Happily married for 12 yrs...with 4 great children. We dont have credit cards, if we dont have the cash then we dont buy it. We do without alot and so do the children. We receive food assistance and go to food pantries sometimes. Husband works full-time and during football and basketball season has a second job. Our youngest is 7 mths old and Im a stay at home mom. I have worked in the past, but it usually all went to childcare. We have never had a family vacation, and the bills are barely getting paid. We are currently renting and just found out we have to move...the landlords family wants to buy the house. Now we have to move and that is another expence...we werent prepared to deal with right now. I just want to relieve some stress from hubby and lighten his load he is a great father and provider...How can the children and I help? Loving wife and mom! Thanks... :)
2006-06-06 04:13:44 · 12 answers · asked by beth 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Its the little things that make a marriage..we support one another always!
2006-06-06 04:29:38 · update #1
Thanks ..Wise ol' owl ! You sound like a strong and loving family..best to you all! xx
2006-06-06 04:32:21 · update #2
A lot of help for you on this one. I'm sure that I will get the BEST ANSWER.
First, Cheers for being a stay at home mom! I'm married. My wife and I have seven children. Married eight years and she stays at home. We don't have or do credit cards either. Save up, Cash and carry. I'm currently working a second job to build up our emergency fund. The youngest child is under six months. Stress doesn't happen when you have a plan. I highly encourage you to check out Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. It is a marriage and life saver. We have employed his plan even before we got into the program. We were debt free before starting FPU. We now are learning how to BUDGET. We have just completed a zero based budget and now we are winning every time. My wife is the greatest in the world. She always wants to do something to help. I tell her that she does everyday, by not putting our children in possible harms way. You feel confident that you are winning, when you have a plan. WHen that plan comes together, it works and you have peace.
Kudos and keep up the good work. Hugs from my house to yours.
2006-06-06 04:24:57 · answer #1 · answered by Wise ol' owl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hun, what a rough situation! I am so sorry that your family is struggling right now. It sounds to me that you are doing everything just right by remaing a constant support and encouragement to your Hubby. The financial aspect of "if you don't have cash don't buy it" is a great one. This is how you stay out of debt. I'm sure you have a budget right now as well? When I was younger my parents were in the same situation. We ate a lot of cheapo boxed mac-n-cheese for dinner and clothing was something that was almost always hand me down. Your children are treasures for being so well behaved!
As far as the move goes, will your landlord give back the security deposit, if you had to come up with one initially? Will she help you find a new place or put in a good word for you when you do find one? How much time do you have before you need to move?
On the stress relief aspect of things, I honestly don't believe there is much that can be done about that right now. Just keep being the sweet and loving wife that you are, and pray for guidance.
I'm sorry I can't be of more help. (((hugs))) Please update soon!
2006-06-06 11:22:46 · answer #2 · answered by dragonfly_daydreams 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, your life sounds exactly like mine!! I have 4 children and I love my husband, and we dont have much to live on either. I feel for ya. I know exactly what you are going through and it is tough!!! Just keep you head up, god wont give you more than you can handel, so that mean you are a very strong family, to be recieving all these triles and tribulations!! God works in mysterious ways. When ever we cant pay rent or bills, we recieve money at the last minute from my husbands bonus or something like that. First thing you need to do is pray. I know you cant work because its like $10 or more just for daycare. Maybe you can move in with a family member just until you get your feet on the ground. Maybe you should look in the paper everyday for a new job for your hubby. Thats all I got, as I said before I am in the same situation. God bless!
2006-06-06 11:55:56 · answer #3 · answered by mini_may04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you guys have family or friends near by that can watch the kids and let you and the hubby have an afternoon together? Doesn't need to be elaborate. Just have a picnic and have some time to yourselves to relax.
As for your financial situation...sounds like you are doing everything right by trying to stay out of debt and live within your means. Not sure what it is that your husband does. Could he ask for a raise or a promotion? Or ask what he needs to do to be qualifed for one? Maybe he needs to take some sort of class and maybe his current employer will help him either by giving him the time to take it or financially sponsoring him? I know things are tight, but sometimes you need to put out some money to make more money...like when pursuing a degree. I know that when you have kids, it makes it all the more tough to find the time. If there are roadblocks with his current employer, maybe look for a job elsewhere that pays more money? He may be qualified to do more elsewhere.
Not positive on this, but I think that the government may provide tax credits for taking classes. He could look for options in increase his education at a community college or pick up a trade.
So, in short..my advice is to look at these options...
1. Get a Pay Increase with Current employer
2. Leave job and get a higher paying job.
3. Increase education/credentials to work into a higher paying job.
Good luck.
2006-06-06 11:28:39 · answer #4 · answered by BAM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're an incredibly amazing and rare woman to be able to handle all this stress right now and on top of that continue to be home with your children and be there for your husband. I hold the highest respect for women like you. My mother is also a SAHM, and I thank her for it everyday because I wouldnt be the woman I am today without her, she has ALWAYS been there for me and is my bestfriend. Personally, my mother is YET to find a way to relieve my fathers financial stresses- but I personally feel if you just be there with him when he gets home from work, make sure he gets atleast 10-15minutes alone with you somehow just to talk. Let him know all these things you're telling us, that he's a wonderful husband, father and friend to you. And that you trust that life and finances will all balance themselves out at some point and whenever it happens it happens. I'm sure you both know you didnt marry eachother according to financial "sturdiness"- You love him! He OBVIOUSLY loves and respects you, to support your decision to be home.
And maybe a back massage and a "nookie-night" might work too ;) But dont forget! You work too, so get him in on the massage idea hehehe
Goodluck sweety! I wish the best for you and your family!
2006-06-06 11:25:33 · answer #5 · answered by aMansRuin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear you two are having some rough times... I understand the stay at home thing and everything you earn just goes to childcare... sounds like he is trying and that is all he can do.... try low income housing or something.... Maybe you will fit into the criteria... I know that isn't the way you maybe want to go, but it might help out for awhile.. I wish I had the answers for you. But with a 7 month old I know that means expensive childcare so you working may be out of the question... I just don't know what else to say to you except that I am truly sorry that you are in this situation... Just support him and make his life as easy and restful as possible when he is at home.. I know it isn't easy for you either...
2006-06-06 11:20:38 · answer #6 · answered by howlincoyote 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just reassure him that everything will be fine. As long as you work together as a family, you can accomplish anything! Fix him his favorite meal, tell him you love him and what a wonderful husband and father he is (very rare these days), give him a nice back rub, and when the kids are asleep...give him anything else he loves! I have never had money in my life, but as long as you have love and keep your faith, you will be fine. Remember, God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I sure wish he didn't trust me so much! LOL It just makes us stronger in the long run. men feel that they have to provide for their loved ones, but sometimes we all need to accept a little help. Be grateful for it, don't let it hurt your pride, we all do what we have to do to take care of our children the best way we know how. Good luck!
2006-06-06 11:22:43 · answer #7 · answered by tedbear's woman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u have a computer u can work from home go to www.workathomeagents.com its free u just have to pass a test and ur in u get paid by how long ur on the phone with customers check it out ,i did
2006-06-06 11:19:18 · answer #8 · answered by monkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make him a nice dinner and maybe a batch of brownies. tell him how much you love him and how much you apprecitate him. and honey it does get better. trust in God he will see you through. But you should think about not having any more children. just a thought.
2006-06-06 11:18:33 · answer #9 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U can tell the children do not bug dad for am give well, cook for him, give him a massage.
GOD bless you.
COngrats on beong marriage so long.
2006-06-06 11:17:44 · answer #10 · answered by Jetta C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋