The judge is allowing my 5 yr old 2 stay in the home w/ his molester but w/strict supervision any advice?

Question

Today n court the judge decided that my son stay in the home and go for counseling & see a pschotherapist who i believe is pro dad and would probably ignore the childs signs of abuse help? my sons dad is claiming that i coached him to say that he was abused and i believe he will try to brainwash him preventing these proffessionals to help him and protect him from more sexual abuse.I feel like im dying inside and my spirit is crushed !!!! this man did not have any concern for this child until child support got on him. I told him i don't want his money i simply want my son. He works so much and puts child off on his mom(she's in the home)my son is not being watched becuz if he was my son would not have been abused. My son is afraid of dad n bro. Anyone know Dr. Suiter? in calif aka Dr.death. Im waiting for cps detectives and police reports now. Nobody is helping my son the "system sux" i have no support from family and i jus wanna cry!!!!! the molester is his 13 yr bro. help please?????

i can't afford to pay big $$$$ to my attorney but i thank god that she is basically working on my case pro bono since jan of this yr. ive so far only given her $100.00 but my sons dad has found out info on my 12 yr old that he is on probation for shoplifting and she is really working hard for him but it is wrong becuz he fighting to keep a child who is being molested while w/ him god im so bitter inside and my heart aches so badly now im so fed up with the court and the "system" that i can not produce tears anymore whats the use?im on ssi and im trying to fight him its like fighting fire i love this child to death i love him more then myself i believe.....help

Answer 1

I am the mother of a 12 year old boy that revealed a little over a year ago (age 11 at the time) that when he was 6 years old his cousin that was 16 at the time had sexually assaulted him. I know how you are feeling when it comes to that horror of this happening. Ia have to tell you though, you have to get him out of there now--to prevent increasing the future struggles this kind of trauma is going to cause. My son is in Boys Town now, and has been for almost a year, becasue of of the anger and frustration he had pent up in him. It literally was driving him insane. He has finally been able to talk it out and face those demons, and has really gotten much better. We hope to have him home within 4-5 months! We could have lost him forever though, as the anger in him ws causing him to do some dangerous things that I don't even need to go into here.

All of these suggestions to "run away" with your son, though well intended I am sure--will cause more trouble then you can imagine. There was a movie once about a similar situation with a little girl that was being molested by her father and the mother tried to hide her from him by running off. In the end, she got charged with kidnapping, and he got custody of the little girl!! You have to get some advocacy & get yourself heard-- Child Protective Services, lawyers, the media, the Governor of your state!! Don't give up!!
***One last note, if you can edit that post, you might want to eliminate the Dr's name--you could be sued for liabel, by using it in that content. I know, pathetic sytem of legality.

Answer 2

well I think if it was me then I would just refuse to hand him over. whatever the consequences, nothing can be worse for the both of you than, him knowing he has to go there and being so afraid, and you having to hand him over with so much at risk.
What good is it sending a child to counselling? Surely prevention is better than a cure.
Why did the Judge make such a decision, and how strict is the supervision? Over here in the UK your ex would have to see your child in a centre with staff monitoring every minute of the visit.
Don't send your son to this house where he is at risk, you are his protector, he is relying on you to protect him. However afraid you might be of the Judge or the other 'experts' ultimately you will feel better knowing you made a stand for his safety.
Sheesh, this world is crazy mad

Answer 3

wow! that sucks, but unless abuse and molestation has been proven. The father's parental rights to his children are protected by the laws. no matter how wrong it may seem, that is the law. just keep searching for an attorney or legal help that will point in the right direction. there are groups out there that help people in this situation. do what you are doing and take to the web to help point you in the right direction. good luck with this dilema. children are the most precious commodity in this world. I as a single divorced father of 2 children know this personally. I have placement of both my kids and I wouldn't know what I'd do if I ever faced this type of problem.may God be with you and your kids . good luck.

Answer 4

This is serious. Did you contact DCF with your concerns even as an anonymous caller looking for information. It is extremely hard to proove sexual abuse of this nature unless the accused confesses and in your case clearly will not. you could do many things however many of them are illegal. contact DCF and start from there. Also contact your sons school and have a personal interview with his teacher. there is some training involved for teachers to recognize the signs of abuse. dont give up. hopefully throughout all the responses that you receive here you may obtain some good leads on which way to turn. good luck.

Answer 5

A friend of mine is in a similar situation and when she got her child back from visitation with the father, the child was in pain and seemed emotionally distressed. My friend took her child to the doctor and even though the doctor couldn't find real physical signs of abuse, he wrote a note to the judge stating his concern about the situation and how he didn't think the child should be in such an environment.

Answer 6

I would do whatever it takes to get my son and leave the country if I had to. I would hire a minor and kick the 13 year old's butt. Pray about things too, but do what a mother would do to get things done. Yes, the system does suck. Remember that when you are in court stay calm, but be firm on your beliefs. Hire a private detective to investigate the 13 yr old. if you can. I feel for you....

Answer 7

You are in my prayers.

I've been in similar situations (my brother molested me). No one protected me, and after everything came out when I was an adult, no one, except my brother, has ever apologized for allowing this to happen through their neglect and/or indifference.

Young boys should not be allowed to use other children for their exploits, but many people just ignore it and laugh it off and allow it to happen over and over again when they're young...and then they grow up and do the same sick stuff as adult men.
(That's why Dateline will never run out of predators to catch in their stings.)

I pray, in Jesus' Name, according to God's promises in the Holy Bible:
--may all secret things be revealed
--may you ask God for wisdom, believing that He will answer you
--may you call on the Lord Jesus for help and see the salvation of the Lord, for yourself, as well as for your children
--may your children's peace be great: not only protection for the son who has been abused, but may both sons be healed, delivered, and completely set free by they awesome, wonder-working power of the Blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ; and may this curse be broken so that it will not continue to happen to anyone else in your family in this generation nor in future generations

I know that God hears and answers my prayers, and I thank Him for those answers right now.

Please make sure you find a local church to go to and ask for prayer and encouragement. Make sure you read the Holy Bible (my favorite translation is the Amplified Version, makes it easier to understand).

You shouldn't be trying to handle this situation without the help of the Lord Jesus Christ. With Him on your side, no one can stand against you and win.

Answer 8

get evidence and appeal. You can have the court order a psychiatric evalution of your son and the 13 yr old molesting him. But you need to be careful with accusing this 13 yr old because if its not him, you will mess up his life...


good luck

Answer 9

I would take that child and they would never see me again. I know easier said then done. Have you talked to an attorney about maybe getting a different judge and appealing the first dicision?

Answer 10

OMG I am so sorry that this is happening to you and your son. My opinion that would only do more damage to your son having to see this boy all of the time. Did you file any kind of criminal charges? And I hope you are not planning on killing anyone.