My boyfriend and i have been going out for 4 years but we dont live together. I have this very strong woman's intuition that he cheats on me. One day i had just spoken to him on his mobile and he said he was about to enter a meeting at work but i saw him somewhere else 10 mins later (he was on his own in his car) He needed at least 25mins to drive to where i saw him. He also sent me by mistake 2 or 3 strange sms that were not meant for me; nothing romantic and nothing to do with business but they were definitly meant for a woman. One sms read: I m with my girlfriend's daughter now ring me on my mob (he collected my daughter from school at the time and had to brieftly take her to his office before dropping her to my place).
He always finds an answer to these strange things and tells me i have a strong imagination
2006-06-06 06:05:39 · 11 answers · asked by star m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
From the information you have provided I suspect you may be imagining things.
You have been together for 4 years but are still not married or living together. Is this yours or your boyfriend's choice? If your boyfriend's then perhaps his lack of commitment to the relationship is prompting these feelings that he is having an affair.
You have only given two examples of his suspect behaviour, the second of which is extremely weak. There is nothing in the SMS message that indicates it was addressed to a woman never mind a women he is having an affair with. The fact that he referred to you as his girlfriend makes me sceptical that it would have been to a woman he is romantically involved with.
Catching him out in a lie about his meeting is a little more worrying. However you indicate that he had an excuse - was his excuse reasonable?
Possibly your woman's intuition is just your subconscious telling you that you are no longer satisfied with the relationship and your boyfriend's lack of commitment and you are looking for a way out.
Do you have any close friends that you can talk to about your concerns? They will probably be able to give you a better opinion than anyone here.
2006-06-09 21:19:22 · answer #1 · answered by John H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say if that's all you have to go on, it's kinda weak. My wife once thought I might be cheating on her because I don't like to talk on my mobile phone and drive at the same time. Well, I don't. I don't feel safe, even when it's on speaker. I do it until I get to the highway now, so she knows I'm really on my way home after work, because I have an hour commute. But I'm not going to talk on the phone while I'm on the highway if I can avoid it. She thought the reason I'd get off then was because I was calling some other girl. This was right after our son was born, so I'm sure hormones figure in there somewhere.
Why would text messaging someone to say that he's with your daughter necessarily be meant for a woman? That's the kind of thing I can see sending to my brother. Again, weak.
The not being at work when he said he was is a bit suspicious, but not overly so, and has more innocent explanations than guilty explanations: he could have been shopping for a suprise for you, or shopping for himself, or meeting someone out for lunch for the meeting.
If you have other things, don't ignore those just because the things you mentioned are innocent, but what you've mentioned is a little weak.
2006-06-06 13:25:49 · answer #2 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 years in a relationship and yet you can't trust your man? What exactly are you guys waiting for to get married? Anyway, you didn't mention nothing about the love between you two.
You definitely ain't imagining it. One lie usually leads to another, and then another... what matter at this point is what both of you want in the relationship. If you love him and intends marrying him, then you have to be bold to discuss your fears. But if you just want a man around you like O' W', then I guess you should start shopping for another man. 4 years is enough for anyone to either decide to settle down with a partner or call it quits.
2006-06-06 13:30:00 · answer #3 · answered by Saintpi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always believed that your gut feelings are hardly ever wrong. I would ask him the questions about the things you have seen like lying about where he was and about the sms, see if he'll give you a straight answer. If you've been together 4 years you should be able to tell if he is bullshitting you in his answer. Then decide if its worth pursuing.
2006-06-06 13:11:38 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men and Woman think different what makes no sense to a guy will do to a woman . That sms ...... what makes you think its ment for a woman to me i think it could be one of his mates so really i think as a guy its not strange as you think . You are just thinking negative about him because you are a woman who probably thinks negative about guys . I bet really your just insecure and if you keep telling your self something you actually start to belive it which can happen . Your a nutcase and for sure their is nothing going on im my mind , you would cause a upset if you accused him of cheating if he wasent i mean i hope he leavs you if thats the case .
2006-06-06 13:21:45 · answer #5 · answered by badass-mofu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not imagining that your relationship is not 100% truthful. Stop questioning and take action while you still have some self-esteem. If you stay with this guy you'll find it hard to ever trust anyone again.
2006-06-06 17:17:13 · answer #6 · answered by minerva 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
women are psychic and know these things...women are also psychotic and crazy and imagine things...so you need to really sit down and decide which side of the line you fall on...really talk to him, you can sniff it out and tell if he is lying...you have been together for 4 years, there is no way he should be able to lie to you and you not know it unless you are willingly blind to it
2006-06-06 13:28:09 · answer #7 · answered by twentythree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like classic patterns. let your boyfriend know your suspicions and ask if you can see his past messages. most likely you will find lots of text messages that are not to you. let him know he shouldnt try to squrim his way out of what is going on by not telling the truth.
2006-06-06 13:14:50 · answer #8 · answered by smiths j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you watch the show Cheaters? Call them they will do a full investigation
2006-06-06 13:09:18 · answer #9 · answered by DeeLicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest hun, it sounds like your could be right, but it might not be cheating, it also sounds like he's could just be getting board of the relationship, how are old are you and he???
2006-06-06 13:32:42 · answer #10 · answered by Ando 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋