it's only been a year, she's going to have issues with losing a parent as a child for the rest of her life...especially since it was her mother. Oh, and don't try to replace her Mom, she'll only end up resenting you for that. Instead be her friend.

Answer 3

They do not need professional help. It is ok to talk about lost loved ones to reminisce the good times together. It might anger your BF if you tell him he needs to see a professional. It would hurt his feelings and make him feel like he can't think about her anymore. Love and support him and his daughter. Remember the good times and look forward to a bright future!

Answer 4

Sounds like he is pretty normal to me. Talking is a normal way to deal with grief. His daughter is dealing with grief. I imagine the loss of her parent was very heartwrenching.
I just lost my dad in January, and I don't think I need counseling, sometimes I just need someone to listen to me and I am 41. It still hurts.

Answer 5

Tell him that your friendship means so much to you and you love him and that you just want whats best for him and his daughter. That it might be a good idea for them to go through family counseling and mak it seem like it's for her benefit however it will benefit them both. They will get closer and both deal with their grief and move past this. Invite them to go to church with you maybe if they don't go and if you attend a church. Good luck! You're a very considerate friend!

Answer 6

More information-
Like how long have you been dating him?
Do you live with him?
What is your role in the relationship?

Sounds like he start dating you too soon... A year is not a lot of time to morn a spouse and mother of your child.

Answer 7

Heyy I guess your BF is worried about his daughter very much on her future may be.. its pretty normal with fathers, even more when the mother is not around to take extra care on her.

Answer 8

I don't think they need to see a professional. Of course they are gonna talk about her because she was a big part of their lives and they miss her.

Answer 9

listen to Kurlyone....she's right on the money....I've been through it....it takes alot more than a year to greive....they both need to talk about her in order to heal...they should also have pictures of her out for the daughter's sake....and yes...if she has behaviour probs, she needs some kind of counciling...it wouldn't be fair to her if she didn't get the help she needs...as for him...maybe he should go to greif counciling too...when he is ready...

Answer 10

Just explain to him that it is because you care and are concerned for the two of them and that you are only trying to help. You know your boyfriend, you know how you should talk to him. Tell him you hope he understands, and maybe he will.