i'm getting ready to go to minnasota for 2 weeks, which means i'm going to be leaving my boyfrined, and last night over the phone, he said he 'hopes he doesn't lose me." when i asked him what he meant, he said that his last girlfriend, went on a trip and cheated with 3 different guys, and i got realy upset cause i felt like he was comparing me to her, or that he would even think i'd do something like that. and when i told him that, he started to feel really bad for making me feel bad, and spent the whole time saying e was sorry, but i stayed a stubbron brat about it. and now to day i feel really bad for the way i acted, and i'm not sure if i was right to react that way, or not.
2006-06-06 04:48:10 · 8 answers · asked by grn*id*harpie*girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You probably didn't need to blow him off about it, if that's how you reacted. Yeah, you should be upset that he's comparing you (possibly) to his past relationships, I've been there, but you should also be a little understanding that he's been hurt and he remembers being hurt. Call him up and apologize, he sounds like a pretty sensitive guy and reassure him that you only have eyes for him.
2006-06-06 04:54:07 · answer #1 · answered by sgrjackson1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps, your boyfriend was doing something a lot of boyfriends will never do tell you he was hurt. Admittedly he didn't do it well. Sometimes guys and gals have difficulty communicating things that are important to them. Guys say it from a position of the past, glas say it with feelings. I got hurt in the past would have been a better response to you. Instead he compared you probably unintentionally. Trust is built and earned. It takes a lot of hard work. You could have responded gently I would never have even thought of hurting you that way. Listening to what is not being said is as important as what is being said. Take heart relationships require work, forgiveness and consumption of humble pie. Good thing is there are no calories but the rewards are great!
2006-06-06 04:57:30 · answer #2 · answered by Jeffrey E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend may not have said it in the best way but what he was saying was sort of sweet. He doesnt want to lose you. He has been hurt in the past and is afraid he will get hurt again. Guys arnt perfect sometimes when they are trying to say something that shows they care they have to add a whole lot of other jibber jabber to not make it so girly or romantic. You are going away and odds are he isnt used to spending time away from you and is worried that because other girls have cheated on him that he is not worthy of your loyalty. If you just get mad he may apologize like you said but he is still going to worry. You need to explain to him that he is the only person you want to be with and that you are nothing like any of the girls he ever dated before. Good luck
2006-06-06 04:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by Kay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel bad what is done is done feeling bad ain't going to change how the two of you made each other feel like. Understand that he is vulnerable in these situations he has been hurt and yes ever girl hates to be compared to the EX but fact still remains that at the end of the day he will more then likely will never trust again. Its in your place to make feel secure about his place as your man. He needs to no that he ain't going no where.
That don't work just put it on him reeaaaaal good the night before you leave. That way nobody has to worry.
2006-06-06 04:59:27 · answer #4 · answered by a_bug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you can understand his fears. Considering his history, don't you think he has reason to be fearful of "losing you"?
He showed you his weakness and you scoffed at it.
Not cool.
If anything, you should've eased his fears by expressing yourself to him in a loving manner, not take offense.
2006-06-06 04:54:05 · answer #5 · answered by Shep 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just worried that it might happen again he is not saying that you would...he is just worried that it might because of his past...just try to call him often while you are gone send him cards or something to let him know that you still love him....
2006-06-06 04:52:05 · answer #6 · answered by jeff402006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you overreacted, it's not like he accused you of anything he just said he hoped you wouldn't do it.
2006-06-06 04:52:37 · answer #7 · answered by Fer22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont understand why you going to leave him? And you r not same person to his ex.
2006-06-06 04:51:47 · answer #8 · answered by boathouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋