We have been married for two years and he is ready for a family. I'm like the idea of a family but I feel I need more time before I have children...We have talked about it but I just don't want to hurt him, or make him think i don't want a family...How should I go about this topic without causing a fight or hurt him???
2006-06-06 06:28:37 · 11 answers · asked by ERICKSMAMA 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Tell him that you definately want to have children, but you're not ready yet. Be honest and be prepered to discuss the situation. Tell him that you want a little more time with HIM because when kids come into the picture you're afarid that you won't be able to devote as much time to him as you would like and that you would like him all to yourself for just a little while longer.
2006-06-06 06:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by margarita 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience you will never be ready for children. I think it's good to wait a little after your married, so that you can focus on the two of you before bringing someone else into the family. I know that's not possible for everyone, but it does make a big difference.
You should be very open and honest with him about your feelings. Explain to him, just like you did here, that you don't want to hurt, you don't want to fight about it, you do want a family, but you just need some time first. That y'all need some time to grow before involving a child.
He should respect your decision to wait, but do listen to what he's telling you too. Remember communication is key to any relationship.
2006-06-06 06:43:26 · answer #2 · answered by SmilingG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a difficult situation i must admit, howvere the best defence is a good offense, point out to him that you are both in the selfish stage of your marriage and that as you grow together both emotionally and fincancially in a few years you will be ready to bring achild into the world and that at this point in time you want to grow closer with him before parenthood that way you both will be stable parents and a united front is what todays children need more then anything else.
2006-06-06 06:36:03 · answer #3 · answered by psychologist is in 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth say at this point of your life your not ready to be a parent. Also remind him that right now is the only time you guys are going to have to be alone together because a child will change your life forever and take all your time.
2006-06-06 06:34:52 · answer #4 · answered by chemicalbrothers13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need to decide when to start. I understand your hesitancy, but you need to tread carefully. Having kids and when to have kids is a major issue. If you keep putting him off too long, it could damage or destroy your marriage. You might feel unready, but as soon as you see your child that is both of you rolled together, you'll be ready. I got pregnant at 17. I was very unready! But I loved her to bits the first time I felt her move, when she'd kick, and when she came out. If it makes you feel any better, most people don't become pregnant as soon as they start trying. It usually takes several months to several years. Just include him in the process. Its your body, but it'll be his child too.
2006-06-06 06:37:27 · answer #5 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a limited reproductive window to have children. Putting it off, realistically means not having children ever, for you. Your husband should be aware of this fact. If he wants a family and you can't give him that, then he should divorce you and marry a woman who will give him a family.
2006-06-06 06:34:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you're just not ready for kids right now. It's your body. Tell the truth, don't beat around the bush. Men don't take hints very well.
2006-06-06 06:30:52 · answer #7 · answered by kalsmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im hoping to god that you had a communique about this earlier you got married and that something like, his dazzling pal or brother/ sister had a infant at the moment has shook that convo to hell! the in straightforward words thanks to do it truly is without delay-ahead. "i'm no longer fairly waiting to have childrens yet, i ought to wish to appreciate an extra suitable twelve months (or maybe with the undeniable fact that lengthy) of in basic terms us so i visit get waiting." in my opinion I wouldnt justify his "how" with an answer because it fairly doesnt matter why you arent waiting or how youll practice, that is fairly neither the following nor there.
2016-12-06 10:35:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say can we what for kid until i am ready
2006-06-06 06:31:44 · answer #9 · answered by joey M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest u cant have a relationship if u r not honest
2006-06-06 06:30:59 · answer #10 · answered by punkin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋