My brother who lives in New York recently got married on a bahamas island and i feel he is angry with me and my husband because we did not come to his wedding. I could not come for 3 reasons: 1) it was so far away from London 2) my kids are at school and I could not get someone to look after them for a few days 3) i would have been too worried and anxious to leave them on their own (without mum and dad). What is something had happened to us?
My brother ignores me and does not reply to my emails.
What could i say to him to make him understand that it was difficult for us to come?
2006-06-06 07:42:43 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You shouldn't have to say anything. When someone chooses to get married out of town they expect, or should expect, that most of the people they know aren't going to be able to attend. He knows your situation and shouldn't have expected you at all. If he's upset at you for not coming, he's incredibly selfish. You should be upset with him.
The most you can do is to list the same reasons you listed here. If he still chooses to be upset, there's not much you can do about it. And, quite frankly, it doesn't sound like it would be much of a loss.
2006-06-06 07:48:57 · answer #1 · answered by CarlaCCC 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your brother should realize that attending weddings is expensive for people, but usually people don't mind because it is a wonderful night out with a nice dinner and beautiful ceremony. But when you decide to have your wedding on an island in the carribean, not only is it expensive, it is VERY expensive and time consuming. Add to that children who are in school and what does he expect? I would send a card, re-stating your reasons for not being able to attend and explaining that you are very sorry you had to miss his special occasion. Then let him take it from there.
2006-06-06 07:51:59 · answer #2 · answered by korbbec 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes I' m afraid this isn't the answer that you are looking for, but I agree with 'jillhourihan' all the excuses you have put forward don't cover the fact that you could have gone on your own!!
How to rectify the situation?? Grovel grovel and do a lot more grovelling , to your brother and most importantly to your new sister in law.
Good luck with that!!
2006-06-06 07:56:00 · answer #3 · answered by budding author 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't go to his wedding....dont you think he has a right to be upset ?? You should have gone with the whole family. Its only a few days. Anyhow, you just need to give him time. Send some e-mails apologizing and trying to explain. I'm sure in time he will come around.
2006-06-06 07:48:11 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you agonized and longed to be there. Tell him how much you missed seeing him take this exciting new step in his life, that your heart was aching. Offer to pay for some pictures that you could keep or a copy of the video.
Then plan a future meeting with your familys to have your own celebration of their marriage.
2006-06-06 07:50:16 · answer #5 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't bother. You stayed with the people you love most. I'm from England, I live in Greece & got married in Italy because it's about half way between the two. I wouldn't have been offended even if my parents hadn't turned up. I got married to my wife... nobody else mattered.
2006-06-06 07:53:31 · answer #6 · answered by andy in greece 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him exactly that. Its not like he had it in his back yard.
People want to have perfect weddings, and they seem to forget that even though its supposed to be perfect for them, and they want everyone to share the day with them, it can be extremely difficult and inconvenient for family and friends to attend. ESPECIALLY on a destination wedding. Its very expensive....
Send him a wedding gift along with an apology, and im sure he will be ok....
2006-06-06 07:51:37 · answer #7 · answered by Bella 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have three brothers and if I did not go to one of their weddings, no matter where it is, they would be upset with me and they would every right to be. Brothers and sisters should be there for each other, to share good times and bad times.
2006-06-06 07:56:58 · answer #8 · answered by Lynn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably feels you should have at least come on your own. Give it time, nothing you say will make him feel better because they may have been others who traveled long-distance as well. Also a really nice gift wouldn't hurt.
2006-06-06 07:49:13 · answer #9 · answered by vero_d212 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you are sorry this happened and explain your reasons when he has kids he will understand how you feel.
Also tell him you would like to throw him a party to celebrate the wedding next time he comes to visit.
good luck
2006-06-06 07:46:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋